Monday, July 31, 2006

Jay-Z Up In Da House!!!

Dude from across the street came over last night, somehow, don’t ask me, I offered to let him hit me as hard as he could in my stomach. I think my sister could have done better. Did leave a bruise though.

Was informed this morning that I said (in a drunken stupor) last night that I would so do Nick Lachey, and that he was so fucking hot. Am I the straight guy when sober, gay guy when drunk? He is a very good looking guy though.

Hot chick in the company next to me at work, little stomach, little ass, nice cleavage, cute flip flops every day, don’t think she likes me though. A boy can always dream. I have found that I check out women during every waking moment. Do it so often that I now have a female friend trained to do the same. Did I mention she peed her pants on Saturday?

Went for a jog today, holy mother fucker, it was hot out. Usual two mile trek took me double the normal time, lot of walking involved. When I got done it looked like I peed my shorts, way too much sweat.

Watched a documentary about Jay-Z’s final concert at Madison Square Garden. They showed a lot of the concert and had segments of him in the recording studio making the Black album. Really interesting, appeared that he made each song in a day. He flew out to LA to record a song with these two 50 year old white guys with 12” white beards, kind of an odd combination, can’t remember which song it was. Other producers (Kanye West, Pherrell, etc) would come over to his recording studio and they’d go through one song to the next, bobbing their heads to the beat, when J’s head starting seriously bobbing you knew it was the one. Once the beat was picked, they’ play it over and over, J just sitting in the corner with a serious face, still bobbing, composing the song in his head. Shortly later he’d hop in the room, do the numerous takes for a verse, come out to listen to it and compose the next verse in his head. I was pretty impressed, had the whole family watching it (I hog the TV on the weekends).

Found 2 L bottles of lemonade at Walmart for $.58. Man I love Walmart. My new combo of vodka and lemonade costs me $10.13 plus tax and lasts four days, I’m fucking cheap. Grabbed a plastic shot glass from the bar and measured what I put in my 16 ounce glass. Turned out to be four shots. Three drinks a night on the new deck, 12 shots of vodka, issues?

So I’m at work on Monday, 10:00, Chase bank says it's 95 degrees. Why didn’t I get A/C when I ordered my Jeep? Cheap ass. I have to change into my workout clothes just to make it home after work.

Ok, I must admit, currently doing the head bob to Jay-Z while writing. Friend came over so I’m logging off. Peace out and keep the beverages flowing.

Sunday, July 30, 2006

Weekend Festivities

Friday, vodka a flowing, chatting with friends till 11:30 and the deck. The neighborhood gay guy was having a party so we stumbled over. One can of Coors Lite (who buys Coors Lite) and one mixed drink (who knows what was in that) and I'm hanging on to a minivan for dear life while the pipsqweek across the street is singing "Lady" by Kenny Rogers in front of 15 people who were just laughing at him. Walked home the three blocks, would have gotten lost if not for a very good friend who showed the way and carried my drink for me (why can't she find her way around West Allis driving?). Sat on the deck and finished the mystery drink, and crashed.

Saturday was much much better (from my point of view at least). In the pool during the day, J is talking about getting some Malibu and pineapple juice (and she doesn't drink). She's been hanging around me too much, looked at the $20 price tag on the Malibu and past on it, but she did pick up my 1.75L bottle of vodka. She gets to my house at 7:45 (that's close to the 7:00 time she told me earlier). Good thing pipsqweek dropped off a 30 pack of beer earlier, I was out of juice so the vodka would have been a little strong (as in 100%). I'm making my usual 75/25 vodka and she says she wants one too, but she wants to make it. Pours about a half a shot in the 16 ounce cup, I laugh and fill it with lemonade. I finish making mine, go outside and enjoy the good company. Ten minutes later she asks me to add a little more vodka to her drink (I couldn't even taste the vodka in her original cup). So I add an amount roughly the same as what she put in so now there's roughly a shot in the cup. Sitting outside, chatting, once in a while I let her know that she hasn't touched her cup in a while hinting that she take a drink. Gets to point where it's almost time to go to the bar (she's signed up for karaokee already) and her drink is 75% full and mine is half full. Tell her that by the time I'm done with mine hers has to gone too. By some miracle she finishes hers in what could be called one big gulp (through a straw) while mine is still 25% full. Finish mine and go in the house, walk past the bathroom, do a double take, her head is on my toilet seat (euw). I should have known something was wrong when I had to hold her arm and walk her to the bar. I get the usual pitcher, she gets the usual water. I get two beers into the pitcher and she's wavering badly. She's getting hot (you know what's coming then) and decides to go to the bathroom. Watched her round the bar and head in the right direction, I grab my beer, look back up and her head is gone (that's about all you can see of her over the bar). Door man and another employee are bending over, trying to pick up the limp body that's on the floor in front off them. One has her in a bear hug trying to sit her in a stool, K yells at me that I need to get over there. I take a gulp and beer and get up (beer, I'll be back). Midget and I try to walk her out but the dude's a midget, it didn't work since I'm 6'4", and J goes down for the second time. K informed me "be careful, she peed herself" and after the second fall, "oh god, she just peed again". Great, so I have to walk a pee soaked unconsious asian girl back to my house. I quickly learn that I should be happy with this scenario and I see the midget has pee on his leg from his thigh to his knee, a strip about four inches wide, pretty dark and soaked through. K and I pick her up, midget goes home and changes, get her in my house where she proceeds to take a shower in her clothes. K leaves, door of the bathroom is locked, I sit outside and have a cigarette. I hear J open the door and I catch her rounding the corner and flopping (with required one bounce) into the bed with a towel around her. On her stomach, I ask her if she's ok, not expecting a response, but she says yes. So I go back to the bar (had half a pitcher sitting there!), finish it, pretty lame night so I leave. Check on her again, still on her stomach, decide to make a special lemonade and go on the blog (see previous blog, took forever with the wobbly fingers). Sunday morning, walk into the shower to the worst smell, evidently she puked in my shower. Pouring drano as I type. But she took me to George Webbs for lunch so I'm happy. Peace out and keep the beverages flowing.

Saturday, July 29, 2006

Tid Bits

Ok, comments on the deck

1. B, are you building a deck? No, I'm putting in a swimming pool.
2. You're boards are crooked, what the fuck? No Gary, you're just drunk.
3. Was it cheaper to do it by yourself? 150 hours put in so far, yeah, it would be cheaper if someone else did it, dumb ass. And it was a woman.

8:00 and it's 89 degrees in my house, I'm a cheap ass.

I spoke to a woman who works in the next building, told her if she stood on the bench and bent over she'd be at the right height (she's all of 5'0"), thankfully she laughed.

Spoke with another woman in the smoking section, told her how I told one woman not to come over anymore but I enjoyed the KY she left...

Pops and I put on the stairs today, I totally stank. The towel I was using was gross. Dad said he kept on smelling something rank and didn't know what it was. Yeah, just sweat off my non-showered body. Hope I don't smell like that during sex.

Bottle of vodka I bought on Wednesday is gone, 1.75 L worth, just ingested in my system.

Had a friend over, had one shot of my wonderfull vodka (at least I think it is), fell over at the bar. Asked me beforehand how I do it, just comes naturaley. That's me. Peace out and keep the beverages flowing.

