Friday, August 30, 2013

30 30-packs

I thought they were on sale for $1 off.  Turns out they weren't.  They had them all loaded up and at the front of the store.  I joked, "Oh, the Natural Light is on sale, could I have that instead?"  The guy didn't laugh.  Oh well, won't have to go back for beer for a while.

And yes, that's my living room.

Tuesday, August 27, 2013

Syria

Can I send the Syrian gov an invoice for 1.5% of my mutual funds for supposedly using chemical weapons?  Shows you where my morals are, my cash-o-la.

Heat Wave

It's Ribeye Tuesday and the grill already registers 100ยบ before we even turned it on.  It's m-f-ing hot out.

Friday, August 23, 2013

Ryan Braun

You can't tell me that other professional players aren't using HGH. Sure, Durant, Duncan, I wouldn't think so.  But LaBron, CP3 (since he's denounced testing), you gotta wonder.  Sly still looks very good (and convicted), as does Gibson (cohort in Expendaes 3).  OK for movie stars...

Sunday, August 18, 2013

Whorebag

My dog being slutty 

Thursday, August 15, 2013

Market Downturn

I just lost more today in my "safe" mutual funds than I made working the past two weeks.  Unlike a gambler who boasts of his winnings at the black jack table, I feel the brunt of the load when I lose.  Thank goodness I don't play the tables anymore.

Wednesday, August 14, 2013

Email of the Day

To coworker: I think I will choose items that I feign interest in much more carefully from now on.  (this after a rather long conversation that included me bobbing my head and inching towards the door)

Sunday, August 11, 2013

Lorenzo

The Roommate and I love, absolutely love going to New China Buffet.  We usually sit in the booths on the HWY 100 side.  They have staff who swing by and pick up your empty/dirty plates, and if you know me, with the buffet, I go through a lot of plates.  We've gotten to know one of their staff quite well.  He always recognizes us, even cleaned off a table for us pronto when they were busy one Saturday.  Just a really, really nice guy.

I didn't know his name.  Point your finger at me for racial profiling, but I called him Lorenzo.  Between the Roommate and I, that is.  It was a thing between the two of us, until Saturday.

Roommate: So, what is your name?  We always call you Lorenzo.

Thankfully Marco took it well.  

I just continued to stuff my face.

Friday, August 09, 2013

Tippy Toe

I've been tippy-toeing the line vs. the Roommate and the Contractor about getting the bathroom redone.  The Roommate doesn't realize that the contractor will win, until the job is done.  I just want it done.  And no more trips to Menards.

Sunday, August 04, 2013

Spiders

I love how my friends won't let my whole spider story die anytime soon.  Thanks guys.

Friday, August 02, 2013

Riley Cooper

Media, just stop.  After the whole Zimmerman thing I think we're done with getting race issues thrown in our face.  Just stop.

As Pooh would say, "Tigger please."

Thursday, August 01, 2013

Painter

My friend who's doing my bathroom brought a painter guy over today.  He's Russian or Slovakian, something like that.  I soooo want to ask him to say "Much better," because when those people say it, it's more like "Muouch beeter."  Accent kills me, in a good way.