So today is day #1 of not giong up to the bar, or not drinking period. Watching that movie yesterday scared me, they tried to cut back on the vodka and started getting the shakes and sweats. I've only been a true professional for a year and a half, don't think I'll have any problems going till Friday. Funny thing is I have 40 cans of beer in the fridge and an inch of vodka left sitting on the counter, no urge to even tap a little out. We'll see if it's different on Thursday! Went jogging after work, I feel like I'm walking around like Hulk Hogan or Herman Munster, please don't tell me I'm getting old. Watched a little of Hogan Knows Best today, his daughter signed a $1.3 million recording contract with Scott Scorche (probably spelled that wrong). Got a $200,000 advance check on the spot. If only I were a 6 ft tall blonde who could sing (got the height part down, just have to grow some breasts and test out my skills at karaoke). One of Shannon's comments on her blog was something to the fact of if this guy really wants to talk to me how come he's so shy with the emails. I'd never sent her one so today I did, lamest piece of shit I've ever written, but what do you say to someone who you kind of know from her blog but have never met her in person? She replied, she was a little skeptical about why I want to get to know her, I don't blame her. I was thinking a couple referral letters from a couple ex girlfriends might help, if anyone's going to bad mouth me you'd think it would be one of them, but I don't think that would be the case. No matter how badly my relationships end we usually end up staying friends, or at least aquaintances.
Sorry if this isn't that entertaining, I had a friend come over tonight to help in my quest to keep occupied. She brought over the movie The Notebook. Holy crap, I haven't balled my eyes out like that in years, just a tad bit emotional. Not to the point where I was sobbing or anything, but to the point where wiping off the tears was only a temporary fix, new ones just kept on coming like a streaming waterfall. Can't believe I'm letting everyone in on this. What a nice love story, but if that were me in real life, I'd be a total wreck. After coming to tears with A Love Song for Bobby on Sunday, this tonight, and she's bringing A Walk To Remember tomorrow, I'm going to have to stock up on Gatorade just to stay hydrated. So it's 11:30, sitting outside on the computer, after watching that movie my emotions are way out of whack, between that and the fact I didn't drink anything tonight is going to make sleeping very difficult. I have to be at work a little after 7:00 tomorrow so hopefully I can get some sleep. With that said, to all of you who have found that one person in your life that makes you want to build them a dream house, I envy you. To all who have found that person and lost them, I feel your pain and wish you only the best. Can't believe I'm starting to tear up right now. Good night.
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Finding that one person you connect with on every level is rare. You just have to be open to the idea and not be scared of the road in front of you. The past is the past and you can't let the past shape your future. Sometimes the thing you need, not want but NEED is right in front of you. Just have to open your eyes and open your heart. You don't have to envy anyone because someone cares for you that deeply already.
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