Monday, April 27, 2009
"You've got to come up with creative solutions these days," said club manager Stefan, who requested his surname not be published. "We're feeling the economic crisis, too, even though business has fortunately been more or less okay for us so far.
"Our offer might sound like it's too good to be true, but it's real. You can eat as much as you want, drink as much as you want and have as much sex as you want."
I hope they serve chicken wings. That's one trip I'm definately going to come home fat and happy from.
Friday, April 24, 2009
Thursday, April 23, 2009
College hoops was rescued from a long talent drain when in 2005 the NBA enacted an age limit that prohibited American players, but not foreigners, from entering the draft until one year after their high school class graduated.
That has led to a push of young stars in college basketball for one year, even if their commitment to being a "student-athlete" is often dubious. To be eligible for a season, a kid needs to earn just two D's in the fall semester. He can fail, or not even show up for, every other class his freshman year and drop out immediately after the season.
I'd like to see Michael Beasly's and Kevin Durrant's report cards for their second (and last) semester in college.
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Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Monday, April 20, 2009
"Sir, I was drunk and flipped my truck over in 2001."
"Do you consider that you have a drinking problem?"
"Yes Sir, I'm a recovering alcoholic."
"For how long?"
As I look at my watch, "Oh, about ten hours."
"Juror #25, you're dismissed."
I think that's happened to me too because I can't believe it was actually me shitting myself all those times.
Friday, April 17, 2009
"As much as I'd love to squeeze in there with all you lovely ladies, I'm a bit claustrophobic so I'll just wait for the next one."
They all giggled and smiled as the doors closed. Afterward I kicked myself for passing up free titty rubs over the course of nine flights in the jostling elevator.
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
I’ve learned that when women say they are going to return something at the mall it really means they are going to return an item, exchange an item for a different size, and browse the entire store.
The Saturday before my birthday I had a list of things to do. I wanted to buy some weights, pick up a new TV and go to Walmart before the Final Four games started. I wanted to hit G’s bar for the games and his awesome chicken wings. Well, I was still feeling a bit out of it from the previous night (not hungover but still intoxicated). I decided on not getting the weights (who wants to carry 90lb dumbbells when they’re drunk?) and really wasn’t in the mood for Colder’s and the TV (I hate salespeople). The Renter drove out to the mall and I sat at the mall bar while she did her thing. Now I know Lane Bryant is a big store but who can spend an hour in there? By the time she got done I was getting a little buzzed up (had won a couple hundred at the casino so I had no problem paying $3 a glass for some nice tasty amber beer). To my surprise she was pissed at me. “My feet hurt. I’ve been walking around all over for the past hour. I’m not going anywhere till you go and get the car.” Like I’m gonna drive. Why she didn’t wear tennis shoes I have no idea. Eventually she got over whatever it was and we hit G’s bar. Just before the game started the FA showed up. A little while later the old roommate arrived. Then Mr. Fudd and his girlfriend. Then Shaky D. Then the Pollack. The Renter had gone in my phone and gotten numbers for all my friends and invited them over for a little birthday get-together. Then I understood why she was mad at me for not doing the other errands: I was getting pretty loopy by halftime of the first game. Birthday shots didn’t help anything either. All in all a good day though.
I actually shit my pants that day trying to fart. You’d think I would have grown out of that by now.
I got scolded by the corner bar’s manager for not having a birthday party that I didn’t know about at her bar.
I eventually did end up getting a 37” TV from Walmart for the outside window facing the deck. It fills up the window frame perfectly. Now if only the weather would cooperate and warm up so I could sit out there.
I paid the Renter $300 for her $500 credit at Colder’s (appliance, furniture, TV store). I sucked it up one night after work and picked up a 22” TV for my bedroom. Now I feel like a glutton. I have the 61” in the living room, the 37” for the deck, the Renter’s 20” tube TV in the basement by the weight room and the 22” sitting in the box in my bedroom. I don’t even have a cable outlet in my bedroom. Yet. Funny thing is if I’m in bed I more than likely won’t have my contacts in and won’t be able to see the TV anyway.
The new workout looks like this:
Flat dumbbell press – 90lbs x 10
Incline dumbbell press – 70lbs x 10
Flys – 30lb x 10 followed by presses till failure
Chin-ups – whatever I weigh ? x 8
Pull-ups – whatever I weight ? x 8
Dumbbell rows – 90lbs x 10
Dumbbell shoulder presses – 70lbs x 8
Upright rows – 125lbs x 8
Overhead tricep raises – 95lbs x 10
Curling bar curls – 95lbs x 10
Shoulder shrugs – 90lbs x 40
I’ll do that for Monday and Tuesday and repeat it on Thursday and Friday. You wouldn’t think doing one set of everything would be enough but I’m sore for a good two days afterwards. After three weeks of using the 90lb dumbbells on the flat bench press I’ve gone from seven reps to ten. Must be doing something right.
Bank of B is sick of lending money and not getting paid back in a timely manner. I have two people who still owe me money for the NCAA pool and I’ve already paid out all the winners. Not that I need it, just the principle of it all.
I have the Renter benching 75 lbs ten times on the flat bench (barbell). The other day I think I actually saw a tricep. Great improvement.
I did someone’s taxes dating back to 2004. I don’t know how far back he will get reimbursed, but all five years came out to $3,400 for the fed and state combined. How much of that do you think I’ll see for all my time and effort? Probably the same as the NCAA people.
I broke down and bought a Playstation 2. They’re down to $100 brand new and I never really had a game station growing up besides the original Nintendo. I went to the used game place and picked up 15 games. Now I stay up till midnight playing Mortal Kombat. Last Friday I got up to the bar at 9:00 and people immediately asked why I was still sober. I now let a video games interfere with my drinking. That’s just fucked up.
I have more tidbits floating around in my head, just a matter of remembering them when they pop in there. Till that happens…
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
Thursday, April 09, 2009
Danyell Johnson was sitting in his car in the 2300 block of N. 47th St. sending a text message to his girlfriend March 16 when a man with a pistol showed up demanding money, according to a criminal complaint.
Johnson, 30, handed over $400 and was shot repeatedly by the gunman who walked off, the complaint states.
Johnson began to yell for his mother when the gunman returned and asked, "Are you still alive?"
The gunman then fired two more shots.
Marques D. Roundtree, 25, of Milwaukee has been charged with armed robbery and attempted first degree intentional homicide in the attack on Johnson. If convicted, he faces up to 40 years in prison and a fine of up to $100,000 in connection with robbery; up to 60 years for the attempted murder.
I can't even comment on this horrific act. Feel free to leave your thoughts.
Tuesday, April 07, 2009
Friday, April 03, 2009
Wednesday, April 01, 2009
Actually, it was really just me carrying my new 90 lb dumbbells into the basement, one at a time of course. But those stairs certainly had me worried.