Ron Artest/Email

An emergency protective order obtained by sheriff's officials prevents Artest from returning to his home or contacting the woman until she can obtain a restraining order. [Detective] Scott said this was normal procedure.

Ok, so let me get this straight. A female friend (one report said wife) of Ron Artest breaks the windshield of his Hummer with a frying pan (classic!), he gets upset (maybe a slight understatement), and now he can’t go back to the home I’m pretty sure he paid for without the help of the female friend (NBA players make BANK!). Uh, yeah. I’m sorry, but if you shatter the windshield in my Jeep you’re going to have something coming to you, simple as that. My question, with the restraining order, is he not allowed in his house ever? If I were him I’d have my posse kick her ass out (politically correct = secure the grounds), change the locks and shoot off the flare when everything is good to go. Oh my gosh, I have just found my calling: Professional Ballplayer Representative (PBR for short, business cards would be blue, of course). I could offer possible suggestions to important players when they get put in a bad situation like this. And I could do it with a clear conscience ‘cause you know it’s NEVER their fault.

As for the previous post, I apologize for my stupidity. I realized today that any eligible women would have to post a comment on this blog for all to read if they wanted to contact me regarding the foursome/threesome/twosome/(more likely) onesome. So I have set up singleatthecorner@hotmail.com. Again, I’m sorry for not thinking of this before. But now you can send me your offers discretely; no one will know but me. And, you know, I’m kind of a fan of boobies so if you want to send me some boobie pictures I’d be more than ok with that.