Thursday, September 30, 2010

Snooki Roll

Chick should start hawking doughnuts for Hostess or something.

Thursday, September 23, 2010

Vincent Jackson, Unethical.

"My agents and teams interested did everything to make it happen, but this organization stopped it. It feels unethical and I am disappointed."

Why not play out your contract, wouldn't that be ethical? WRs are such divas.

Monday, September 20, 2010

9/18, 19 Hour Day

For some odd reason I couldn't sleep for shit on Friday night. I was wide awake at 4:00 am. My friend Turner was sleeping on my couch and knowing that he usually wakes up at the crack of ass I let the puppy jump all over him. Oops, sorry Turner, but mission accomplished. I promptly opened my first beer much to the amazement of my friend.

We hit a place for breakfast and afterwards Turner went in to work. I stayed up playing online poker till the Badgers game started.

Somewhere in there the Renter took me to get a new toilet but exactly what time that happened I'm not sure.

Another friend came over and installed the toilet. My old one was giving me shit for months so I was more than happy to get the new one working (although it is rather tall, not sure if the Renter's feet reach the floor).

Later in the evening our group hit a neighborhood bar and stayed till it got too busy. We picked up "Hurt Locker" and stayed up till 11:00. There was no way I was going to last any longer.

Wish I would have kept track of how many beers I had. A "conservative" number for me would be two an hour but that's being really conservative. I don't think I could even limit myself to two an hour. Had to have been over 40.

Awesome day by anyone's standards.

Saturday, September 18, 2010

Too Much of a Good Thing


I was sick on Thursday. Not having a spleen I typically catch whatever is going around before everyone else.

On my day off I:

Played free poker online for five hours.

Rolled my ball sack between my thumb and forefunger till it hurt.

If that turns you on, please email me.

Land Rover Ad


"Buy a car, or buy a Land Rover."

Seriously, that's your ad? How about "Buy a Land Rover, or buy a house."

I buy 30 packs of beer for $12.49, my tires on my Jeep stick out past my fenders, and I have no problem putting rubber on the fender of a Land Rover. Bring it.

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Some Jeans

This has to be the "loosest" definition of "some jeans" ever.

Sunday, September 12, 2010

Aftermath

Free beer is indeed free beer, and if you partake in it you both pass out at 3:00 and miss the afternoon game (Packers game for me).

Life.

Is.

Grand.

Free Beer

Sunday, about 12:15, and since the Packers don't play till 3:15 I somehow managed to get the Renter to take me to a dive bar that was advertising free beer from 1-3. Sounds too good to be true. But hey, free beer? Worth checking out.

I did my chores for the day, mowed the lawn, washed/waxed the car, munched on the poon - yeah right.

12:15 am and I'm posting this shit? Must still be fucked up from Saturday.

Friday, September 10, 2010

Snot in Here!

The Renter and I now work at the same place (fuck) and carpool to work together (double fuck). Talk about seeing to much of a person, man. We alternate days driving, typically I'll do Monday and Wednesday and she does Tuesday and Thursday with alternating Fridays depending on who drove the previous Friday. When she drives I prefer to close my eyes as it gets a little scary. When I drive I purposely do shit to make her grab for the oh shit handles. At least I do it on purpose.

I drove this Friday. Three blocks from home I sneezed. It was a big one. I had snot all over my hands and even hanging out my nose. I don't have tissues or anything in my car so I just kind of sat there and looked at the Renter. She looked at me and scooted over a couple inches with a disgusted look. Me, I started laughing. I knew what was coming next.

I started to lick my palms. The Renter put her hand over her mouth. I made a little choking sound. The Renter wrenched and turned away. I made a lip smacking noise. The Renter puked out the window leaving streaks down the side of my car.

What the fuck?

Snot in my car. I made her walk the rest of the way.

Thursday, September 09, 2010

Charles Woodson Extension

The Packers will have Woodson for five more years. Then we'll have a 38-year-old corner back. THAT sounds really appealing. Who's he going to cover, a 38-year-old Randy Moss? A 41-year-old T.O.? Rediculous.

Wednesday, September 01, 2010

FA's Message - :O

Me: Dude, is that you blowing me?

FA: He, he, lol!

I wonder about him sometimes.