Poor Guy Outside My Office

Those parking checkers were out on the prowl again.

My Dick, Er Deck

Two years of engineering at Marquette paid off (finally).

Even Have The Touch While Driving

Went to the chiro again today for the shoulder/back, what gives, I've been gentle to it lately (been using left hand to whack off) and it's still giving me shit. On the way home, cruising through downtown, checking out chics/women in sexy business attire (thank goodness I don't have to work with some of them, wouldn't get a damn thing done), trying to pay attention to the road (gets really bad when the Marquette students get back), get back on the way home and hit a red light. Checked out the woman driving next to me, actually looked twice, I think she noticed the second one. Nice Mazda to go along with the nice ring on her finger. Driving along, somehow I get in front of her. Traffic was pretty light and I'm going a little fast and changing lanes (usually don't do that if it's busy, just sit back and take it up the ass). She is right behind me on every one. Get to another red light, still behind me, so I look into the rearview mirror (women might not know what that is) and give a little wave. She smiles and waves back. The whole 6 miles back to my house she follows me till we get to my street. I'm in the left hand turn lane looking right to get one last glimpse and what do I see, her doing the same damn thing. Just nice to know that even older women with nice rocks on their fingers find something in me.


So we were taking some photos at the pool over the weekend, 14 beers into it I tried on Mahogany's swim top. I think I fill it out pretty well. If she has DD's, what does that make me? I'm not sure if I had the head cut off to remain somewhat anomynous or just to keep the dorky smile from being published.

So Much For Going Four Days

So last night I broke the four day vow, went up to the corner. I initially went there to hop on their internet, it was rainy outside and there wasn’t a dry place to sit. After two hours of drinking water and reading the deck building book (start next week!) I was ready. Two hours of sleep the night before (not that I stayed up late, really), at work at 7:00, long day, I figured I was due a good nights sleep. And that I got. 7:30 to 9:30 water, 9:30 to 11:00 3 pitchers, 11:00 to 12:00 3 16 ouncers and 5 shots of So Co (bar dice were good to me), and 12:00 to 7:30 was zonked out time, greatly needed it. I’m not sure if I feel better in the morning after a good night’s sleep after drinking or sleeping like shit without alcohol, toss up. But I knew I needed the sleep, I think that was the deciding factor. I’ll do my best to be a good boy till Friday. A friend of mine sent NYC chic an email, I was surprised at how many good qualities she gave me (didn’t think I had that many). I think I posted a comment to her site too, hope I’m not a stalker now or something creepy like that (I’m a nice guy, I hope).

One topic that came up last night was money. Most people have the piggy bank and save their change, I have this weird habit of saving every $1 bill I get. I have a stack of $1’s at home and I can usually control myself and not touch them. Yeah, the financial adviser would yell at me and tell me to invest it, I guess if they were in a money market account they’d earn $50 a year, but I have a bad habit of dipping in to the money market account, spending $100 in singles is a little tougher. Way too easy to go to the ATM and pull out $500 and go to the casino, but going to the casino with $500 in one dollar bills would get me an evil look from the cashier (it’s bad enough with all $20’s). The ATM brings up another topic; since I have been known to go to the casino in the past and pull out cash from there, I no longer keep any large amount of money readily available. I’ve done way too many stupid things with money on numerous drunken weekends. That said, I am the poorest financially stable person in the world. Pull out $200 on Friday, get gas, carton of cigarettes, 30 pack of beer, $10 bottle of vodka, lemonade, and I’m broke by Wednesday. And I purposely pay extra on the house, send the financial advisor money, dole out everything I can just to get the available balance down as low as possible. I’ve even given Pops $500 in the past just to hold on to for two weeks; I know asking him for it back would be embarrassing so it’s safe there. All these little tactics just to keep myself happy, kind of like lifting weights, if I don’t go I feel like crap, if I blow my wad (cash) I get depressed. I think I need to see a therapist for the drinking/sleeping thing. Not that I want to quit drinking, but I would like to sleep a little better.

