Weekend Festivities

Friday, vodka a flowing, chatting with friends till 11:30 and the deck. The neighborhood gay guy was having a party so we stumbled over. One can of Coors Lite (who buys Coors Lite) and one mixed drink (who knows what was in that) and I'm hanging on to a minivan for dear life while the pipsqweek across the street is singing "Lady" by Kenny Rogers in front of 15 people who were just laughing at him. Walked home the three blocks, would have gotten lost if not for a very good friend who showed the way and carried my drink for me (why can't she find her way around West Allis driving?). Sat on the deck and finished the mystery drink, and crashed.

Saturday was much much better (from my point of view at least). In the pool during the day, J is talking about getting some Malibu and pineapple juice (and she doesn't drink). She's been hanging around me too much, looked at the $20 price tag on the Malibu and past on it, but she did pick up my 1.75L bottle of vodka. She gets to my house at 7:45 (that's close to the 7:00 time she told me earlier). Good thing pipsqweek dropped off a 30 pack of beer earlier, I was out of juice so the vodka would have been a little strong (as in 100%). I'm making my usual 75/25 vodka and she says she wants one too, but she wants to make it. Pours about a half a shot in the 16 ounce cup, I laugh and fill it with lemonade. I finish making mine, go outside and enjoy the good company. Ten minutes later she asks me to add a little more vodka to her drink (I couldn't even taste the vodka in her original cup). So I add an amount roughly the same as what she put in so now there's roughly a shot in the cup. Sitting outside, chatting, once in a while I let her know that she hasn't touched her cup in a while hinting that she take a drink. Gets to point where it's almost time to go to the bar (she's signed up for karaokee already) and her drink is 75% full and mine is half full. Tell her that by the time I'm done with mine hers has to gone too. By some miracle she finishes hers in what could be called one big gulp (through a straw) while mine is still 25% full. Finish mine and go in the house, walk past the bathroom, do a double take, her head is on my toilet seat (euw). I should have known something was wrong when I had to hold her arm and walk her to the bar. I get the usual pitcher, she gets the usual water. I get two beers into the pitcher and she's wavering badly. She's getting hot (you know what's coming then) and decides to go to the bathroom. Watched her round the bar and head in the right direction, I grab my beer, look back up and her head is gone (that's about all you can see of her over the bar). Door man and another employee are bending over, trying to pick up the limp body that's on the floor in front off them. One has her in a bear hug trying to sit her in a stool, K yells at me that I need to get over there. I take a gulp and beer and get up (beer, I'll be back). Midget and I try to walk her out but the dude's a midget, it didn't work since I'm 6'4", and J goes down for the second time. K informed me "be careful, she peed herself" and after the second fall, "oh god, she just peed again". Great, so I have to walk a pee soaked unconsious asian girl back to my house. I quickly learn that I should be happy with this scenario and I see the midget has pee on his leg from his thigh to his knee, a strip about four inches wide, pretty dark and soaked through. K and I pick her up, midget goes home and changes, get her in my house where she proceeds to take a shower in her clothes. K leaves, door of the bathroom is locked, I sit outside and have a cigarette. I hear J open the door and I catch her rounding the corner and flopping (with required one bounce) into the bed with a towel around her. On her stomach, I ask her if she's ok, not expecting a response, but she says yes. So I go back to the bar (had half a pitcher sitting there!), finish it, pretty lame night so I leave. Check on her again, still on her stomach, decide to make a special lemonade and go on the blog (see previous blog, took forever with the wobbly fingers). Sunday morning, walk into the shower to the worst smell, evidently she puked in my shower. Pouring drano as I type. But she took me to George Webbs for lunch so I'm happy. Peace out and keep the beverages flowing.