Friday, December 23, 2011

11 Days Off

I have 11 days off for the hollidays.  I'll probably end up going in one day just to keep my agency running, but that's why they pay me the big bucks (1% raises the last four years).  But, on my first day off, I celebrated watching the Dan Patrick show at 8:00 am with a bottle of Fat Tire.  The start of a great vacation.

Sunday, December 18, 2011

8:30pm, Sunday Night

Either I pissed off all my peeps or they're all drunk and in bed
 50/50 on that.

Saturday, December 17, 2011

The Most Endearing Compliment

The Renter:  I don't know what it is, but when he's on vacation mode he goes hardcore from 11:00 am to 11:00 pm.  It's like he flips a switch and drinks all day and he's able to hang like a champ.

We have a little getaway planned to the Wisconsin Dells.  There's a resort that offers two nights for two people for $100 a night.  Oh, and all the food and booze is included.  I intend to take full advantage of their offer.  I wouldn't be surprised if they ask me to never come back.

Thursday, December 08, 2011

48 hr Flu

On Monday I had a couple pichers after work.  No big deal, nothing to get me woozy or anything.  After I got home I had another four beers andwent to bed at 9:30.

1:30 am I felt a controversy brewing in my stomach that I hadn't felt in years.  I got up and hugged the toilet that I have rectolly defiled many times but cleaned much fewer.  I hurled what few contents I had in my stomach with gutwrenching force.

Even worse at 3:30 with even fewer contents left to dispose.

I managed to stay home from work on Tuesday to recouperate, getting up every hour to flush my bowels.

I made it to work on Wednesday and didn't even have to use the spare pants/underware that I brought.  I was pooped by the end of the day, but I hadn't soiled my shorts.

I finally got hungry Wednesday night and went to the gas station for a pre-packaged hame sandwich.  Very over priced put I don't have food in my house.

That night was almost worse than the puking night.  I tossed and turned all night, looking at the clock every 15 minutes.  I don't know if I actually slept enough to have dreams but I had images of watching the running of the bulls and the Rose Bowl from a pool at Penn State with two women playing with my penis (I know, shrinkage!).  In the morning I dug through the garbage and read all the preservatives that were in that sandwich.  I got no sleep at all, but...

If that stupid sandwich gave me those dreams I might be up for a second round.