Thursday, July 27, 2006


In my random searches for interesting blogs I found one today from some woman in LA with dating issues. Scrolling down I found this entry:

F*ck Complacency
In my opinion when a person starts getting too complacent that is when everything starts going wrong. You've gotta keep moving forward in your life and never be at a place where you are just a robot, even if you think you are a happy one.

But I do want to stress that I am not advocating a constant state of unsatisfactory living. Be grateful everyday with what the blessings you have. I think it's the conspicuous consumption syndrome that I have a problem with. Where everything is so easy and seamless that we forget to live.

So get out there! Go running, nap on the beach, take a yoga class, make some new friends - but get out of your comfort zone. There is so much more to life than being stuck in your own world.

Holy shit, this is me, doing the same thing every day. I have a decent house (with a wonderful deck!), decent job (although it may be a little unexciting), good friends/acquaintances, I’m generally happy (maybe not sober, but happy), but I am doing the Mr. Roboto robot walk through life. So I am going to make an effort to “get out there”, I do go running, nap on the beach would be great, don’t think I’ll take a yoga class though. But I will get out of my comfort zone. My goal tonight is to come up with interesting things I can do to become less complacent – all while keeping my usual buzz on! The easy things that come to mind is calling ex-girlfriends while I’m drunk, but that’s old, been there, done that. I need something new and inspiring, like going jogging late at night (doing the famous drunk windmill with the arms), but in my boxers with my wee wee hanging out. Maybe a drunk man’s cooking class where they show you the proper techniques to load a watermelon with vodka. Mow my lawn after four pitchers and see what it looks like in the morning (or if I have all my toes left). See how many summersaults I can do back from the bar without either passing out or puking my guts out. Sit on the front step and flip off everyone who drives by, maybe even use both hands. Or better yet moon them all. Even better, leave ass cheek marks on the hood of a certain Acura across the street! If anyone has any other ideas please let me know (besides wearing women’s underwear, already done that, don’t think I’ll be posting pictures of that on here, sorry). Peace out and keep the beverages flowing.

Wednesday, July 26, 2006

I'm Pimping Like A Drowned Rat

So I found this article today that some woman wrote about her shitty (ha, ha) sex/date one night. I can’t do the story justice so you’ll just have to read it. I tried to think of my worst date ever and I couldn’t think of one. Of course I haven’t actually dated in a very long time. I’m even openly honest with women by telling them I’m not dating material. Not quite sure why that is, I just know it for a fact. It could be that I’ve been emotionally hurt in the past and don’t want to get back into a situation like that. Or maybe I don’t want to be the one inflicting the emotional pain of breaking up (figure everyone’s going to break up at some point, too negative?). I’ll admit I am a bit lazy when it comes to dating. I don’t want to go out to eat at a fancy restaurant, don’t want to meet the family, don’t want the dating to interfere with my daily routine. Shit, even a lunch date would screw up my precious gym time (only one woman in the gym today, rest were all old guys, but that’s just fine with me). Going to a different topic (that one could gone on forever), today was back day at the gym. I’ve been trying something different lately with the nagging shoulder thing, been doing a little less weight but cutting the rest period in half and alternating exercises. So I’ll do a lat pull down, take some water, wipe off the sweat, and do a lat row, take some water, wipe off the sweat, and repeat. Today at the end I was even tossing in a shoulder strengthening exercise in between. With five minutes left on the clock I was freaking beat. Found a bench and could have fallen asleep. After about three minutes of that I can hear the old guys giving me shit I can’t take a nap in the gym, packed up my shit and went to the locker room. Guessing I’ll be feeling it tomorrow.

Against my better judgment I stopped at the store and picked up some vodka and limeade (kind of like lemonade). I had to get toilet paper anyways since I didn’t have a single square left in the house, and I hate shopping so I got the vodka at the same time. Let me tell you, this shit is good! The limeade is really strong and works a little too well with the 75/25 proportions I like (the 75% would be the vodka). Smooth as a baby’s butt.

I’ve gotta start writing shit down again, I think of good crap to write about at work all the time and when it comes time to write I forget about them.

There’s a woman down the hall from me at work, cute, pretty smart (smart enough to not get involved with me), black woman with a black woman’s ass. I saw her car outside and the back end was sagging, she must have had a lot of stuff in the trunk because it’s only a year old. She works in an open office with 10 other people within ear shot of her. I sooooo wanted to go over and ask her if she had junk in her trunk today. Right in front of all her coworkers. I could just imagine the heads snapping around at that comment. For some reason they all talk about me, B got a new hair cut, B’s sporting a hickey on his neck (damn nurse!), B’s all dressed up today. Even their boss will make comments. I was talking with one of the women in the hallway and her boss walked by, “So that’s why you’re not sitting at your desk, your out here flirting with B.” At least I’m entertaining.

I’ll think of better shiznit for tomorrow, peace out and keep the beverages flowing.

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

Fading Memory

Those who know me might understand this, those who don’t might think I’m full of shit. This is more of a question to ponder, a life question that you may comment on, maybe even give a little advice on. WHY THE HELL DO I GET SWAYING DRUNK EVERY FUCKING NIGHT? Normally I can function like the average person during the day, maybe even better than the average person (I am special). But lately I’ve been hearing stories about the night before that I have absolutely no recollection of, nothing, not even hearing a story and remembering bits and pieces, completely nothing. I think I’m falling back into my old ways, I was improving for a little while. And it’s not just the end of the night stuff, it’s like 2-3 hour blocks of time that are missing from my memory. Intellectual conversations (as intellectual as you can get after three pitchers) about who knows what, different opinions shared, the proper procedure for this or that, talking to friends I haven’t seen in a month and having no idea what came out of my mouth or went into my ears. Last night I had a deep conversation with a very close friend and I don’t think it was really a good conversation but I can’t remember a damn thing that was said. I’d like to think it was random babblings that spew out of me but I don’t think that was the case. Memory of an 80 year old with Alzheimer’s. Maybe it’s not the memory, could just be the vodka and beer, more likely the case. Here’s the part that might be hard to believe. A friend dropped off a 1.75 L bottle of cheap vodka on Saturday. I made a drink for a friend and the rest was mine, it’s half gone after 3 days. So almost two liters of vodka should last me six days, see something wrong with that? Friend who dropped off the vodka also dropped off a carton of OJ. OJ carton is smaller than the vodka and the vodka will be finished before the OJ. Sad part is it’s not just the vodka, that’s just the starter. Two or three or four pitchers of beer at the corner will follow the third of a liter every night.