Tuesday Crab Ass

With the crappy night’s sleep (in bed at 12:00, asleep at 2:30, saw the clock again at 4:30, tossed till 6:30) I’m in a crappy mood. So here’s what was going through my head last night. Why the hell do the cars/trucks with the noisiest exhausts have to drive by my house at 1 or 2 o’clock in the morning? Have they been reading my blog and know I’m going to have a hard time sleeping? Are the sleep gods sending text messages to these people suggesting they gun the gas when they drive by instead of actually slowing down for the stop light? Do people put signs out at night, semis please use alternate route down this street, B’s trying to sleep? I’d close my window but I’ve heard stories of people dying from nocturnal emissions, I think I’d be a prime candidate for that (I’m sure that will win the women over). Then there’s the flight for life helicopter making trips to the local hospital. Well, usually it’s making trips, last night it was hovering over my house. You’d think the helicopter fuel would be too expensive to sit and hover, overlooking the area. Or was it circling like a vulture, waiting for me to gasp my last breath and swoop in? Sorry fellas, not tonight, I have a meeting in the morning. I’ll let you know when the timing is more convenient. Till then I’ll keep you on speed dial. And next time you fly by can you get a little altitude? Is it necessary to skim the tree tops right outside my window? I have the flares and speed dial ready, you won’t miss me. If the flare comes too close to you I’m sorry, unless you’re doing the low altitude hover again, then it’s a toss up as to what my intentions are, you never know what’s going through a sleep deprived brain at 2:00 in the morning. I figure the next step is to further injure my back/shoulder and end up in the hospital, have one of those cute nurses bring me drugs every four hours and keep me sleeping like a baby. Last time I was in was for knee surgery, had this really hot nurse, dark skinned, funky accent, total cutie. And of course my mom was in the room when she offered to bathe me. Of all the times to visit. I had to respectfully decline, but you better believe I thought about it for the next couple days. Should have just kicked mom out and gotten my moneys worth.

Monday Emotional Rollercoaster

So today is day #1 of not giong up to the bar, or not drinking period. Watching that movie yesterday scared me, they tried to cut back on the vodka and started getting the shakes and sweats. I've only been a true professional for a year and a half, don't think I'll have any problems going till Friday. Funny thing is I have 40 cans of beer in the fridge and an inch of vodka left sitting on the counter, no urge to even tap a little out. We'll see if it's different on Thursday! Went jogging after work, I feel like I'm walking around like Hulk Hogan or Herman Munster, please don't tell me I'm getting old. Watched a little of Hogan Knows Best today, his daughter signed a $1.3 million recording contract with Scott Scorche (probably spelled that wrong). Got a $200,000 advance check on the spot. If only I were a 6 ft tall blonde who could sing (got the height part down, just have to grow some breasts and test out my skills at karaoke). One of Shannon's comments on her blog was something to the fact of if this guy really wants to talk to me how come he's so shy with the emails. I'd never sent her one so today I did, lamest piece of shit I've ever written, but what do you say to someone who you kind of know from her blog but have never met her in person? She replied, she was a little skeptical about why I want to get to know her, I don't blame her. I was thinking a couple referral letters from a couple ex girlfriends might help, if anyone's going to bad mouth me you'd think it would be one of them, but I don't think that would be the case. No matter how badly my relationships end we usually end up staying friends, or at least aquaintances.

Sorry if this isn't that entertaining, I had a friend come over tonight to help in my quest to keep occupied. She brought over the movie The Notebook. Holy crap, I haven't balled my eyes out like that in years, just a tad bit emotional. Not to the point where I was sobbing or anything, but to the point where wiping off the tears was only a temporary fix, new ones just kept on coming like a streaming waterfall. Can't believe I'm letting everyone in on this. What a nice love story, but if that were me in real life, I'd be a total wreck. After coming to tears with A Love Song for Bobby on Sunday, this tonight, and she's bringing A Walk To Remember tomorrow, I'm going to have to stock up on Gatorade just to stay hydrated. So it's 11:30, sitting outside on the computer, after watching that movie my emotions are way out of whack, between that and the fact I didn't drink anything tonight is going to make sleeping very difficult. I have to be at work a little after 7:00 tomorrow so hopefully I can get some sleep. With that said, to all of you who have found that one person in your life that makes you want to build them a dream house, I envy you. To all who have found that person and lost them, I feel your pain and wish you only the best. Can't believe I'm starting to tear up right now. Good night.

