How I Feel Today/Self Portrait

Damn, think I missed.

New Years Resolution/Diet

I know a lot of people make New Years resolutions. I started smoking on New Years Eve, just can't remember what year it was. Girl the FA set me up with, thanks for the early retirement, buddy. Roth IRA check is in the mail.

"Diet", at this time of year, relates more to people wanting to lose weight. Diet to me means what I shove down my mouth. Some weeks, when chicken pot pies are on sale for $.50 a piece that's all I eat. Breakfast, lunch, dinner, that's it, same meal. This week they had chicken breasts on sale for $1.88 a pound. I bought three big packages. That's all I've eaten since noon on Sunday. And one would think, just eating chicken breasts, that I would lose weight. I don't know if this is hapenning, I don't typically stand on a scale.

But I have been shitting a lot. A lot. Not solid either. You'd think, straight chicken, your body would cope with something easy like that. Not mine.

I had to change it up with a frozen pizza tonight, see if the system has any problems with that.

Or the red peppers I put on it.

On E...

The Renter and I work at the same place. We car pool. We won't get into that now. Got in her car, 2 miles till empty. 6 miles home. I'm sweatin'. We passed 8 gas stationes, she doesn't pull over. Got home ok, by chance, and every thing was ok till...

Renter: Can I use your phone, mine's dead.

I left my phone at home, forgot it.

Neither of us had a working phone on us.

Needless to say I wasn't walking for gas.

Good Week

I've stayed home mostly this week, as evidenced by the stack of empty beer cans on my kitchen counter. Currently, 1:00 on Saturday, I'm trying to get the Renter to drive me somewhere that has beer as I'm out. This better work as I'm still drunk and can't drive to go get more beer. Fingers crossed.

Black Friday 58" Plasma

Somehow the Renter got me to go out on Black Friday and I bought a 58" plasma TV with 0% for 36 months. No big deal, ended up costing me $1 a day. But I noticed it puts out a lot of heat. It had an energy star symbol on the box but with the heat it puts out...

My electric bill has been $30 higher than usual lately. I've been staying home three days a week, as opposed to boozing it up out on the town (hole in the wall that still allows smoking), so I've been saving money. But the "energy star" TV the sits four feet sway from the thermostat is making the house cold. Namely, when I go to bed at night my room is not (undisclosed low heat reading). No, it's much colder. Thankfully I have a little puppy to keep me warm but still, f'ing cold. Turning on my space heater will only jack the electric bill up higher. Kind of like getting a ten and a six at blackjack.

NBA Owners

Seriously, is Carmello Anthonthy really worth LaBron Jamesd money? Really? I don't think so. The new CBA will take care of that. He should sign that extension while he still can.

Lighter

So I'm at a work party, some chick who came with a guy who doesn't even work for us anymore "borrowed" my lighter an hour ago. Of course I'm anal and have two lighters on me but should I go all petty on her and ask for it back?

A Friend For Puppy

I don't do much for Christmas. I don't buy gifts. I don't receive gifts. I try to see mom and dad at least once over the holidays. Once is enough.

With dad leaving for Florida this month I made a point to invite him and Butthead over. (I must have been a rough older brother to get my sister to answer to Butthead.) I asked if they could bring dad's two dogs since I really hadn't seen them much since he moved out.

When the crew arrived there was mass chaos. All three dogs were screaming around my living room. There was some growling but mostly play wrestling. Puppy had a blast while they were there.

Saturday, after having two pichters the Renter took me to the puppy store on 86th St. They had two puppies in the window, the cutest, most docile of which is pictured at the top of this post. Very nice dog, nine weeks old, great personality. The combination of not wanting to spend $425 and potty training a puppy in the winter months brought me to decide not to take any action. I really don't need another dog, as cute and cuddly as she was. So life, while on the edge for a bit, is back on even keel. Just the way I like it.

Excuse Me Sir...

It was snowing. The streets were shit, the sidewalks even worse. I had my dress shoes on with little to no grip.

I was on the way back from city hall after picking up a check for work. It wasn't cold but it was windy, snow blowing in my face. I heard a woman talking from accross the street.

"Sir? Sir?"

I looked over. To my surprise she was actually beckoning me.

"Do you have a cigarette I could borrow?"

Did she really think I was going to cross the street to "borrow" her a cigarette? How exactly does one "borrow" a cigarette? Was I going to catch up with her tomorrow?

What goes through these peoples' heads?

Poor, Neglected Blog

Dear blog,

I'm sorry I haven't paid much attention to you so far this year. I wish I had a good, solid reason as to why this has happened but I don't. Basically, my life has been pretty boring lately and I don't have much to share/laugh about. That and the only reason I turn on my laptop is for porn and not posting to your site. Sorry, porn conquers all.

Another reason you and I haven't been that close lately is that, I know you won't believe it, but I quit drinking for 3.5 days. Dear blog, you really haven't witnessed this before, but when I'm not drinking I tend to be rather dull personality wise. I don't crack jokes, I don't talk much, and I certainly don't pee myself (as often). Besides lifting weights after work, all I've done this week is watch TV and play on my phone. I know I could have spent some of that time updating/sharing with you, but it just didn't happen. And trust me, I thought about everything I could share as I tossed and turned for three sleepless nights (sobriety sucks). It wasn't that bad spending time with Puppy and just chilling out, but tossing and turning in bed even after staying up till midnight was killing me. I think Puppy even gave me the stink eye after waking her up for the 50th time on Wednesday.

But all is not lost. After not getting any sleep for three days I said enough is enough. I worked out Thursday after work and promptly cracked open a beer. Four beers later and it was off to the bar. Yes, back to the good 'ol routine! I plan on having many stories of me pooping myself or falling down a flight of stairs in the near future. And since I stopped going to the gym during lunch I might even take some time out and fill you in more often.

Just don't get mad at me when I try this little Monday-Thursday sober thing again next week.

Sincerely,

B to the...

My New Years Eve

3:30 - Got to the bar

6:45 - Left the bar

7:00 - Peed myself walking the dog

11:30 - Almost peed myself again trying to get out of my room after taking a nap

2:00 - Went to bed after watching Hitch

My exciting life. Fairly normal, except for the peeing myself.