Monday, July 24, 2006

Peep Show

Saturday evening after we got done with the deck I had the neighborhood over for beverages. Irritating short dude from across the street, neighbor down the street, his co-worker, his daughter, and his daughter’s friend, just chilling on the almost completed deck. Linds asks if I have any vodka, and knowing that she drinks UV I inform her that all I have is cheap shit (cheap as it comes). I make her an OJ/vodka with about half the vodka I usually put in. She tries it, makes this contorted face and asks if I made it strong enough. I proceed to show her my cup which in comparison to hers looks like it’s filled with Sprite (there was OJ in there, I swear!). So I think I officially over served Linds (they had an early night). I’m still sweaty and yucky from working outside all day and desperately need a shower. The peeps are getting restless and want to go up to the bar so I go inside and take a shower. I always leave the door open to the bathroom as the humidity kills me when I get out of the shower, did the same this time. The shampoo is working it’s magic on my head, grab the soap, and whoosh, the shower curtain is open and there are 3 or 4 people in my bathroom. Linds has the curtain in her hand and is staring at my unit/digit/appendage, whatever you want to call it. Standing there for 4 seconds, I have my hands at my sides in the “What the fuck?” position, Linds asks if I’m going to cover it up. Obviously she doesn’t know me that well. Figure if she wants to pull a stunt like that I’m going to pull one right back on her and not cover up. Should have taken a picture of her with her jaw hanging all the way open. I don’t remember what my reply was (see above beverages), but she closed the shower and left. I got dressed and went back to the porch and we all went to the corner bar. Two hours later I found out the hard way that I had over served myself as I fell and smacked my head on the door. The 92 steps to my front door came in two sets of 46, had to take a seat halfway home and mumbled something about buying one of the apartment buildings right next to the bar to my walking home helper (thank you for not tripping me!).

Friday, July 21, 2006

$100 For What?

I was reading the smoking gun website today, some guy was suing a sperm bank because he found a surveilence camera in one of the "donation" rooms. Big whoopdeedoo, so someone's watching you whack off, is it that big of a deal? Your penis (or part of it, I'm guessing my hand covers half of it, I'll check next time) is exposed for 2-5 minutes and you unload in a cup, is it that exciting that someone would get off on that? Oh, yeah, what's going on this Friday? Oh, we're watching guys whack off at the donation place? Sweet! I'll bring a twelve pack if you get the chicken wings. How much footage do you have? Four hours, holy crap, I'll bring over a case then! Have you previewed it? Are there any fat guys who can't even see what they're doing? I always like watching the fat guys try to aim in the cup when they can't see the source. Any hot latinos? Yes? I'll bring a bottle of Doctors to do shots with each shot on the tape. What, you just picked up a 60" plasma? Oh my god, these cum shots are going to be super big, oh, I can't wait. What time does the party start? What, that late? I don't think I can wait that long to see guys masterbate, can't we move it up to 6:00? If Jim and Jane come at 7:00 they'll only miss one hour, they can still watch three hours worth and do at least ten shots with us, I better bring two bottles of Doctors. Oh, I can't wait, I'm so excited. Oh, I'm sorry, the ranch sauce didn't go well with you last time while watching guys orgasm? I'll bring some barbeque sauce then. I guess white Russians are out then too. Yes I've been drinking, I can only write this kind of shit under the heavy influence, thank you OJ and vodka. You know I like the guys with who tan in thongs (Hulk Hogan), are there any of those? Oh my, I'll be in heaven. Nothing like seeing a tan ass shaking with the all important thong tan line (why would a guy tan in a thong, I don't get it, just go naked, at least then my junk gets tan and matches it's size).

So you get my point, why would someone actually want to watch this? Thing that gets me, granted he was in LA, but he got $100 per "donation". What the hell? $100? Granted he's probably a college educated person (as am I, thank you) who doesn't have a criminal record (wish I could say that, just driving difficulties), doesn't drink (won't even go there, see driving difficulties), is over six feet tall (I qualify once again!), brown hair, blue eyes (check and check), and has a decent employment record (check again). So the only thing that keeps me from making $100 per "deposit" is the whole drinking thing. Come on, my sperm are still good, they still swim like Olympic gold medalists, back stroke (he he) and all. Not exactly Mark the six time Olympic gold medalist fag, but they will swim upstream. Just give me a chance, if you take my donation it might turn out just fine (oh my, another B out there, scary). Hell, if I could make $100 a pop I'd be richer than Bill Gates.

Thursday, July 20, 2006

Thursday, Another Day Of Building

Today's weather was much more suitable for building, maybe low 80's but still nice and sunny. Deck is finally starting to take shape, bigger than I thought it would be. Now I'm wondering what the hell I'm going to put on it. It's a third of the size of my house, basically like a second living room. I spent $1,600 on living room furniture (ehem), hopefully it won't cost that much to fill this expanse that could be used as a dance floor (dad suggested I get a band to use the dance floor, but we all know tall white guys can't dance). Tomorrow we'll be screwing down the deck boards and will finally be able to walk on it (and fall off the edge since it won't have railings yet).

So, it's summer time, school is out till the fall, and the neighbor's daughters are always around the neighborhood. On three occasions today they drove past yelling hi or commenting on my physique (yeah, I know I'm sexy), everytime with my dad working right next to me. Should I feel just a little weird that girls my sister's age are yelling my name or whatever? If I'm by myself on the back patio (soon to be deck!) I don't mind it at all, actually dissappointed if they don't acknowledge my pitifull existance (please come talk to me, I'm lonely). But when pops is standing right next to me I get this odd feeling, like no I'm not into girls who just got out of high school, they're just the neighbor's daughters and their friends, no big deal. I would never tell him that their dad called me one night and said they were coming to pick me up to go downtown to meet him, cruising to downtown with 4 girls 19 and younger. Not that anything would ever happen with any of them but it still sounds just a tad bad. Just friends who are girls and happen to be a decade younger than me (oh that's sad, I'm getting old, dirty old man). I figure I shouldn't even worry about it, if their dad is cool with it than everything's peachy, right? Maybe I'm thinking too much on this.

Tonight the bar is closed (boo hoo), stupid wedding reception. Cute girls in dresses, free drinks, strange people to meet, and I'm locked out. Come on, I can make any party more fun with my stupid jokes and charming personality. I'll just have to find something else to do, I can... crap, I have to go shit right now, later. Hope I make it to the can. Hope there's toilet paper on the roll cause I'm not stopping at the closet.

No Invite

So I was not invited to the Monreal wedding reception. I spend $600 a month up there and make nice with the fag husband to be. I live two houses down and you don't (probably) don't want me to meet to meet your neice (who is way hot, and so is her mom). I'm upset just a little. If anyone can get me an invite I'll owe them my soul. Peace.

Wednesday, July 19, 2006

Day One Of Serious Construction

Today I turned the 1,000 lbs of cement into concrete, posts are securely in place for the deck. Attached the ledger to the house so the foundation is set, tomorrow the heavy building begins, hopefully without a snag. Having a day (or three) off of work is nice but when you're busting your ass for 10 hours it gets a little rough, not exactly sitting on the beach in Cancun. I have $1,000 worth of wood sitting on my back yard, hopefully after tomorrow there will only be $500 worth sitting and the rest will be constructed. Euw, I can smell myself, I can hear the shower calling me. Or is it saying "Get the hell away from me you dirty bastard!"?

So, the neighbors are getting married on Thursday, closing down my watering hole so all their friends and family can drink and be marry, fuckers. What the hell am I supposed to do, pick my ass? I'll have to pick up a 12 pack or something, sit in the back yard under my tree since I have no where else to sit. I desperately need to get in to the reception, saw what I'm guessing is his/her neice today. Damn cute, no idea on the age, but I was outside working and she was walking to the restaurant, I was sweaty and all with the shirt off and noticed her looking back a couple times. Hmmm... If only she could see me in a bikini. Maybe that wouldn't turn most women on, but I guess it shows I'm open to new things? Or just a freaking cross dresser. Any comments from the women on this? Well, I have to go and have a pitcher or two (or three or four, maybe five). Ya'll peace out and pray this rain passes over.

