Peep Show

Saturday evening after we got done with the deck I had the neighborhood over for beverages. Irritating short dude from across the street, neighbor down the street, his co-worker, his daughter, and his daughter’s friend, just chilling on the almost completed deck. Linds asks if I have any vodka, and knowing that she drinks UV I inform her that all I have is cheap shit (cheap as it comes). I make her an OJ/vodka with about half the vodka I usually put in. She tries it, makes this contorted face and asks if I made it strong enough. I proceed to show her my cup which in comparison to hers looks like it’s filled with Sprite (there was OJ in there, I swear!). So I think I officially over served Linds (they had an early night). I’m still sweaty and yucky from working outside all day and desperately need a shower. The peeps are getting restless and want to go up to the bar so I go inside and take a shower. I always leave the door open to the bathroom as the humidity kills me when I get out of the shower, did the same this time. The shampoo is working it’s magic on my head, grab the soap, and whoosh, the shower curtain is open and there are 3 or 4 people in my bathroom. Linds has the curtain in her hand and is staring at my unit/digit/appendage, whatever you want to call it. Standing there for 4 seconds, I have my hands at my sides in the “What the fuck?” position, Linds asks if I’m going to cover it up. Obviously she doesn’t know me that well. Figure if she wants to pull a stunt like that I’m going to pull one right back on her and not cover up. Should have taken a picture of her with her jaw hanging all the way open. I don’t remember what my reply was (see above beverages), but she closed the shower and left. I got dressed and went back to the porch and we all went to the corner bar. Two hours later I found out the hard way that I had over served myself as I fell and smacked my head on the door. The 92 steps to my front door came in two sets of 46, had to take a seat halfway home and mumbled something about buying one of the apartment buildings right next to the bar to my walking home helper (thank you for not tripping me!).