Tuesday, June 28, 2011


I've had issues with my neighbors lately, mainly their loud music and pot smoking. So I decided I might be able to fight back, certainly not on the illegal drug use side of it.

I had the Renter pick up an RCA cabel for $5 online, good price assuming it would have cost me at least $4 at Radio Shack.

But in my vacation mode, which means drinking at 1:00 every day, when I asked her for help I wasn't much help. I needed to move the receiver in order t get the 1999 200-disk CD player in the entertainment cabinet, which was a tight squeeze. After getting yelled at and loosing my helper I managed to wedge everything in, ugly as it was.

I'll have to re-route all the wires tomorrow.

But the first random CD that came on was Stevie Ray, classic shit. I turned it up, the guitar stroking at my heart. I knew it was a little loud but hey, first time testing out the stereo and the two 10" subs weren't even turned on.

I'll have to ask the nice neighbor if he'll be around tomorrow, possibly re-route the wires and turn the subs on. That would be six 10" subs, 2 independantly powered, echowing in my basement.

Let's just say REM shakes the house. Ice Cube's "Check Yo Self" might get to the foundation.

Monday, June 27, 2011

10 Days Off

This, my friends, is how I prepare for ten straight days off from work. Seven 30-packs on the floor, two more in the fridge, and ten pounds of ribs (on sale for $1.99/lb). I'm sure I'll be beered and porked out when it's all said and done. At least this week it's supposed to be 80 and sunny. Can't ask for much better weather in Wisconsin.

Thursday, June 23, 2011

Dan Gilbert Owes Me 9.5 Minutes Of My Life Back

The NBA Lottery was May 17th. With over a month to interview and work out all the draft prospects, Dan Gilbert and the Cavs management made me wait nine and a half minutes to find out who they were going to select with the number one overall pick. Assholes.

The invoice for my time is in the mail.

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Dumpster Diving

I had a chicken burrito at work today. I'm always carefull with the garbage, putting the tray food side up in the garbage so the cleaning lady doesn't have to change the bag.

A co-worker swung by during lunch.

"So what do you do during lunch since you don't go anywhere?"

"I catch up on stuff, nothing major."

"Is that my time off request?", looking at a page on my desk.

"Yep." As I crushed the paper and threw it in the garbage.

"Don't you need that?"

Pulling it out of the garbage, with a hunk of chickenattached from the burrito, "No, I record the hours off your timesheet, not this," as I ate the piece of chicken that was stuck tot the sheet.

The co-worker freaked out, much to my pleasure. She left my office shortly thereafter.

Mission accomplished.

Monday, June 20, 2011

2nd "Outdoor Man Cave" Comment

Some guy riding his bike with his dog practically fell off his bike as he stopped on the sidewalk.

"I don't mean to creep you out or anything but that's pretty sweet! What's the score?"

"8 to 1, not looking good."

"Again, that's pretty slick. Take care."

I think I'm giving the Heinecken guy a run for his money.

Love The Setup

9:00 on Monday I was getting a little hungry. I had a sandwich at work at 4:00 but after lifting weights and eight beers I had to make a trip to the gas station for a pizza.

After pre-heating the oven and putting the pizza in I stepped outside to find a guy in a minivan on the street eyeing up my house.

"I like the setup."

Yeah bitches, I know how to roll.

If only I could get rid of my renting neighbors who are loud and obnoxious. The Renter is on their case, calling the authorities and the property owner. The owner is 83 so I'd hope, dark as it may sound, that the house might be put up for sale eventually.

Only time will tell.

Budget Analysis

I was looking at my budget spreadsheet and what bills were going to be paid from my 6/24 paycheck. Analyzing the budget, if you will. More like anal-yzing; I have every bill scheduled till the end of 2013. I'm pretty anal when it comes to money. Probably the reason why salesmen drool over my credit rating when I apply for those 0% finance deals at retail stores (which I also keep at good amount of attention on in order to avoid any finance charges). But looking at my 6/24 paycheck, I noticed there were two payments listed for the exact amount, $524. I dug around on all my credit card websites and sure enough, I had listed the same payment twice. Grinning ear to ear I deleted the one, swapped $100 over to the "spend" line and moved the rest to the "savings" line. That $100 will come in handy as I have the week off and will most certainly start drinking at 1:00 every day.

Sunday, June 12, 2011

Thursday, June 09, 2011

Throw Him The Heater!

I have a friend who's not 100% there mentally. He's a good person and I'd do pretty much anything for him as he would for me. But he has his antics. If he has six beers in him he gets a little loose. Watching sports with him takes patience.

He'll get confused with who scores during football games. Third and long might actually be first down.

But the Brewers, that's a different story.

My friend has a strong opinion about the Brewers. Chants of "Go Brew Crew!" and "Come on, Fielder!" echo in my back yard.

But the best is when the Brewer's closer is on the mound. "Throw him the heater!" is the standard call.

I had two friends over on Wednesday. The Brewers were tied in the ninth inning. We joked about my friend yelling the heater pitch request.

I took the puppy out. I got a phone call when I was outside, in the middle of picking up poop.

The voicemail: Throw him the heater!

We all got on our phones to send him a text. I asked all ten of my friends to send him a text, refferencing the heater. The end result: his phone blew up with texts. And the Brewers won.

I'll pick him up a 30-pack of High Life this weekend.

Friday, June 03, 2011

Happy Hour! Happy Hour!

Appearantly my "happy hour, happy hour" chant translates to "drive straight home" in Korean. Home? It's always happy hour there! Sheesh.