Monday, July 17, 2006

Looking For China Men (Or Asian Women)

Finished up digging the 4ft deep holes tonight, holy crap. Sunday it was 93, today it got up to 96, I don't think I've ever sweat this much in two days. I started downing 4 32oz glasses of water at 1:00 in anticipation of the heat, had another 4 44oz glasses while actually doing all the work, and I still feel one beer would make me shrivel up like a raisin. I guess jogging and lifting weights doesn't prepare you for manual labor in the hot sun. My accounting hands are now 3 shades of color: white (dead skin waiting to fall off), red (irritated skin that's going to turn white), and the usuall tan color (but only on the backs of my hands). This freaking deck better turn out well. Dropped $1,000 today at the lumber shop, and that doesn't include the railings, just the main deck and supports. Or the cement for the posts, how could I leave that off the list? Duh. So I'm sitting on my patio wallowing in self pity not only for how shitty I feel right now, but also for the chaos that is my back yard and the crap load of work that's left to do. Still hoping I dug deep enough and some China men will crawl through at night and finish up the job for me. Can you hear me down there? So that is my week, no social life, no beer, and very few cigarettes. I think I might die if I tried to live my normal life style right now. Just me and the 44oz glass of water which I can't seem to keep ice in. Oh, and the drunk guy who just tried to take out the curb, that will look nice in the morning. Sober and a little uncreative, sorry. Can't say it's a bad change though.

Saturday, July 15, 2006

Dating/Hanging Out With An Alcoholic

So how is it that people like hanging out with me? I'm always drinking and being an ass, why put up with me? Saturday I get totally confused with Friday, doing the same damn thing sitting at the pool and getting wings at the bar (why do people drive me to the bar to get wings, am I that entertaining?). I do my part and pay for everything, I'm nice like that. Can't type anymore, gotta go, have a good night all.

Friday, July 14, 2006

Friday again

So, as I'm sitting by the pool by myself (p star is doing work), I did some thinking time. Most recent one was why does taking a shit take so much work? You're getting rid of some awefully foul waste and you need effort to do this. Shouldn't it just come naturally that your body wants to gid rid of this shit (ha, ha)? Why do you have to grunt and groan (you should see my food intake, not that I'm fat, but it's not good) to get the waste out of your body? You would think your body would be happy to rid itself of last night's 2,000 calories of beer, let alone the shots that are eating your stomach out. So you flip the valve, shit comes out and it's done. But that's not the case. You have to give birth to free yourself from last night's debauchrism. That's not spelled right but I'm an accountant, fuck off. Another thought was why we're planning a vacation. We're would be an ex girlfriend and the current best friend. Odd that we can sit out at the pool/bar and talk about anything non stop, even past dates I've had in hick ville. Funny thing is I would actually look forward to a vacation with them, a little weekend getaway. Oh, gotta go, going to a different bar for a change, leaving the Jeep at the apartment complex, I hope my baby's ok. You all take care and have a good night. If I get back online tonight it won't be pretty, having troubles typing right now at 8:30. Peace.

Half A Friday

Felt like crap when I woke up this morning, called in sick and slept till 2:00, hence the half a Friday. Went to the parents house to print off the deck plans, raced over to the building permit place and got there with 5 minutes to spare, got all the paper work signed, start digging holes on Sunday (great fun). What is with people driving on Friday afternoons? Holy crap, slower than hell. I'm usually a calm driver but today I had enough, tank getting on E and I didn't give a fuck, tromping on the gas with every green light. Jamming to Offspring and their heavy fast beats. I tend to think I'm a sexy driver when I'm thumping the side of the car to the beat, at least married chic in the Mazda must have thought so...

So now it's the afternoon, currently at the p star's apartment since I'd be bored out of my mind otherwise. Desperately trying to think of something to write since I got a comment today that my blog should not include so many photos (sorry, sheesh). F you, I can post whatever I want, it's my blog, if you don't like it don't read it! Ha, I'm not that mean. It's like 85 degrees outside, nice and sunny. Had to put the air on last night for the first time, took forever to cool off the house. We were watching A Walk To Remember, good movie but I hate it when people die in movies. Little sad. Parents are out of town so I have to find peeps who have food in the house. Or go to the corner bar for the fabulous chicken wings. Looking forward to the two day work week next week, not looking forward to shelling out $1,000 for wood for the deck, or the actual labor it's going to take, or the non drinking/smoking when dad is there. Or the random peeps who will be swinging by observing the mess we're creating (Gary better stay away!). I just hope it goes well. I don't think it will but I have my mind set to just go with the flow and not get upset, just handle the good with the bad. Won't get upset with dad, I'm just thankful that he took off from work to help me (or me helping him as it will turn out). Little bonding time since I refuse to go fishing with him (hate fishing). Now it's time to go to the pool, very allergic to something in p star's apartment so I have to go to the pool now. Sorry if this was boring but my brain is not working yet, only been up for 4 hours and since I've slept for 14 of the past 18 hours I haven't experienced anything remarkable to write about. Till next time, peace out.

Poor Guy Outside My Office

Those parking checkers were out on the prowl again.

Thursday, July 13, 2006

My Dick, Er Deck

Two years of engineering at Marquette paid off (finally).

Wednesday, July 12, 2006

Even Have The Touch While Driving

Went to the chiro again today for the shoulder/back, what gives, I've been gentle to it lately (been using left hand to whack off) and it's still giving me shit. On the way home, cruising through downtown, checking out chics/women in sexy business attire (thank goodness I don't have to work with some of them, wouldn't get a damn thing done), trying to pay attention to the road (gets really bad when the Marquette students get back), get back on the way home and hit a red light. Checked out the woman driving next to me, actually looked twice, I think she noticed the second one. Nice Mazda to go along with the nice ring on her finger. Driving along, somehow I get in front of her. Traffic was pretty light and I'm going a little fast and changing lanes (usually don't do that if it's busy, just sit back and take it up the ass). She is right behind me on every one. Get to another red light, still behind me, so I look into the rearview mirror (women might not know what that is) and give a little wave. She smiles and waves back. The whole 6 miles back to my house she follows me till we get to my street. I'm in the left hand turn lane looking right to get one last glimpse and what do I see, her doing the same damn thing. Just nice to know that even older women with nice rocks on their fingers find something in me.

So we were taking some photos at the pool over the weekend, 14 beers into it I tried on Mahogany's swim top. I think I fill it out pretty well. If she has DD's, what does that make me? I'm not sure if I had the head cut off to remain somewhat anomynous or just to keep the dorky smile from being published.

