By Catharine Skipp and Arian Campo-Flores
Jan. 30, 2007 - It was supposed to be college day for the students of Ware Shoals High School in South Carolina, a chance to learn about educational prospects at a local institution. [Yeah, I can’t exactly say I didn’t fuck around on “college day” back when I was in high school.] But according to police, two of the school’s cheerleaders ditched the event (the exact date hasn’t been made public) and instead headed to a motel with Jill Moore, their coach. There, they met up for a tryst [love that word] with two National Guardsmen who recruited at their school. Moore loosened things up by allegedly providing the girls with vodka. [Moore didn’t need any, the hoe was loose enough already.] Then, the cops say, she repaired to a room with one of the soldiers and set up a different room for the two cheerleaders and the other soldier to “hook up.” According to authorities, the second Guardsman and one of the girls later admitted that they had a sexual relationship.
Uh, dude had two high school cheerleaders with him in a hotel room and had “a sexual relationship” with only one of them? Pathetic. But I’ll give him the benefit of the doubt, maybe he just shot his load a bit too early to get to the second girl. Still not a good excuse, but… And what is “a sexual relationship?” Did he stick it in her ass or not?
Though the sheriff’s office isn’t bringing charges against the Guardsmen—since all parties involved were at least 16, the age of consent in South Carolina—the military is conducting its own investigation, one that could lead to a court-martial.
Sixteen. SIXTEEN?! As Swandad says, NUFF SAID.
They say she brought along a cheerleader to the National Armory, where the girl would distract other employees while Moore had sex with her Guardsman lover, Thomas Fletcher. And they allege that she also had a sexual relationship with a male high-school student who once accompanied her to a Clemson athletic event while she boozed it up. Investigators say that Fletcher and the male student have admitted to sexual affairs with Moore, who is married with two kids.
I’ll bet those two kids will grow up being really proud of mommy.
And then there’s this story:
BIRMINGHAM, England - Counterterrorism police arrested nine men in an alleged kidnapping plot Wednesday — a plan that reportedly involved torturing and beheading a British Muslim soldier and broadcasting the killing on the Internet.
The alleged plot was to involve the kidnapping of a British serviceman in Britain, a government contact connected with security services told NBC News on condition of anonymity.
Sky TV, which said it knew the target’s identity, a man in his 20s, quoted sources as saying the intent was to mimic the abductions and beheadings of Westerners carried out by militants in Iraq and post a video of the killing on the Internet.
How would you like to be that guy? How would you continue your daily life knowing that people were orchestrating your kidnapping behind closed doors? It’s not like they were just planning a drive by in the hood or anything. And the man was in his 20’s. Unlike most of my friends (ha, ha), I’m still in my 20’s. I’m just thankful no one wants to kidnap me, strip me, kill me and broadcast it on the internet while all my friends laugh and howl at my small penis. Heartless pricks I tell you.
In other dick(head) news:
K-Fed’s divorce demands must include hitting it one more time, otherwise the stupid fucker would take the $25 mil and run. To her defense, Britney could just play it off as “Oops, I did it again.”
By Jeannette Walls
Looks like K-Fed is making good on his threat to hit up Britney Spears for big bucks.
Kevin Federline turned down a $25 million divorce settlement from the “Oops, I Did It Again” singer, according to Star.
At one point, Federline was reportedly looking for $50 million from his estranged wife and the mother of two of his children — but the source insists it’s not greed — but love of their kids.
“Kevin says that Britney offered him $10 million to walk away from their marriage and to relinquish custody of their kids, but he just laughed. Then she came back with $20 million which he turned down too,” a source told the tab “Now he says she’s offering a whopping $25 million, and that’s her final offer. He told her to take a hike! He loves his two little boys, and there’s no way he’s going to disappear from their lives.”
I’ve seen the snatch. I’d take the cash.
And here’s the reigning Miss USA Tara Conner in her interview with Matt Lauer. Somebody please get her a vodka Red Bull and some coke, she looks like shit.
Vagina Day is still 14 days away. How many times do I have to hear Mr. Kessler (jewelry place) talk about how big his balls, er, diamond necklaces are between now and then on your beloved radio station? I already puked in my garbage can once and I don't think the cleaning lady will like it if I do it again. Needless to say I won't be getting any on Vagina Day. Or any day for that matter. Well, I shouldn't say that. I could always get myself something nice...
Please, feel free to email them at firstname.lastname@example.org.
Carson Palmer doesn’t understand black people:
"Enough is enough," Palmer said Wednesday at the Super Bowl media center. "It's something we're definitely not proud of. From here on out, guys just need to make better decisions. Life is about making the right decisions and moving on. The decisions they've made are not the right ones. There's really nothing that Marvin can do in the offseason. Right now, you can't put a curfew on guys. You can't call guys every single night to make sure they're in bed, they're not running around."
Anonymous Cincinnati Bengal player commented:
"Man, he don’t know nothin’ what it’s like for a brotha. You gotsa have da posse and da bitches and da strip clubs and da guns. Carson Palmer’s just a cracker who’s got a hot cracker wife with a tiny ass. Sheet, he’d crap his motha fuckin’ pants if he saw the hoes we gets up in here. Damn straight. Sheet, dat’s him right dere, drivin’ that hillbilly F-150 with the 16” dubs. He don’t understand, you gotsa have some bling on yo ride. Ya know, it’s kinda like dat Will Smith song, “Carson Palmer Just Don’t Understand.” Oh shit, put that joint down, it’s da cops!"