Friday, September 28, 2012

Do It Yourself

I have a storm drain and that is clogged and I have two friends coming over tomorrow to help me on clog it.  I am so handy at these do it yourself projects that I am surprised I get masturbation down right. The joys of home ownership.

Thursday, September 27, 2012

10:00 Bedtime

Lately, I am really enjoying going to bed at 10 oclock.  I might wake up at 5:30 a.m. but then I still have 2 hours before I really have to get up to go to work. It's kind of relaxing knowing that I have time to spare in the morning and not having to listen to my alarm clock go off.  This might be a sign of getting old but I wish I had done it sooner. The days of staying up until 2 a.m. are definately in the past.

Thursday, September 20, 2012

Marquette University Donation

I got a call from the Marquette University Alumni Association.  Appearantly they have students calling for donations.

Caller: Hi, I'm calling for the Marquette University Alumni Association.  How are you today?

Me: I'm ok I guess.

[The only reason I answered the call was because they had called ten times before.]

Caller: Can I ask about your experience at Marquette?

Me: Well, I didn't really like it that much.

[The cheery voice on the other end became hesitent.]

Caller: What about it didn't you like?

Me: I didn't really like the students, a lot seemed like stuck up rich kids.  Oh, and Calculus 3, God did that suck.

Caller: I'm sorry to hear that.  What was your major?

Me: Electrical Engineering.

Caller: Well, we've made a lot of changes recently including a new engineering building.  The reason I'm calling is to ask you for a donation to help students pay for their tuition.  Tuition is currently $32,000 and room and board can run up to $10,000.

Me: No wonder why student loans are becoming such a big problem.  Maybe you should stop building new buildings.

Caller: Would you be willing to donate $100 to our tuition fund?

Me: Have you listened to anything I've said?

Caller: Or maybe a lessor donation of $25?

Me: Sorry, I only attended your school for two years, I'm a UW-Milwaukee graduate.

Caller: Ok, sir, can we at least update your contact information?

Me: It's bad enough that you have my phone number.

Caller: Uh, ok, thank you.

$160,000 to attend fours years of college?  Heaven forbid if you change majors and it takes you five years.  That is just insane.  Your best bet would be to pay $1,500 a month for 15 years and live in your parents' basement.  That sounds really appealing.

Monday, September 17, 2012

Middle Class

I know Mr. Romney is from the east coast and Mr. Obama is from Chicago, but I don't know anyone who's considered middle class who's making $200,000 a year.  That's a shit load of cash.  Anyone agree with me?

If I was making that I'd be retired after ten years, but I live well below my income as it is.

No kids.

No student loans.

But you shouldn't have to live your life this way, I just choose to.

Wednesday, September 12, 2012

Puppy Pooping

Nothing like coming home from work and having a 7lb puppy with shit shmeared all over her ass beacause we gave her some steak on Tuesday steak night.  I felt bad.  Imagine sitting in your bed, not able to get out, and pooping where you sleep.  

Poor girl.  No more human food for her.

Sunday, September 09, 2012

Target Return

So I put the Renter's plastic cup with a straw in it in the dishwasher.  I guess the heat bent the plastic straw so I was going to buy her a new one.  Found one at Target and bought it.

On the way out the door I noticed it was $11.  I'm not paying $11 for a plastic cup.

I went back in the store and stood in the return line.  An older woman walked in front of me and leaned on the wall.

Me: Are you in line for a return?

Old Broad: Yes.

Me: Do you know the line is behind me?

Old Broad: Yes.

Me: Do you have a problem with standing in line?  I'm sure they taught you that in kindergarten.

She scowled at me.

The Renter left the store.

I can't wait till I get older, I'll be such an angry old man.