Working Out X 2

A couple weeks ago I saw something on TV about celebrities and their diets/workout plans. I guess numerous celebrities have worked out five or six times a day in order to get in shape for a movie or TV show. Five or six times a day? Isn’t that a bit much? I could see five or six times a week, shit, even I’ve been known to do that on occasion (usually just four though). So I started thinking, I have a Cancun trip coming up, and since I’m not getting any younger and have never actually had visible abs (funny how the beer and double cheeseburgers covers any stomach muscles I might have, and I have been doing the situps), I’m going to up the ante in the weight room and go during lunch and after work. Besides, all the hot chicks workout at night and provide nice scenery. I started this on Tuesday and to be honest with you I don’t know if I can keep it up and it’s only Wednesday. My chest and back are sore from the Tuesday lunch and evening workouts, and now my arms feel like they’re going to fall off after the shoulder and arm workouts today. I still have to ride the stationary bike after I post this and then start the whole cycle over on Thursday. The problem is on Thursday my chest and back will still be sore from Tuesday and my arms and shoulders from Wednesday. Please pray for me as I might be on my death bed by Friday. Either that or I’ll be typing away at my keyboard with my nose (I don’t think my neighbors would like it if I used a different appendage while typing on the deck. Besides, I’d be striking multiple keys with every stroke!).

Ok, strike that, two hours later and I’m ready to crash. I’ve even been told that I don’t look good. All I did was lift weights twice as often as usual for two days and I’m a wreck who can’t even keep his eyes open. I’m even wearing my sweatpants. I haven’t worn sweatpants in a year. There was no way I was going to hop on the stupid stationary bike. Probably would have woken up with a handle bar stuck in my nose. I don’t even have the energy to whack off (ok fine, ya got me on that one). You have to wonder if it’s all worth it (prob not, that’s the worst part). I think I’m just going to sit back and watch the Yankees kick ass tonight. Tomorrow I’ll post the weekend getaway from hell at the old mill.

Oh, and sorry for the sob story yesterday, I know one person cried at their desk, but that episode of the Gilmore Girls really got to me. Shit, same thing tonight watching Friday Night Lights when they huddled around center field and said a prayer (both teams) for the kid who got hauled off on a strecher. I'm a fucking pussy.