Sports Bar?

Email to Yahoo Personals girl: Would it be a little weird if we dressed you up in a red bra/panty combo complete with antlers and red nose and I put on a Santa costume for a little Santa-reindeer sex?

Her response: Yeah - maybe....lol

My response: Can’t hurt to give it a shot, right? I even have matching belts with missal toe hanging in the front!

Her response: none




Walking to City Hall today I heard my name called out from the street. I look over and one of the hot older bartenders who used to work at the corner bar is hanging her head out the window.

Hot Bartender: Where are you going?

Me: Just down to City Hall.

Hot Bartender: Do you want a ride?

Me: No, I’m on company time, and I don’t think your back seat is big enough.


At least she laughed and didn’t flip me off or look at me weird or make a u-turn and run me over or make me use company time for, er, ridin’ dirty. 'Cause that would be just wrong.



And lastly, if you go to a strip club you go there to see boobies and ass and maybe have a couple cocktails and a lapper (lappers are always nice)(so are boobies)(so is ass)(if only they were free!). If you go to a cheap buffet for lunch you expect to eat semi decent food (and lots of it) at a reasonable price. If you go to a casino you’re there to play blackjack next to some woman who smells like shit and may or may not have all of her teeth. But if you go to a sports bar where the bartender is bi and the patrons consist of a gay guy and a couple of women you don’t get to watch sports. Instead, every TV is turned to America’s Next Top Model. Don’t get me wrong, it’s a decent show, can’t go wrong with hot women wearing various skimpy outfits and doing some funky poses for the photographers (gotta love it when they bend over and spread their ass cheeks, wait, that’s porn, my fault, porn’s cool too). But when Louisville just went up by four with seven minutes left and they are favored by ten (don’t ask why I knew the line…) and I run up to the bar only to be laughed at because there aren’t any sports on, yeah, well, you can just blow it out your ass. I watched Louisville win by eleven (yeah!) from the comfort of my living room. Fuck it.