Contest And Crazy Women

A local radio station here in Milwaukee is running this contest, Squeal or No Squeal (a play off of Deal or No Deal and since the station is called the Hog…). The 29th caller has the option to take $100 or take “No Squeal” and get what’s in briefcase number 2. The prizes in the second briefcase range anywhere from $1 to $5,000. When it first started weeks ago I heard one woman take “Squeal” ($100) and they opened the second briefcase just to see what was in it. And wouldn’t you know it, $5,000. She lost out on $5,000 just to get the guaranteed $100. I don’t know about you but I’d be hurling chunks into my garbage can for the rest of the day. Last week Thursday a guy passed on the $100 and won $5,000. Talk about making your day. But this morning the DJs brought in a new twist. Like usual, they offered the caller $100 or take the second briefcase. The caller passed on it and wanted the other case. The morning DJs have been on the air for many years and have a lot of pull if you know what I mean. So they offered him $200 instead of the $100 and the caller still passed on it. $300, pass. $400, pass. $450 and a six pack of beer. Pass. Are you fucking kidding me? This guy passed on $450, which he didn’t have when he woke up this morning, and wanted the other case which may have had just a dollar in it. Of course it could have had $1,000 or $5,000 in it, but come on, $450 guaranteed is still $450 guaranteed (which calculates to roughly $450). Dumb ass took the other case and won $5. Schmuck. (Yeah, I call this guy a schmuck as I sit here with a decent amount of credit card debt (at 4%) not because I shop or live the lifestyle of a celebrity but because I was addicted to the blackjack tables in Vegas four years ago.)

Last night I walked in to the bar only to hear the bartender tell some woman, “That is B to the…” Apparently she had been reading the Rules of the Bar and asked who #7 was. I had talked with this woman before on a different occasion. She was nice but a little loony. One time G the hairdresser tried to get me to go home with her while he was going to take her mom (because we’re cool like that) but for some reason it didn’t pan out. So after the bartender points me out she said, “I know you. You work next door on Saturday nights. You’re nice in here but you’re an asshole when you’re working.” Sorry bitch, just doing my job. Over the next couple hours she called me an asshole numerous times. When she left for the bathroom I pointed out to the Renter that she had four lighters sitting by her purse. The Renter grabbed one and gave it to me but I told her to put it back because that is just wrong. When loony woman came back the Renter said something to her and she gave me three lighters. Huh? And not just old lighters on their last legs, these were completely full lighters. Again, huh? You just called me an asshole at least four times and now you’re handing over your lighters? I didn’t get it but of course I quickly pocketed them incase she was going to change her mind.

At one point in the evening an even more loony woman walked in the bar. I’m pretty sure she was on something and not just drunk. She walked in yelling on her phone, hung up, and walked right up to Loony #1. “I can trust you, can’t I?” Then she started putting all of her stuff in Loony #1’s purse. Loony #1 didn’t know what the hell to do but pick her shit out of her purse item by item. Crack woman then accused her of taking her money or something like that. Thankfully the bartender kicked her out otherwise I was going to have to take her home and let her blow me for $20. Kidding. I would have given her at least $25. Again, kidding.

And then tonight the Renter and I went shopping at Kohls for some clothes. I got a 20% off coupon in the mail and I needed some work clothes and the Renter needed a winter coat. But… when we were standing in line the Renter decided to switch lines since one appeared to be going faster than ours. Then I smiled at her and waived the 20% off coupon at her. Instead of switching back to my line (I had people behind me) she opted to stay in hers and pay an extra $48 for her shit. I will never understand.