Right Turn, Clyde

Most people won't know this movie reference. Sad shame. As much as I dislike my Dad right now, he raised me well movie wise.

The Renter and I have a new coffee maker, programable. When we set it it makes coffee at 7:15 in the morning. Good shit.

Making a left hand turn, on a busy street, I say:

Me: Don't touch your co...

As I have to shift into second gear. Needless to say someone's fingers got pinched. I tried to give warning, but...

No Means No

I have a friend who used to live accross the street. He's a little slow but yet good natured. He's always willing to help and I appreciate that. I gave him $20 for ten minutes of work to clean my gutters because I don't likme heights. I try to help the guy out whenever I can.

Today leaving work it had to be 60 degrees outside. I was thinking I could lift weights and sit outside till at least 7:00. But mother nature wasn't having it and after grilling some ribeyes for dinner the temperature dropped, too cold for Pupy and I to sit outside with a shivering fur ball on my lap. But that wasn't going to stop my friend.

Our five minute conversation:

Friend: Are you going to watch the Brewer's outside and have a fire?

Me: No, it's too cold.

Friend: But I have a box of wood for thefire pit!

Me: No, it's too cold.

Five minutes of that. The guy wouldn't take no for an answer. Can't wait till it gets warm outside.

Me: I need a BJ first.

Really don't want to know his answer to my request in jest.

2:00 4/23/2011

Christ (Good Friday being yesterday and all), I'm four beers in to the day and already feeling the effects. Guess Southern Comfort on the rocks wasn't a good idea for a night cap. At least it wasn't a school night.

If Only I Had Tivo

Some broad at the Brewer's game held up a sign, "Marry me, Ryan Braun", with her phone number listed. They showed it on TV, along with her reaction as her phone blew up with calls/texts. She was shocked to say the least.

Wish I had Tivo, be able to go back and get the fat bitch's number. Would have told her to lay off my man.

Sunglasses Galore!

I hopped in the Renter's car Thursday morning to go to work. I drive three days a week, she drives two and to any local pub within a mile on the weekends. So no, I don't get out much but I have 18 hours of porn on my phone so don't worry about me.

Thursday was different from the norm. Being 6'5", my head tends to hover near the headliner in any car. I noticed things that looked like bats swooping down at me.

Nope, just the Renter's sunglasses hitched on the ceiling.

Ryan Braun, Signed Through 2020

When I heard that Ryan Braun signed a five year extension to add on to the five years he already has left, well, I was running around the office with my fist in the air. My coworkers, non sports fans, just looked at me like I was crazy, even more so than usual.

Puppy Haircut

Last Sunday the Renter and I took Puppy over to the FA's house to get her a haircut. The FA's wife does a lovely job trmming dogs. Pretty much the only person I would take Puppy to. And damn if Puppy doesn't look cute. The only problem, while looking like a prom queen, she doesn't have much insulation. I had to turn the heat up past the usual 60 degrees and put a sweater on her. Hopefully our Wisconsin weather will cooperate in the coming weeks.

Catch 22

Along with the rather nice weather last night came a rather warm, fuzzy feeling. I started drinking right at 5:30 when I got home from work. Had the cooler filled full, Puppy on the leash, all set for a good evening. After the Brewer's won 6-0 I watched a movie on Netflix until 11:30. I went to bed, managed to put my left contact lense into the side with the big "R" and went to bed.

I felt like shit all day. Since I took Friday off there were things I had to get done so I went about my work, making sure to double check every calculation. After my 3:00 poop I looked in the mirror and I looked like shit. 5:00 couldn't come soon enough.

When I got home I assessed the damage. 22 beers were unaccounted for. I had no idea I had 22 beers, on a school night nonetheless. I have to start keeping track of the beers this summer, hopefully making a 30 pack last two whole nights.

Love/Hate Relationship

6:00 Brewer's games. Either I get home, let the dog out and hit the weights in the basement for 30 minutes and get ready for the start or I get ready for a lazy evening outside (fill the cooler, make cigarettes). Since it was still 60 degrees when I got home I opted for the latter. Supposed to be 40 on Friday so I figured I'd take advantage of the nice weather. I can always hit the weights later in the week.

Speaking of which, it seems like every 12 months I put too much weight on the bench and tweak something in my upper back, right where the edge of the bench would be right below the weight. I only had 225 on the bar last week but I'd wince in pain right now if I tried to cradle a phone between my head and shoulder. So I'm sticking to 70 lb dumbells and pushups for the time being. Like I said, I've dealt with this before and it takes a month to clear up.

Sign of getting old?

(turned 34 last month)

AM Radio

How lame is this. I have an eight year old radio at work. The AM stations don't work so I can't get the Brewer's games. But I don't want to pay $20 for a new one because the FM still works perfectly fine. This is the shit I think of in the middle of the night.

Stephon Marbury Tie

For the bargain price of $30.94 (including shipping!) you to could have this wonderful New York Knicks Sthephon Marbury neck tie from the Fox Sports shopping site! What a bargain!

Beer Delivery

I have many issues, maybe more personal problems if you will. I recently found out that I can't sit in a movie theater unless I'm on the end seat. What this means about my next plane flight, since I haven't been on one in five years, I don't even want to think about. Airport security, TSA, I'll end up flipping out and in jail. If not over the confined space, the $8 beers.

I have a thing with people in confined areas. Not even confined areas, just people in general. The general public. I don't know if it's me or them. Normal people buying groceries, going about their daily lives. Me waiting behind them at the checkout, with (just) six 30 packs of beer, I can't deal with it. I don't know if it's because I'm such a degenerate that I need to purchase six 30 packs at once or that these people feel the need to stall my simple purchase (simi arrogant B talking there). I just can't stand waiting in line at the checout. I'd buy more than six 30 packs at a time if I could fit them in my car, trust me.

The Renter thinks I'm an asshole, that I can't wait for other people. Part of her opinion might be true. I am an asshole. I didn't say anything to the little girl who bumped in to me at the bank because she was wandering around with her coat over her head, but I wanted to. "What the fuck?" "Can you watch your kid?" But I needed $300 out of my account, didn't want to piss off the bank tellers.

Last weekend I was at the store, strolling at a snail's pace behind this old lady. By the time I got to the cashier I was a sweaty mess. My fingers hurt from squeezing the life out of the shopping cart.

"Thanks for waiting."

The cashier was making small talk, or so I thought.

"No, no problem." I lied.

"I saw the look on your face. Really, thanks for waiting."

Was it that obvious?

So now I'm left at a quandry. Do I go back to the store with the cheapest prices and have to wait in line? Or I could hit a local liquor store, with no wait, but without shopping carts, make three trips in and out the door to get my weekly fix?

The Renter knows how I am. She's at Sam's Club calling me with things she thinks I might like, deals on bulk items, because she knows I can't spend more than 15 minutes in a store without having an anxiety attack. Surprisingly she's ok with this, not cool with it but she understands.

That said, I'd pay big bucks to have beer delivered to my house every Saturday. And chicken breasts and frozen pizza.

Beer delivery.