Blockbuster Coupon

The FA’s wife sent me this bogus ass coupon for Blockbuster. I sent her the following email.

Come on, get your facts straight before sending something like this out! I only have 24 hours in a day, 8 of which I'm sleeping. That only leaves 16 hours during which I can play with my penis. Now that I have spent 45 minutes driving to Blockbuster only to have the clerk laugh in my face about this fake coupon, well, the way I see it you owe me 45 minutes of play time. Noting the fact that you are married to the man who has access to a lot of my money I suggest we work out some other form of repayment. How about your cousin Katie? You know how she sneers and spits and glares at me every time I see her? Well, that's love, true love baby. Those looks she gives me are just for show. Deep down inside she has a soft spot for me. And I have a hard spot for her. I know I bought the house that she was looking at buying but I think she's forgiven me for that by now. But if you think about it we'd be the perfect match. Seriously, just think about it: I'm having knee surgery, she's a nurse. Dat-da-da-dah!!! Booyah!!! A match made in heaven. I mean, besides strippers and hookers, who sees more penises in their professional line of work? You'd think she'd pretty much know what to do with it. And unlike that black hooker that left me bruised, battered, and beaten (all with a smile on my face), Katie would know how to nurture, caress, and provide for me in my time of need.

I don't like breaking legs or punching women, but there's a debt to be repaid here. Please be prompt in making these arrangements. And tell Katie to bring lube, we're going to need a lot of it.