Yeah, I should have used a different title like Check Out These Titties! or The Best Head Ever! or Free Beer! or I Had This Boner That Just Wouldn’t Go Down - And It Was Fucking HUGE! as I’m sure most of you don’t even read these updates to my little weightlifting guide (besides, all those other titles would be lies - and I wouldn't lie to you - well, except for that "huge" part). But I feel like it’s a public service announcement that I’m obligated to share with you. I really don’t think there are that many people out there like me who have taken the pussy off the pedestal and replaced it with alcohol but yet still enjoy a good workout in the weight room. [In my best Allen Iverson voice: Pussy? Pussy? Come on, what are we talking ‘bout here? Pussy? Pussy. We ain’t talking about games here, we’re talking ‘bout pussy.] [In my best Jim Mora voice: What’s that? Uh – pussy? Don’t talk about – pussy? You kidding me? Pussy? I just hope I can get some beer!]
So I’ve been trying this new routine for the past week and a half. Instead of doing 12 sets of chest exercises one day and 12 sets of back exercises the next I’ve been doing everything in one day, just in smaller amounts. Using a Monday/Wednesday/Friday schedule I’ve been able to hit all the body part three times a week without over fatiguing any muscles. The key here is to not overdo it. My new workout looks like this:
3 sets chest
3 sets back
3 sets shoulders
3 sets biceps
3 sets triceps
2 sets shoulder shrugs
By doing only three sets for each body part you’ll still feel the ache the next day but by the second day you’re ready to workout again. I’m still using heavy weights and aiming for the 6-8 rep range, just cutting the number of sets down. The order of this workout is very important. After doing three sets of chest you give the shoulders and triceps a rest by doing three sets of back. Once you’re done with the back exercises your shoulders will be somewhat recovered from doing chest that you can go straight at them. Since you use your triceps while doing most shoulder exercises (overhead presses) you hit the biceps next and give the triceps a little breather. Hit the triceps and do a couple grueling sets of shoulder shrugs and you’re done. Finito.
When you go in for your next workout switch up the exercises, not the order, to get an overall well rounded week in. If you did flat bench the previous time hit the incline bench. If you did pull-ups for your previous back exercise change it to a dumbbell row. Changing the exercises up for each body part will ensure that you get them from every possible angle throughout the course of the week.
There you have it, yet another update to The Beer Drinker’s Guide to Weightlifting. Give it a shot for a week or two and switch back to a previous installation to be really diverse. If you do a workout long enough your body will get used to it. You’re better off changing it up from time to time.
(On another note, I read somewhere that UCLA’s Kevin Love benched 185 lbs 18 times at the NBA scout camp down in Florida. I know the guy’s like 6’10” and 290 lbs but fuck, look at him; ain’t a whole lot of muscle bulging on those flabby arms. Sure, he could have hit the gym hard since I last saw him in March and he probably did considering he’s entering the NBA draft this year but 18 times? Now I don’t recommend anyone adding this to their workout but I’ve been on a mission to top this. On my first set of benches I’m trying to do 185 lbs as many times as possible (currently up to 15). Doing 18 reps of any chest exercise is a bit much but I’m just trying to see if I can do it. I’m sure that he trained specifically for this weight for the scouting camp. Putting up 185 lbs more times than the next guy might impress NBA scouts; not me. I’m sure he’d fail miserably with 250 lbs. Just wait till he has to go up against Orlando’s Dwight Howard who can bench 365 lbs (not to mention Dwight can actually jump higher than six inches).
(Yet another note - Kevin Durant couldn’t bench 185 lbs once last year.)