Love Song for Bobby

So I saw a really disturbing movie over the weekend, Love Song for Bobby, I wouldn’t have even watched it but I saw John Travolta and Scarlett Johansson were in it. I won’t get into the whole plot of the movie and all, I’m not a movie reviewer (heck, I can hardly write, I work with numbers all day). The disturbing part was how much John Travolta and his roommate/friend drank every day. His roommate would walk into Bobby’s bedroom around noon to wake him up with a glass of vodka in hand. They were irritated when there wasn’t any orange juice in the fridge to mix with their breakfast drink. Out of the 2 hour long movie I’m guessing a good 1 hour had alcoholic beverages on the screen, whether it be the vodka or beer or Jack. Their homeless friends were always sitting out singing songs to the guitar and (or course) drinking beer. Don’t ask me how they paid for any of the alcohol, there weren’t too many people in the movie who had jobs. No car either, they would walk what seemed like forever just to go to town. Every day they would drink, smoke, and philosophize about anything and everything. Being an ex English professor Bobby was always quoting some author or another. His friend was writing a book about Bobby’s life, he would write and then shred it and/or burn the pages. And I must admit I did shed a tear on numerous occasions, thankfully nobody was there to see it. But then again I usually get a little emotional while watching movies, I’ll admit I cried during Armageddon when Bruce Willis pushed Ben Affleck into the elevator and stayed on the meteor to blow it up. Scarlett was pretty easy on the eyes, too.

Mad Props

Ok, I have mad props from people trying to get NYC chic to invite me over, oh that would be so sweet. Little weekend vacation filled with endless conversations, what could be better? Spent most of the weekend at the pool (ex's and friend), good times just talking shit. So, I'm actually actively trying to pursue this NYC thing, I think we'd have a fun time just sitting and talking, no sex required. You can never know too many people, correct? Anyway, thanks for the props, again, as Tom Cruise said, "I love black people!!!", but I really just love everyone, hope the friend I pissed off on Friday reads this because I love her too, even if I made a rude comment to her. Peace.

1.75 L

I can't believe my cell phone still has life. I left the charger at work, and it's not like I get that many calls, people know where to find me, but it's still alive non the less. Do I need hyphens in that? Ok, so what is the proper term for a 1.75 L bottle of booze? I'm dying to know, telling people I polished off a "one point seven five liter of vodka" in two days is way too long to say. Not that I'm proud of that, obviously on Friday I pissed a friend off that I'm not proud of, I don't like making people mad at me, but it's been a cheap weekend so far, unlike the $200 weekend of the 4th, I'm skating thin on $40 so far. So please let me know, I hate long winded stories and I don't want to say "one point seven five liter of vodka" again. Love much.

And I'm sorry, but I just caught myself checking out the newly tanned arms that are sticking out of my tank top. Not that I'd wear a tank top out to a bar or anything, but sitting on the back patio admiring them is ok. I think. I'm not anal, am I? I figure I've worked for them.

Chic At The Pool

Before I get into the title, what's up with my neighborhood? First there's a 40ish woman (you know my love for older women) walking her dog. Nice little bubble butt, sports bra under her tshirt, looks at me, we both say hi, she walks a little and looks back again. Uh, can I make your evening a little more exciting? Then there's the 10 yr old kid walking down the street talking on his cell phone. Dude, you're 10, you really need a cell phone? And the hot woman accross the street from me with two kids, tight ass jeans today, looking pretty nice. I've never seen her up close but I bet I could make her evening more exciting, too. I'm bad, I know. Lastly is the millionare neighbors who must have their inground lawn sprinklers on a timer, first one side goes for 10 minutes, then the front, and I'm guessing then the back. Rich people suck. Woman accross the street just got into her car and drove off, glanced at me sitting on the patio, guess that's a start.