So Much For Going Four Days

So last night I broke the four day vow, went up to the corner. I initially went there to hop on their internet, it was rainy outside and there wasn’t a dry place to sit. After two hours of drinking water and reading the deck building book (start next week!) I was ready. Two hours of sleep the night before (not that I stayed up late, really), at work at 7:00, long day, I figured I was due a good nights sleep. And that I got. 7:30 to 9:30 water, 9:30 to 11:00 3 pitchers, 11:00 to 12:00 3 16 ouncers and 5 shots of So Co (bar dice were good to me), and 12:00 to 7:30 was zonked out time, greatly needed it. I’m not sure if I feel better in the morning after a good night’s sleep after drinking or sleeping like shit without alcohol, toss up. But I knew I needed the sleep, I think that was the deciding factor. I’ll do my best to be a good boy till Friday. A friend of mine sent NYC chic an email, I was surprised at how many good qualities she gave me (didn’t think I had that many). I think I posted a comment to her site too, hope I’m not a stalker now or something creepy like that (I’m a nice guy, I hope).

One topic that came up last night was money. Most people have the piggy bank and save their change, I have this weird habit of saving every $1 bill I get. I have a stack of $1’s at home and I can usually control myself and not touch them. Yeah, the financial adviser would yell at me and tell me to invest it, I guess if they were in a money market account they’d earn $50 a year, but I have a bad habit of dipping in to the money market account, spending $100 in singles is a little tougher. Way too easy to go to the ATM and pull out $500 and go to the casino, but going to the casino with $500 in one dollar bills would get me an evil look from the cashier (it’s bad enough with all $20’s). The ATM brings up another topic; since I have been known to go to the casino in the past and pull out cash from there, I no longer keep any large amount of money readily available. I’ve done way too many stupid things with money on numerous drunken weekends. That said, I am the poorest financially stable person in the world. Pull out $200 on Friday, get gas, carton of cigarettes, 30 pack of beer, $10 bottle of vodka, lemonade, and I’m broke by Wednesday. And I purposely pay extra on the house, send the financial advisor money, dole out everything I can just to get the available balance down as low as possible. I’ve even given Pops $500 in the past just to hold on to for two weeks; I know asking him for it back would be embarrassing so it’s safe there. All these little tactics just to keep myself happy, kind of like lifting weights, if I don’t go I feel like crap, if I blow my wad (cash) I get depressed. I think I need to see a therapist for the drinking/sleeping thing. Not that I want to quit drinking, but I would like to sleep a little better.

Tuesday, July 11, 2006

Tuesday Crab Ass

With the crappy night’s sleep (in bed at 12:00, asleep at 2:30, saw the clock again at 4:30, tossed till 6:30) I’m in a crappy mood. So here’s what was going through my head last night. Why the hell do the cars/trucks with the noisiest exhausts have to drive by my house at 1 or 2 o’clock in the morning? Have they been reading my blog and know I’m going to have a hard time sleeping? Are the sleep gods sending text messages to these people suggesting they gun the gas when they drive by instead of actually slowing down for the stop light? Do people put signs out at night, semis please use alternate route down this street, B’s trying to sleep? I’d close my window but I’ve heard stories of people dying from nocturnal emissions, I think I’d be a prime candidate for that (I’m sure that will win the women over). Then there’s the flight for life helicopter making trips to the local hospital. Well, usually it’s making trips, last night it was hovering over my house. You’d think the helicopter fuel would be too expensive to sit and hover, overlooking the area. Or was it circling like a vulture, waiting for me to gasp my last breath and swoop in? Sorry fellas, not tonight, I have a meeting in the morning. I’ll let you know when the timing is more convenient. Till then I’ll keep you on speed dial. And next time you fly by can you get a little altitude? Is it necessary to skim the tree tops right outside my window? I have the flares and speed dial ready, you won’t miss me. If the flare comes too close to you I’m sorry, unless you’re doing the low altitude hover again, then it’s a toss up as to what my intentions are, you never know what’s going through a sleep deprived brain at 2:00 in the morning. I figure the next step is to further injure my back/shoulder and end up in the hospital, have one of those cute nurses bring me drugs every four hours and keep me sleeping like a baby. Last time I was in was for knee surgery, had this really hot nurse, dark skinned, funky accent, total cutie. And of course my mom was in the room when she offered to bathe me. Of all the times to visit. I had to respectfully decline, but you better believe I thought about it for the next couple days. Should have just kicked mom out and gotten my moneys worth.

Monday, July 10, 2006

Monday Emotional Rollercoaster

So today is day #1 of not giong up to the bar, or not drinking period. Watching that movie yesterday scared me, they tried to cut back on the vodka and started getting the shakes and sweats. I've only been a true professional for a year and a half, don't think I'll have any problems going till Friday. Funny thing is I have 40 cans of beer in the fridge and an inch of vodka left sitting on the counter, no urge to even tap a little out. We'll see if it's different on Thursday! Went jogging after work, I feel like I'm walking around like Hulk Hogan or Herman Munster, please don't tell me I'm getting old. Watched a little of Hogan Knows Best today, his daughter signed a $1.3 million recording contract with Scott Scorche (probably spelled that wrong). Got a $200,000 advance check on the spot. If only I were a 6 ft tall blonde who could sing (got the height part down, just have to grow some breasts and test out my skills at karaoke). One of Shannon's comments on her blog was something to the fact of if this guy really wants to talk to me how come he's so shy with the emails. I'd never sent her one so today I did, lamest piece of shit I've ever written, but what do you say to someone who you kind of know from her blog but have never met her in person? She replied, she was a little skeptical about why I want to get to know her, I don't blame her. I was thinking a couple referral letters from a couple ex girlfriends might help, if anyone's going to bad mouth me you'd think it would be one of them, but I don't think that would be the case. No matter how badly my relationships end we usually end up staying friends, or at least aquaintances.

Sorry if this isn't that entertaining, I had a friend come over tonight to help in my quest to keep occupied. She brought over the movie The Notebook. Holy crap, I haven't balled my eyes out like that in years, just a tad bit emotional. Not to the point where I was sobbing or anything, but to the point where wiping off the tears was only a temporary fix, new ones just kept on coming like a streaming waterfall. Can't believe I'm letting everyone in on this. What a nice love story, but if that were me in real life, I'd be a total wreck. After coming to tears with A Love Song for Bobby on Sunday, this tonight, and she's bringing A Walk To Remember tomorrow, I'm going to have to stock up on Gatorade just to stay hydrated. So it's 11:30, sitting outside on the computer, after watching that movie my emotions are way out of whack, between that and the fact I didn't drink anything tonight is going to make sleeping very difficult. I have to be at work a little after 7:00 tomorrow so hopefully I can get some sleep. With that said, to all of you who have found that one person in your life that makes you want to build them a dream house, I envy you. To all who have found that person and lost them, I feel your pain and wish you only the best. Can't believe I'm starting to tear up right now. Good night.

Love Song for Bobby

So I saw a really disturbing movie over the weekend, Love Song for Bobby, I wouldn’t have even watched it but I saw John Travolta and Scarlett Johansson were in it. I won’t get into the whole plot of the movie and all, I’m not a movie reviewer (heck, I can hardly write, I work with numbers all day). The disturbing part was how much John Travolta and his roommate/friend drank every day. His roommate would walk into Bobby’s bedroom around noon to wake him up with a glass of vodka in hand. They were irritated when there wasn’t any orange juice in the fridge to mix with their breakfast drink. Out of the 2 hour long movie I’m guessing a good 1 hour had alcoholic beverages on the screen, whether it be the vodka or beer or Jack. Their homeless friends were always sitting out singing songs to the guitar and (or course) drinking beer. Don’t ask me how they paid for any of the alcohol, there weren’t too many people in the movie who had jobs. No car either, they would walk what seemed like forever just to go to town. Every day they would drink, smoke, and philosophize about anything and everything. Being an ex English professor Bobby was always quoting some author or another. His friend was writing a book about Bobby’s life, he would write and then shred it and/or burn the pages. And I must admit I did shed a tear on numerous occasions, thankfully nobody was there to see it. But then again I usually get a little emotional while watching movies, I’ll admit I cried during Armageddon when Bruce Willis pushed Ben Affleck into the elevator and stayed on the meteor to blow it up. Scarlett was pretty easy on the eyes, too.

