Weekend Roundup

Oh my goodness, just because I take a couple days off and don’t post for three days (I’m too loaded over the weekends) I’m getting death threats? What the hell is that about? Fuck you all! And if you’re a hot woman please leave your phone number. Wait, even if you’re just kind of hot please leave your number too. Fuck it, just leave your number.

So Friday I had off of work, a much needed day of relaxation. I woke up and went to G the hairdresser’s shop to get a tan cause I am really just a tall white boy. That being said, why were women asking me to dance this weekend? Can’t they see that I am a tall white boy? Don’t they know tall white guys can’t dance and when they do they stand out like hell because 1) they’re tall and 2) they’re doing some movements that looks like a cross between having a convulsion and actually having a convulsion (Renter said I can’t even do the “Shoulder Lean” correctly). I got my tan and sat and chatted for 45 minutes. G keeps a bottle of vod in his shop so we had Vault and vod. By 3:00 I was loaded and needed to go home to take a five hour nap. Woke up around 8:00 and went back up to the bar but I don’t think I made it past 12:00. Saturday I was in recovery mode for most of the day. I had to work at the old folks lounge at night so I needed to take it easy. Around 6:00 I headed up and chatted with the bartender for two hours before I had to go home and shower. The old folks lounge was packed with people, and not all of them had to go back to the nursing home after the show. So what does B do? B hits on older women. I had one woman coming over to talk every 30 minutes and a different one swinging by every hour. B the doorman leaves all the old women wet with his youth and sexual vigor. W (40ish black woman with the softest lips) was leaving at 1:30 and I stopped her telling her I still had an hour left of work and she had to wait. She said she was going down to the casino since she had won $700 the night before. You should have seen the look on her face when I told her I’d call her when I was done with work. I’ve never seen someone jump so fast to look for a pen in her purse. She even gave me both her home and cell phone numbers. So I’m thinking cool, I should be getting some tonight. But no, that’s not the case as I couldn’t get a hold of her. The renter told me I was crabby. No fucking shit. I shouldn’t have just told you all that, I have this great internet image to keep up and I don’t think it includes not getting laid by 40 yr old women.

Sunday was the typical football Sunday with beer and free food a plenty. They had some very good beef, mashed potatoes, and some veggies. After chowing down all I could and trying to empty the barrel by myself my brain shut off. The remaining hours involved a fairly big dice game at which I started with $20 and woke up this morning with $170 plus $100 in $1s. Sweet.

I have a cruel joke/treasure hunt to share with you tomorrow. I’m really proud of it.