Ok, on to the real topic. Today I was at (oh this is going to sound weird) an ex girlfriend's apartment at which the current "friend" just moved in to. They are quickly becoming my best friends and I really enjoy hanging out with them (and they have a pool!). I couldn't stand the ex much before but she's been nothing but nice, I feel I owe her a lot for her friendship (and her beer and awesome chicken on the grill). We're all hanging out at the pool, gorgeous day, 80, sunny, just chillin' and talking smack while catching some rays. I'm making a couple trips to the clubhouse to get water for the friend who's kindly sharing her beverage with me (no beer, I had to drive home). Oh my gosh, the millionare has sprinklers watering the grass between the sidewalk and the street, gotta be shitting me, and it just started raining, how funny. Anyway, on two trips to the clubhouse there are these two girls sitting on the edge of the pool with their feet dangling in. All four occasions (trip there, trip back, trip there, trip back) one of them makes a point to crank her head around and look me in the eye. She was maybe 23, 25, damn cute and really hot. So where does that leave me? Oops, side bar, friend who works at the bar has his car in my driveway (I'm not driving tonight and he knows that), and with the rain I can see what a nice wax job I did on his car, beads up nicely (got 3 pitchers of beer for it, gave me something to do). Ok, chic checking me out, "friend" sitting 15 feet away, do I insult her and start talking to the hot pool side girl or just walk on by and write about it in my blog? Well, I'm writing about it so you already know I kept on walking. But the friend is more than just a friend, I'm not exactly sure where we stand, but we enjoy hanging out together. She knows I'm not really dating material (we'll see if I can do the non-drinking thing Mon-Thurs next week, that would be a step in the right direction). But she enjoys hanging out with me for who I am and our conversations could last forever. Oh, I think I hit on the chic in NY today, just so it's out in the open, I think the friend would be ok with that. So if I sit down and chat with the chic at the pool, do I come out and tell her all my defects (at the bar every damn day, soon to change hopefully, my inability to date someone for more than a month, my dislike of spending money on anything but beer and vodka and my new deck, which is looking a little bleak right now, how I'd rather rent a movie than go out to the movies, how I don't even have a VCR/DVD player because I never watch TV at home, oh my, this list could go on forever), or do I just leave that alone and have a pleasant conversation? I feel that having the pleasant conversation would be somewhat lying on my part, I can't rope a girl in with all my good qualities without telling her the bad, just isn't right. With the new friend, I pretty much laid it all out in the beginning, and she's still hanging out with me, must say something. I figure I saved the chic at the pool a month of her life and a little drama (I don't do drama, everything's peachy with me, except for the friend I pissed off last night, don't know how I'm going to fix that one, but I'll do my best, nobody hates me ever and I don't like it when someone isn't happy with me, and of course it's all my fault). So goes life, I have to think of something to do/say to the friend from last night, don't want to lose her friendship, she's good peeps. As Tom Cruise once said, "I love black people!!!", but I love everyone, even though it might not show all the time.

Coming Together And Apart

Friday night, had to make ammends with both the Roundy's, we all got together and had a good time. They were happy again and I was way too happy, one pitcher at the bar did me in after the coming together. Funny things happen when you don't drink for two days. But in my "coming out party" I somehow managed to anger one of my good friends. I tried to jokingly let her know that I had found her new blog address and had been reading it, but I guess the manner in which I told her wasn't too funny. The worst part was she was writing some stuff about her boyfriend, kind of personal, stuff I probably shouldn't know, so I think I angered both of them. They're both good friends and I see them 5 days a week at the corner bar, loosing their friendship would really suck. I imagine I'll get the evil looks for a while, that's quite understandable. But unfortunately I've hurt her much worse in the past and we're still friends, hopefully this will just be a speed bump in our relationship.

As for the weed carnage I had hoped to see this morning, not exactly what I was looking for. I wanted brown weeds, burning weeds, weeds that just disappeared, but no, that wasn't the case, they're just wilting like they were before. But as long as they're dying I guess I should be happy. Not quite as happy as the Roundy's reunion, but happy non the less. Peace out homies.

Bonehead Move Of The Day

I've got some horrible weeds growing in my freshly planted grass. These things looked viscous, I was almost scared of them. No way in hell did I think the $5 gallon of weed killer was going to kill them. So I let them grow with my depression growing along with them. Last night I decided to try the weed killer and to my surprise they were wilting today (had I done it sooner they wouldn't be wilting all over my new grass, bonehead move number 1). So I went to Walmart today after work, picked up the same brand of weed killer and brought it home. I was just going to combine the two into the bigger container when I noticed the new stuff was really dark in color. I looked at the bottle and guess what it said. Concentrate. Idiot, but then I started thinking, this bottle is pretty big, started reading the directions and I can add two teaspoons to a gallon of water. Sweet! I can make 40 gallons out of this stuff and it only cost $4. If it works as good as the first stuff I'll be set for the summer (I'm anal about weeds). Got peeps over so I gotta leave. Can't wait for the carnage in the morning.

Roundy's Vodka

Roundy’s Vodka, I’m sorry that I have neglected you for over a week now. We have enjoyed many a night chillin’ on the patio sharing our thoughts and comforting each other. You have been a good friend in times of need. On hot summer days you have quenched my thirst like no beer can. But I’m even more sorry that I have not been faithful. That’s right, I’ve been cheating on you and I feel awful. What makes it worse is that it’s a good friend of yours, Roundy’s Cranberry. I know, I know, how can I be so cruel as to come between you and one of your best friends. I’m sorry, really am. But Cranberry has given me insight that you normally cloud, a different perspective if you will. Cranberry has pointed me in a different direction, if only temporarily. I enjoy both of your company, whether it be the normal three some or individually, you both have endearing qualities. With that said, I hope you understand. We will get together in the near future.