Sunday, July 09, 2006

Mad Props

Ok, I have mad props from people trying to get NYC chic to invite me over, oh that would be so sweet. Little weekend vacation filled with endless conversations, what could be better? Spent most of the weekend at the pool (ex's and friend), good times just talking shit. So, I'm actually actively trying to pursue this NYC thing, I think we'd have a fun time just sitting and talking, no sex required. You can never know too many people, correct? Anyway, thanks for the props, again, as Tom Cruise said, "I love black people!!!", but I really just love everyone, hope the friend I pissed off on Friday reads this because I love her too, even if I made a rude comment to her. Peace.

Saturday, July 08, 2006

1.75 L

I can't believe my cell phone still has life. I left the charger at work, and it's not like I get that many calls, people know where to find me, but it's still alive non the less. Do I need hyphens in that? Ok, so what is the proper term for a 1.75 L bottle of booze? I'm dying to know, telling people I polished off a "one point seven five liter of vodka" in two days is way too long to say. Not that I'm proud of that, obviously on Friday I pissed a friend off that I'm not proud of, I don't like making people mad at me, but it's been a cheap weekend so far, unlike the $200 weekend of the 4th, I'm skating thin on $40 so far. So please let me know, I hate long winded stories and I don't want to say "one point seven five liter of vodka" again. Love much.

And I'm sorry, but I just caught myself checking out the newly tanned arms that are sticking out of my tank top. Not that I'd wear a tank top out to a bar or anything, but sitting on the back patio admiring them is ok. I think. I'm not anal, am I? I figure I've worked for them.

Chic At The Pool

Before I get into the title, what's up with my neighborhood? First there's a 40ish woman (you know my love for older women) walking her dog. Nice little bubble butt, sports bra under her tshirt, looks at me, we both say hi, she walks a little and looks back again. Uh, can I make your evening a little more exciting? Then there's the 10 yr old kid walking down the street talking on his cell phone. Dude, you're 10, you really need a cell phone? And the hot woman accross the street from me with two kids, tight ass jeans today, looking pretty nice. I've never seen her up close but I bet I could make her evening more exciting, too. I'm bad, I know. Lastly is the millionare neighbors who must have their inground lawn sprinklers on a timer, first one side goes for 10 minutes, then the front, and I'm guessing then the back. Rich people suck. Woman accross the street just got into her car and drove off, glanced at me sitting on the patio, guess that's a start.

Ok, on to the real topic. Today I was at (oh this is going to sound weird) an ex girlfriend's apartment at which the current "friend" just moved in to. They are quickly becoming my best friends and I really enjoy hanging out with them (and they have a pool!). I couldn't stand the ex much before but she's been nothing but nice, I feel I owe her a lot for her friendship (and her beer and awesome chicken on the grill). We're all hanging out at the pool, gorgeous day, 80, sunny, just chillin' and talking smack while catching some rays. I'm making a couple trips to the clubhouse to get water for the friend who's kindly sharing her beverage with me (no beer, I had to drive home). Oh my gosh, the millionare has sprinklers watering the grass between the sidewalk and the street, gotta be shitting me, and it just started raining, how funny. Anyway, on two trips to the clubhouse there are these two girls sitting on the edge of the pool with their feet dangling in. All four occasions (trip there, trip back, trip there, trip back) one of them makes a point to crank her head around and look me in the eye. She was maybe 23, 25, damn cute and really hot. So where does that leave me? Oops, side bar, friend who works at the bar has his car in my driveway (I'm not driving tonight and he knows that), and with the rain I can see what a nice wax job I did on his car, beads up nicely (got 3 pitchers of beer for it, gave me something to do). Ok, chic checking me out, "friend" sitting 15 feet away, do I insult her and start talking to the hot pool side girl or just walk on by and write about it in my blog? Well, I'm writing about it so you already know I kept on walking. But the friend is more than just a friend, I'm not exactly sure where we stand, but we enjoy hanging out together. She knows I'm not really dating material (we'll see if I can do the non-drinking thing Mon-Thurs next week, that would be a step in the right direction). But she enjoys hanging out with me for who I am and our conversations could last forever. Oh, I think I hit on the chic in NY today, just so it's out in the open, I think the friend would be ok with that. So if I sit down and chat with the chic at the pool, do I come out and tell her all my defects (at the bar every damn day, soon to change hopefully, my inability to date someone for more than a month, my dislike of spending money on anything but beer and vodka and my new deck, which is looking a little bleak right now, how I'd rather rent a movie than go out to the movies, how I don't even have a VCR/DVD player because I never watch TV at home, oh my, this list could go on forever), or do I just leave that alone and have a pleasant conversation? I feel that having the pleasant conversation would be somewhat lying on my part, I can't rope a girl in with all my good qualities without telling her the bad, just isn't right. With the new friend, I pretty much laid it all out in the beginning, and she's still hanging out with me, must say something. I figure I saved the chic at the pool a month of her life and a little drama (I don't do drama, everything's peachy with me, except for the friend I pissed off last night, don't know how I'm going to fix that one, but I'll do my best, nobody hates me ever and I don't like it when someone isn't happy with me, and of course it's all my fault). So goes life, I have to think of something to do/say to the friend from last night, don't want to lose her friendship, she's good peeps. As Tom Cruise once said, "I love black people!!!", but I love everyone, even though it might not show all the time.

Coming Together And Apart

Friday night, had to make ammends with both the Roundy's, we all got together and had a good time. They were happy again and I was way too happy, one pitcher at the bar did me in after the coming together. Funny things happen when you don't drink for two days. But in my "coming out party" I somehow managed to anger one of my good friends. I tried to jokingly let her know that I had found her new blog address and had been reading it, but I guess the manner in which I told her wasn't too funny. The worst part was she was writing some stuff about her boyfriend, kind of personal, stuff I probably shouldn't know, so I think I angered both of them. They're both good friends and I see them 5 days a week at the corner bar, loosing their friendship would really suck. I imagine I'll get the evil looks for a while, that's quite understandable. But unfortunately I've hurt her much worse in the past and we're still friends, hopefully this will just be a speed bump in our relationship.

As for the weed carnage I had hoped to see this morning, not exactly what I was looking for. I wanted brown weeds, burning weeds, weeds that just disappeared, but no, that wasn't the case, they're just wilting like they were before. But as long as they're dying I guess I should be happy. Not quite as happy as the Roundy's reunion, but happy non the less. Peace out homies.

