Joss Stone = Love and Jail

One of the headlines I read today:

Oh La La! Hottest Live Earth Performances

Joss Stone: The soul-bearing crooner has a beautiful voice -- among other things. And fortunately for us, she showed off her amazing body ... of work ... during the Johannesburg, South Africa, Live Earth show.

And then, after doing a little research, I found out that Joss Stone is only 16 years old.

I’ve been known to check out a nice ass or two. Unfortunately a nice ass might be attached to a girl who is still in high school. It’s not that I go out of my way to check out younger women, just that the nicer cheeks are sometimes attached to pre-21 girls. So, here goes my list of different situations that might help you determine if the fine ass/rack combo that you’re checking out is indeed of age or not.

1. Fine ass/rack combo coming out of a grocery store with a twelve-pack of beer – definitely of age unless she showed some cleavage to purchase the beer – pursue her.

2. Fine ass/rack combo coming out of a grocery store with her with her mom and brother – probably not of age, most 18-yr-old girls don’t hang out with their mothers – wait till mom turns her back to pursue.

3. Fine ass/rack combo playing at a park with some friends – not even close to being of age – view from afar with binoculars if necessary.

4. Fine ass/rack combo at a park smoking weed with her friends – more than likely of age – pick up some beef sticks in case they have the munchies.

5. Fine ass/rack combo who happens to be your 18-yr-old sister’s friend – 95% sure she’s of age – don’t pursue unless she and your sister have a fight and aren’t talking to each other.

6. Fine ass/rack combo who happens to be your 16-yr-old sister’s friend – 95% sure she isn’t of age – go in your room and whack off as this one is definitely off limits.

7. Fine ass/rack combo walking out of a high school – one in four chance of being of age – slow down as you drive by.

8. Fine ass/rack combo walking out of a high school wearing a cheerleading outfit – one in four chance of being of age – cheerleading outfit, you make the call.

9. Fine ass/rack combo working at McDonalds – more than likely not of age – flirt just to get some free fries.

10. Fine ass/rack combo working at a strip club – ding, ding, ding, definitely of age – bang the shit out of her.

And lastly...

11. Fine ass/rack combo at your local bar – 99% sure she’s of age – you’re asking the wrong person what to do in this situation, I have absolutely no game whatsoever.