Another Night Of Sobriety (So Far)

Thursday night I’m going to be good again (or at least try to). No bar for me, no karaoke (puke). I can’t go running two days in a row, really don’t want to sit on the stationary bike in the basement (maybe if I had a tv down there), so I picked up some cleaning supplies from the store and plan on tackling my bathroom. I haven’t really cleaned the shower in 4 months so that is the evening project. Little Comet, couple scouring pads, little elbow grease and I should be looking at a spotless shower. But then again I am a guy, if it looks better than it does now I’ll be happy. At least it should keep me occupied. If I have time left over I hope to crack open the CPA study guide (oh, who am I kidding). All this brings me to a new question. Why am I torturing myself by staying away from the bar for these two days when I know Friday is right around the corner and I’ll be back to my usual ways? Am I really trying to punish myself for the 16 gallon beer weekend I had? Am I actually trying to help my body by taking two days off? Or am I testing myself to see if I can stay home on the week nights and maybe get something accomplished at home (besides writing these hopefully entertaining entries)? I’m not sure, guess only time will tell. To be honest with you, just getting these thoughts in my pea brain was hard enough. Especially when I have a drink chip sitting on my dresser that’s worth one free pitcher of beer. So say I went up to the corner, do you really think it would be a free night for me? Why hell no, I’d end up having the free one and three more, but then I would be sleeping well tonight (see how my brain twists things around, no matter how small it may be). I’m going to try to stick with the game plan for now, but if I sleep for shit again tonight I won’t be a happy camper.

No Beer, No Sleep

WHAT THE HELL?! Is this how normal people sleep? Get in bed at 11:30, toss and turn till 2:30, wake up at 5:30 and dose off an on till 8:00? What a bunch of crap. Just because I want to be a good boy for one evening and not have any alcohol, this is how I pay for it? Not to mention the funky ass dreams I was having in the 3 hours I was actually asleep. In one I was at a hotel conference for work, I was on the ground floor by the water cooler when I noticed there was water all over the floor. I figured I spilled it (I can be a klutz) and tried to clean it up when I saw a stream of water coming down from the ceiling. As I head for the door the whole ceiling bursts with water streaming from everywhere, I can barely see where I’m going. I race out the lobby door as thousands of gallons chase after me. For 30 minutes people limped out and surveyed the damages. The second dream, I was in the kindergarten room at my grade school. I’m my current age and I’m working on a project with classmates who I haven’t seen in over 10 years. And this project was stressful, we were all pulling our hairs out trying to complete a 50 page something or another, I don’t remember exactly what it was. This is weird because I rarely have dreams, usually just snore the night away in a comatose state. Almost got up at 1:00 to go to the bar for an hour, figured that might do the trick but I decided against that. So what the fuck do I do? I went for a 40 minute jog at 9:30 so I should have been tired by 11:00. And I was tired, just couldn’t get to sleep. Have I trained myself to pass out at 12:00 every night with my corner bar festivities? Anyone have any suggestions? Two days in a row of this and it’s definitely back to the beer.

Emotional (And Liver) Cleansing

Tonight I had to abstain from the usual schedule, couldn’t bring myself to partake in the evening festivities at the local bar, not after the weekend I just had. Somehow I went through $200 on $5 pitchers and $14 30 packs. Yes my friends, it was a rough weekend. I don’t know which was worse, the most fun moving day ever of Sunday or the start at 11:30 4th of July party. Sunday was 4 by 12:30, the friend who was moving drove me to a liquor store for a 6 pack, finished that while moving, had 6 more at her new apartment, and 8 while swimming in the apartment pool. 22 by 7:00. And then had 2.5 pitchers of beer at the local bar. Not sharing 2.5 pitchers, just me sucking them down. Tuesday I was at a party so I couldn’t be the quiet/boring me of Monday, made it a point to slop down all that I could. You’d think I’d be hurling my guts or spinning in bed but I can’t remember the last time I puked and I’m out like a light when I hit the pillow. Which brings me to Wednesday, ate dinner, took an hour nap while my clothes were in the washer, only thing that made me get up and not crash for the whole evening was the drying and folding of the clothes. I figured since I was up and I had horribly abused my body over the weekend that a jog was in order, forced myself to go farther than usual as punishment. I folded all my clothes while I was cooling off from the jog and now everything is in its proper place. The only dirty clothes I have are the ones I jogged in. I’m pretty proud. I think the bar is closed tomorrow so I might possibly have two consecutive days of not drinking, last time I did that was… like I can remember that. After a good night sleep tonight (hopefully, maybe not without alcohol in my system) I’ll be at the gym tomorrow morning and during lunch time, again beating myself up for the weekend. But the gym should be exciting, I’ll be checking out my pool tan in the mirrors, I should be pretty hot! Make your own decision on if I’m kidding on that one.