Friday, July 07, 2006

Bonehead Move Of The Day

I've got some horrible weeds growing in my freshly planted grass. These things looked viscous, I was almost scared of them. No way in hell did I think the $5 gallon of weed killer was going to kill them. So I let them grow with my depression growing along with them. Last night I decided to try the weed killer and to my surprise they were wilting today (had I done it sooner they wouldn't be wilting all over my new grass, bonehead move number 1). So I went to Walmart today after work, picked up the same brand of weed killer and brought it home. I was just going to combine the two into the bigger container when I noticed the new stuff was really dark in color. I looked at the bottle and guess what it said. Concentrate. Idiot, but then I started thinking, this bottle is pretty big, started reading the directions and I can add two teaspoons to a gallon of water. Sweet! I can make 40 gallons out of this stuff and it only cost $4. If it works as good as the first stuff I'll be set for the summer (I'm anal about weeds). Got peeps over so I gotta leave. Can't wait for the carnage in the morning.

Roundy's Vodka

Roundy’s Vodka, I’m sorry that I have neglected you for over a week now. We have enjoyed many a night chillin’ on the patio sharing our thoughts and comforting each other. You have been a good friend in times of need. On hot summer days you have quenched my thirst like no beer can. But I’m even more sorry that I have not been faithful. That’s right, I’ve been cheating on you and I feel awful. What makes it worse is that it’s a good friend of yours, Roundy’s Cranberry. I know, I know, how can I be so cruel as to come between you and one of your best friends. I’m sorry, really am. But Cranberry has given me insight that you normally cloud, a different perspective if you will. Cranberry has pointed me in a different direction, if only temporarily. I enjoy both of your company, whether it be the normal three some or individually, you both have endearing qualities. With that said, I hope you understand. We will get together in the near future.

Thursday, July 06, 2006

Another Night Of Sobriety (So Far)

Thursday night I’m going to be good again (or at least try to). No bar for me, no karaoke (puke). I can’t go running two days in a row, really don’t want to sit on the stationary bike in the basement (maybe if I had a tv down there), so I picked up some cleaning supplies from the store and plan on tackling my bathroom. I haven’t really cleaned the shower in 4 months so that is the evening project. Little Comet, couple scouring pads, little elbow grease and I should be looking at a spotless shower. But then again I am a guy, if it looks better than it does now I’ll be happy. At least it should keep me occupied. If I have time left over I hope to crack open the CPA study guide (oh, who am I kidding). All this brings me to a new question. Why am I torturing myself by staying away from the bar for these two days when I know Friday is right around the corner and I’ll be back to my usual ways? Am I really trying to punish myself for the 16 gallon beer weekend I had? Am I actually trying to help my body by taking two days off? Or am I testing myself to see if I can stay home on the week nights and maybe get something accomplished at home (besides writing these hopefully entertaining entries)? I’m not sure, guess only time will tell. To be honest with you, just getting these thoughts in my pea brain was hard enough. Especially when I have a drink chip sitting on my dresser that’s worth one free pitcher of beer. So say I went up to the corner, do you really think it would be a free night for me? Why hell no, I’d end up having the free one and three more, but then I would be sleeping well tonight (see how my brain twists things around, no matter how small it may be). I’m going to try to stick with the game plan for now, but if I sleep for shit again tonight I won’t be a happy camper.

No Beer, No Sleep

WHAT THE HELL?! Is this how normal people sleep? Get in bed at 11:30, toss and turn till 2:30, wake up at 5:30 and dose off an on till 8:00? What a bunch of crap. Just because I want to be a good boy for one evening and not have any alcohol, this is how I pay for it? Not to mention the funky ass dreams I was having in the 3 hours I was actually asleep. In one I was at a hotel conference for work, I was on the ground floor by the water cooler when I noticed there was water all over the floor. I figured I spilled it (I can be a klutz) and tried to clean it up when I saw a stream of water coming down from the ceiling. As I head for the door the whole ceiling bursts with water streaming from everywhere, I can barely see where I’m going. I race out the lobby door as thousands of gallons chase after me. For 30 minutes people limped out and surveyed the damages. The second dream, I was in the kindergarten room at my grade school. I’m my current age and I’m working on a project with classmates who I haven’t seen in over 10 years. And this project was stressful, we were all pulling our hairs out trying to complete a 50 page something or another, I don’t remember exactly what it was. This is weird because I rarely have dreams, usually just snore the night away in a comatose state. Almost got up at 1:00 to go to the bar for an hour, figured that might do the trick but I decided against that. So what the fuck do I do? I went for a 40 minute jog at 9:30 so I should have been tired by 11:00. And I was tired, just couldn’t get to sleep. Have I trained myself to pass out at 12:00 every night with my corner bar festivities? Anyone have any suggestions? Two days in a row of this and it’s definitely back to the beer.

Wednesday, July 05, 2006

Emotional (And Liver) Cleansing

Tonight I had to abstain from the usual schedule, couldn’t bring myself to partake in the evening festivities at the local bar, not after the weekend I just had. Somehow I went through $200 on $5 pitchers and $14 30 packs. Yes my friends, it was a rough weekend. I don’t know which was worse, the most fun moving day ever of Sunday or the start at 11:30 4th of July party. Sunday was 4 by 12:30, the friend who was moving drove me to a liquor store for a 6 pack, finished that while moving, had 6 more at her new apartment, and 8 while swimming in the apartment pool. 22 by 7:00. And then had 2.5 pitchers of beer at the local bar. Not sharing 2.5 pitchers, just me sucking them down. Tuesday I was at a party so I couldn’t be the quiet/boring me of Monday, made it a point to slop down all that I could. You’d think I’d be hurling my guts or spinning in bed but I can’t remember the last time I puked and I’m out like a light when I hit the pillow. Which brings me to Wednesday, ate dinner, took an hour nap while my clothes were in the washer, only thing that made me get up and not crash for the whole evening was the drying and folding of the clothes. I figured since I was up and I had horribly abused my body over the weekend that a jog was in order, forced myself to go farther than usual as punishment. I folded all my clothes while I was cooling off from the jog and now everything is in its proper place. The only dirty clothes I have are the ones I jogged in. I’m pretty proud. I think the bar is closed tomorrow so I might possibly have two consecutive days of not drinking, last time I did that was… like I can remember that. After a good night sleep tonight (hopefully, maybe not without alcohol in my system) I’ll be at the gym tomorrow morning and during lunch time, again beating myself up for the weekend. But the gym should be exciting, I’ll be checking out my pool tan in the mirrors, I should be pretty hot! Make your own decision on if I’m kidding on that one.

If you get a chance check our Shandoll’s blog (drunk and single in nyc link) from today, pretty funny yet disturbing shit as usual. She’s moving out of her NY apartment and has a realtor showing it to perspective tenants.

