The Friendly Chat

Had a friend over on Friday, I cooked chicken legs on the grill (I'm sure that doesn't surprise anyone). We mostly chat about work and relationships, cars, pretty much anything. I'm surprised she came back for the second visit after all the stories I told her the first time she stopped over. Yeah, you know me, I don't sugar coat any of my stories to make them sound better, just the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. Conversation's going well as usual, the point comes up that it's odd that we can chat the hours away like best friends even though we really don't know much about the other since graduation. We gravitate up to the corner bar, take the long way (little exercise), and plop ourselves down at the same table we were at the last time. The conversation continues till 1:00 am (yes, that'd be 7 hours of constant chatter). Ok, maybe not constant chatter, my mind goes blank a couple of times when she looks at me (very cute, the eyes get me). We're talking mostly about bad relationships we've had and how to avoid them in the future. For the first time in a very very long time I realize that my dating (if you can call it that) is not as good as I thought it was. I used to think having my name on the wall at the bar was cool, but if you really think about why that rule is up there it's not all that cool. Telling stories about my bad relationships/encounters is a little scary both because of the bad situations and number of stories I have to tell. She told me a story about how she found out that a guy she was dating was having sex with 5 other women besides her. Ok, I'll admit, first thought that crossed my mind was pimp, but then I started thinking, the way I'm going, I really don't want to end up being that guy. That guy having what amounts to meaningless sex with a number of women, and that's pretty much what I've been doing for the past year. As the night goes on I start to wonder why I suddenly feel this way. I think it might be because I'm starting to get some feelings for the friend that I really haven't had for anyone in a very long time. We kissed at the end of the night (first time ever) and I was floored. I felt like I was in highschool kissing a girl for the first time. Maybe it was the beer getting to my head but it was the most passionate kiss ever. I would take kissing her over having sex with any of the past dates in a heart beat. And of course I'd have a really tough time trying to explain to her the feelings that I have for her because I haven't had those feelings for quite some time, I'm having a hard time explaining them to myself. So here I am, in uncharted territory, and I don't know what the hell to do. For now I'll just hope and pray that I get to kiss her again soon.