If you get a chance check our Shandoll’s blog (drunk and single in nyc link) from today, pretty funny yet disturbing shit as usual. She’s moving out of her NY apartment and has a realtor showing it to perspective tenants.

Weekend Of The 4th

Fourth of July weekend, where do I start? Spent most of the weekend sitting by the pool drinking beer, my forehead’s a little red today. Had some friends over on Monday for a cookout, they brought tons of stuff (burgers, chicken, potatoes) and I stuffed myself to the max. And this was after having 2 chicken breasts and corn on the cob 3 hours earlier. So we’re all at the Monday karaoke, bloated and just making it worse with the beer. But after the second pitcher we start to liven up. Someone busts out a camera and the night takes off. There were pictures with my head sandwiched between four boobs, my hand on another large set (they were all large, what’s up with that?), a woman’s face planted in my crotch while her boyfriend is bending her over from behind, it got a little wild. People were buying rounds of shots of 10 for everyone, that escalated the photo shoot to include bare breasts and kissing (no, not my bare breasts and unfortunately I wasn’t doing the kissing either). Someone mentions after party (my house) and I’m glad I have beer in the fridge. But by the end of the night everyone was too hammered to come over, probably a good thing since the 4th party started at noon. Monday I was pretty worn out from Sunday and was abstaining from beverages during the day. I’ve since been told that sober me is boring. So for the 4th party, I don’t want to be boring, I start the party going at noon with four quick beers on an empty stomach. Yeah, I can tell it’s going to be a good day. We get to the pool and it’s just three of us, and of course I’ve dated both of them. We’re telling funny stories about the past and present, the beer is flowing quickly (we didn’t have a cooler so I had to drink fast), we must have been a little loud since a girl and her mom moved a couple chairs away from us. A hot 40ish woman next to us asks if she can have a beer (what is it with hot 40ish women?), I talk to her just a bit. End up in the hot tub making out with the hot 40ish woman, no, I’m just kidding on that one, ha, ha. So it was a pretty decent four day weekend, I’ll try to clean out the cobwebs and see what else I can remember later.

Saturday Night

Last night was good, worked the door at Kreepo's for the second time, nothing exciting (which is good), had the old ladies smiling and winking at me (oh boy). Old self came out just a bit and inquired to people in the know about two broads, both were at least 7 years older than me, but I was a good boy and didn't act on anything (I think I'm actually in a growing phase). Got off at 1:00, sat at the corner drinking free beer till who knows when, still a bit dazed from the Friday conversation (I was not very personable last night, people were asking me if I was ok, yeah, just thinking too much, I try not to do that too often). Manager at Kreepo's asked me about the hot date on Friday, man, word must travel fast. Had a couple peeps come over after close, stupid online poker site gave me $40 in free money, let a bud play it since I have no urge to play poker anymore (dude I suck and it's depressing when I get my ass kicked). So today I'm helping a friend move (in one hour), I hope she doesn't have too much shit. A past sleepover partner, and I'm helping her move with her ex husband who's a police officer, officers and I don't go well together, not that I don't like them but I'm usually in trouble when I see one. I don't think I'll mention anything about sleeping with his ex wife, especially if he's packing heat. Couple drunk peeps at the bar last night, I have another ex girl's car in my driveway, I'm not driving today so that's ok. But I should put something on her car, still debating what. Hopefully she comes to pick it up when I'm not home. If I had 35" tires on my Jeep like the college friend had I could put my back tires on her hood (Toyota Carolla, wouldn't be that hard). Friend's daughter is walking over to my house right now, had some funny ass pictures of her dad passed out with make up on and toes painted, way too funny. She told me to put on a shirt (just woke up, no shower, sitting outside with the laptop pirating the neighbors wireless signal), I told her don't be jealous that my boobs are bigger than hers. Friendly banter, she's young but is getting to know my bad sense of humor. Hopefully she emails me the pics, I'll certainly post them on here. His daughters are quickly becoming my friends, almost like I have two more sisters, good girls, just a little misdirected. Made arrangements to work out with one of the bartenders on Monday, he's pretty ripped and I'd like to know what his workout consists of, I'm always looking to learn new things (that interest me, CPA book is still sitting on the living room table untouched). Since I'm not working on Monday I'm not going to make the drive downtown to the gym so meeting up with him will be good. That's about it for now, I'm sure I'll think of more while I'm moving someone else's crap and will be back online tonight. Oh, I think I drunk texted the college friend last night, checked this morning and yes I did, something to the fact that she shouldn't read the blog and that I mentioned us in it (in other words please read the blog and let me know what you think). Hope I don't screw this one up. Peace out homies.