Weekend Of The 4th

Fourth of July weekend, where do I start? Spent most of the weekend sitting by the pool drinking beer, my forehead’s a little red today. Had some friends over on Monday for a cookout, they brought tons of stuff (burgers, chicken, potatoes) and I stuffed myself to the max. And this was after having 2 chicken breasts and corn on the cob 3 hours earlier. So we’re all at the Monday karaoke, bloated and just making it worse with the beer. But after the second pitcher we start to liven up. Someone busts out a camera and the night takes off. There were pictures with my head sandwiched between four boobs, my hand on another large set (they were all large, what’s up with that?), a woman’s face planted in my crotch while her boyfriend is bending her over from behind, it got a little wild. People were buying rounds of shots of 10 for everyone, that escalated the photo shoot to include bare breasts and kissing (no, not my bare breasts and unfortunately I wasn’t doing the kissing either). Someone mentions after party (my house) and I’m glad I have beer in the fridge. But by the end of the night everyone was too hammered to come over, probably a good thing since the 4th party started at noon. Monday I was pretty worn out from Sunday and was abstaining from beverages during the day. I’ve since been told that sober me is boring. So for the 4th party, I don’t want to be boring, I start the party going at noon with four quick beers on an empty stomach. Yeah, I can tell it’s going to be a good day. We get to the pool and it’s just three of us, and of course I’ve dated both of them. We’re telling funny stories about the past and present, the beer is flowing quickly (we didn’t have a cooler so I had to drink fast), we must have been a little loud since a girl and her mom moved a couple chairs away from us. A hot 40ish woman next to us asks if she can have a beer (what is it with hot 40ish women?), I talk to her just a bit. End up in the hot tub making out with the hot 40ish woman, no, I’m just kidding on that one, ha, ha. So it was a pretty decent four day weekend, I’ll try to clean out the cobwebs and see what else I can remember later.

Sunday, July 02, 2006

Saturday Night

Last night was good, worked the door at Kreepo's for the second time, nothing exciting (which is good), had the old ladies smiling and winking at me (oh boy). Old self came out just a bit and inquired to people in the know about two broads, both were at least 7 years older than me, but I was a good boy and didn't act on anything (I think I'm actually in a growing phase). Got off at 1:00, sat at the corner drinking free beer till who knows when, still a bit dazed from the Friday conversation (I was not very personable last night, people were asking me if I was ok, yeah, just thinking too much, I try not to do that too often). Manager at Kreepo's asked me about the hot date on Friday, man, word must travel fast. Had a couple peeps come over after close, stupid online poker site gave me $40 in free money, let a bud play it since I have no urge to play poker anymore (dude I suck and it's depressing when I get my ass kicked). So today I'm helping a friend move (in one hour), I hope she doesn't have too much shit. A past sleepover partner, and I'm helping her move with her ex husband who's a police officer, officers and I don't go well together, not that I don't like them but I'm usually in trouble when I see one. I don't think I'll mention anything about sleeping with his ex wife, especially if he's packing heat. Couple drunk peeps at the bar last night, I have another ex girl's car in my driveway, I'm not driving today so that's ok. But I should put something on her car, still debating what. Hopefully she comes to pick it up when I'm not home. If I had 35" tires on my Jeep like the college friend had I could put my back tires on her hood (Toyota Carolla, wouldn't be that hard). Friend's daughter is walking over to my house right now, had some funny ass pictures of her dad passed out with make up on and toes painted, way too funny. She told me to put on a shirt (just woke up, no shower, sitting outside with the laptop pirating the neighbors wireless signal), I told her don't be jealous that my boobs are bigger than hers. Friendly banter, she's young but is getting to know my bad sense of humor. Hopefully she emails me the pics, I'll certainly post them on here. His daughters are quickly becoming my friends, almost like I have two more sisters, good girls, just a little misdirected. Made arrangements to work out with one of the bartenders on Monday, he's pretty ripped and I'd like to know what his workout consists of, I'm always looking to learn new things (that interest me, CPA book is still sitting on the living room table untouched). Since I'm not working on Monday I'm not going to make the drive downtown to the gym so meeting up with him will be good. That's about it for now, I'm sure I'll think of more while I'm moving someone else's crap and will be back online tonight. Oh, I think I drunk texted the college friend last night, checked this morning and yes I did, something to the fact that she shouldn't read the blog and that I mentioned us in it (in other words please read the blog and let me know what you think). Hope I don't screw this one up. Peace out homies.

Saturday, July 01, 2006

The Friendly Chat

Had a friend over on Friday, I cooked chicken legs on the grill (I'm sure that doesn't surprise anyone). We mostly chat about work and relationships, cars, pretty much anything. I'm surprised she came back for the second visit after all the stories I told her the first time she stopped over. Yeah, you know me, I don't sugar coat any of my stories to make them sound better, just the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. Conversation's going well as usual, the point comes up that it's odd that we can chat the hours away like best friends even though we really don't know much about the other since graduation. We gravitate up to the corner bar, take the long way (little exercise), and plop ourselves down at the same table we were at the last time. The conversation continues till 1:00 am (yes, that'd be 7 hours of constant chatter). Ok, maybe not constant chatter, my mind goes blank a couple of times when she looks at me (very cute, the eyes get me). We're talking mostly about bad relationships we've had and how to avoid them in the future. For the first time in a very very long time I realize that my dating (if you can call it that) is not as good as I thought it was. I used to think having my name on the wall at the bar was cool, but if you really think about why that rule is up there it's not all that cool. Telling stories about my bad relationships/encounters is a little scary both because of the bad situations and number of stories I have to tell. She told me a story about how she found out that a guy she was dating was having sex with 5 other women besides her. Ok, I'll admit, first thought that crossed my mind was pimp, but then I started thinking, the way I'm going, I really don't want to end up being that guy. That guy having what amounts to meaningless sex with a number of women, and that's pretty much what I've been doing for the past year. As the night goes on I start to wonder why I suddenly feel this way. I think it might be because I'm starting to get some feelings for the friend that I really haven't had for anyone in a very long time. We kissed at the end of the night (first time ever) and I was floored. I felt like I was in highschool kissing a girl for the first time. Maybe it was the beer getting to my head but it was the most passionate kiss ever. I would take kissing her over having sex with any of the past dates in a heart beat. And of course I'd have a really tough time trying to explain to her the feelings that I have for her because I haven't had those feelings for quite some time, I'm having a hard time explaining them to myself. So here I am, in uncharted territory, and I don't know what the hell to do. For now I'll just hope and pray that I get to kiss her again soon.

Becoming A Dirty Old Man

On Friday I was walking back from the mall, nice sunny day, little breezy, the Chase bank sign said 75 degrees. I noticed there was a woman sitting in the park on a picnic table accross the street She had a pair of those trendy (ugly) sunglasses that cover up half your face so I had no idea how old she was. On the second glance I see that she's sitting with her legs crossed and the wind is tossing her skirt around. Ok, I guess you can't really call them glances because by now my eyes are glued on her. I get to the point where I'm directly accross the street from her, check the traffic (thankfully none), and proceed to cross the street mid block. Great view, wind is still doing it's job, I'm catching a lot (lot) of leg and upper thigh. And then she notices me. I pretend to check my watch, glance back at her and she's still looking at me. I check traffic (I know there isn't any), glance back at her and she's still looking at me. So now what do I do? The thought crosses my mind to just walk up to her and say hi. But then again she knows I just crossed the street mid block to check her out. Is she thinking what kind of a dirty old man I am for pulling a stunt like that? Or not, she wasn't doing anything to prevent the skirt from flying up. The world may never know the answer, of course my pussy ass kept on walking back to work. The thought pops in my head that I need to buy a camera to record incidents like this, but does that even further entrench me in the dirty old man class? Proud to be one of the youngest dirty old men in the world.