Gym Whores

I wish I knew more about setting up this stupid site because I’d like to set up one of those poll things (why doesn’t Microsoft make a version, Office products are a breeze to use. So why do employers always ask if you know how to use them?).

My poll would simply be: why do women wear skin tight revealing clothes that may or may not cover their stomachs/legs/ass cheeks in the gym? Does it make them feel sexy? Is it easier to work out in (I guess I always wear tank tops, so…)? Do they want men to check them out as they are pumping their asses on the stairmaster? Should I feel wrong and dirty when I sneak a peek (or stand and drool like usual)? Now don’t get me wrong, I am in no way complaining. Shit, once school started this fall (not that I’m in school) I completely switched around my workouts so I can spend as much time in the cardio/machine room instead of the actual weight room. Funny how they always put the machines and dumbbells on one end and have the cardio equipment in the middle facing the other wall where the TVs are.

Yeah, I’m not checking out your ass, I’m sitting back here watching a TV that’s 100 feet away showing some day time soap opera. Ok fine, I’m checking out your ass, do you mind? I figured you wouldn’t since you are wearing those really short shorts and you have the waistband rolled down so they’re even shorter. Oh, is that a thong sticking out there? Am I supposed to put dollars in there somewhere? Like right over there? Ouch, don’t slap me, I didn’t mean to call you a whore or anything, just a really hot gym stripper. Ah, stop hitting me, I meant it as a compliment, really.

I don’t know if any women read this crap I put on this lamer-than-my-sex-life site (ok, it’s closer to a toss up), I think all the pictures of turds that I’ve posted might have driven them away (although I did like the name “Mad Shitter”). Oh, and I haven’t had a solid shit since I took that picture, I think I’m cursed (just a little too much information?). Speaking of cursed, someone gave me 24 condoms three weeks ago, do you think I’ve had a chance to use any of them? I mean with a woman. So I think the condoms are cursed, maybe I actually have to pay for some to bang a broad. Pay for the condoms that is, not pay for the sex, but now that I think about it, if the price is right…

Anyway, funny how that got off topic in a hurry. Please lend me your thoughts on the workout clothes subject. I just want to know if I can stop feeling dirty and look at college girls asses without remorse. Oh, and can I do this in 11 years when I’m 40? 50?