The Friendly Chat

Had a friend over on Friday, I cooked chicken legs on the grill (I'm sure that doesn't surprise anyone). We mostly chat about work and relationships, cars, pretty much anything. I'm surprised she came back for the second visit after all the stories I told her the first time she stopped over. Yeah, you know me, I don't sugar coat any of my stories to make them sound better, just the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. Conversation's going well as usual, the point comes up that it's odd that we can chat the hours away like best friends even though we really don't know much about the other since graduation. We gravitate up to the corner bar, take the long way (little exercise), and plop ourselves down at the same table we were at the last time. The conversation continues till 1:00 am (yes, that'd be 7 hours of constant chatter). Ok, maybe not constant chatter, my mind goes blank a couple of times when she looks at me (very cute, the eyes get me). We're talking mostly about bad relationships we've had and how to avoid them in the future. For the first time in a very very long time I realize that my dating (if you can call it that) is not as good as I thought it was. I used to think having my name on the wall at the bar was cool, but if you really think about why that rule is up there it's not all that cool. Telling stories about my bad relationships/encounters is a little scary both because of the bad situations and number of stories I have to tell. She told me a story about how she found out that a guy she was dating was having sex with 5 other women besides her. Ok, I'll admit, first thought that crossed my mind was pimp, but then I started thinking, the way I'm going, I really don't want to end up being that guy. That guy having what amounts to meaningless sex with a number of women, and that's pretty much what I've been doing for the past year. As the night goes on I start to wonder why I suddenly feel this way. I think it might be because I'm starting to get some feelings for the friend that I really haven't had for anyone in a very long time. We kissed at the end of the night (first time ever) and I was floored. I felt like I was in highschool kissing a girl for the first time. Maybe it was the beer getting to my head but it was the most passionate kiss ever. I would take kissing her over having sex with any of the past dates in a heart beat. And of course I'd have a really tough time trying to explain to her the feelings that I have for her because I haven't had those feelings for quite some time, I'm having a hard time explaining them to myself. So here I am, in uncharted territory, and I don't know what the hell to do. For now I'll just hope and pray that I get to kiss her again soon.

Becoming A Dirty Old Man

On Friday I was walking back from the mall, nice sunny day, little breezy, the Chase bank sign said 75 degrees. I noticed there was a woman sitting in the park on a picnic table accross the street She had a pair of those trendy (ugly) sunglasses that cover up half your face so I had no idea how old she was. On the second glance I see that she's sitting with her legs crossed and the wind is tossing her skirt around. Ok, I guess you can't really call them glances because by now my eyes are glued on her. I get to the point where I'm directly accross the street from her, check the traffic (thankfully none), and proceed to cross the street mid block. Great view, wind is still doing it's job, I'm catching a lot (lot) of leg and upper thigh. And then she notices me. I pretend to check my watch, glance back at her and she's still looking at me. I check traffic (I know there isn't any), glance back at her and she's still looking at me. So now what do I do? The thought crosses my mind to just walk up to her and say hi. But then again she knows I just crossed the street mid block to check her out. Is she thinking what kind of a dirty old man I am for pulling a stunt like that? Or not, she wasn't doing anything to prevent the skirt from flying up. The world may never know the answer, of course my pussy ass kept on walking back to work. The thought pops in my head that I need to buy a camera to record incidents like this, but does that even further entrench me in the dirty old man class? Proud to be one of the youngest dirty old men in the world.