Sunday Football

G the hair dresser was telling me more stories last night. Oh my goodness (PG rated version). Everything from his brother knocking out three guys over a parking spot to things I can’t even post on here. I was supposed to watch some college football with him today but we me up early and he’s sleeping now, fuck you hair dresser. If I ever write his book it will be good, as long as some editor fixes all my fuck ups and makes it interesting.

So I’ve taken one step closer to being gay (I think my pink shirt started it all), I bought a camera today. Never owned a camera before but I figured it’s time, Cancun is less than two months away, and I’ve never brought pictures back from Cancun. Last time I was there I was with two chicks who were getting their hair braided by two locals. They said they’ve never seen a white penis before (I would have easily fucked either of them in a heartbeat, I ain’t picky), so I pretended to pull down my pants and they both grabbed their camera phones to take a picture but I only showed my white ass, much to their dismay. So B didn’t get none that night, stayed out till 6:00 am when the girls had to catch their flight and went back to the hotel. Yeah, I’m a pussy. I need another week down there all by myself (done it twice) and just mingle with the locals (although the last time I did that I had to call a co-worker who was coming down the next week and bring me some extra cash as I spent just a little too much at the strip club since I was getting a little lonely). I’m a slut, I know.

I was paying tribute to Tu-Pak this morning, blasting Makaveli and doing the white boy dance. Moved on to Too Short (greatest rapper ever) and currently shivering on the deck. Ok, just put a sweatshirt on, much better. Fall is good but winter sucks, just around the corner. I’m sure the peeps from Chicago and Madison can relate.


It’s finally here! Sunday NFL regular season football is in full swing. I started my Sunday by doing laundry and mowing the lawn, getting the usual weekend chores out of the way. Well, not completely as I now have a humongous pile of clean clothes in my room and can hardly walk anywhere but they’re all clean. At 1:30 I was planted in the hair dresser’s usual chair (he was golfing) at the corner bar taking in all the touchdowns and score updates I could catch. Two TVs directly in front of me with huge 320 lb men beating the crap out of each other and a cold pitcher of beer; I was in heaven. The Packers looked like shit (pretty much knew they would) but I still managed to win some money off them. They have a quarterly pool at the corner bar where ten people will sign their names on a sheet and get a random number from 0-9. In order to win the pot (ten people x $5 = $50) your number has to match the combined total of both teams last digit in their score. For example, the Packers first quarter score was 7-0 meaning whoever has #7 wins the pot. Can you guess who had #7? Yup, that’d be the roommate and I as we went in together on the pool (because $5 is way too much to lose). We played the second and third quarters too but didn’t win anything. The last quarter they up the stakes to $10 a player making the pot $100. Roommate and I decided to play again, putting $5 in each. As soon as the numbers were revealed the Bears kicked a field goal to make it 26-0 making the #6 we drew very attractive. Only problem was we had to go 14 minutes in the final quarter with neither team scoring in order to win. We were nervous wrecks for the next 45 minutes real time that it takes a pro football game to play 14 minutes. The whole fourth quarter was really ugly with neither team really coming close to scoring, and when they would Favre would either throw an interception or a penalty flag would negate a big play. We didn’t breathe out sighs of relief until the clock read 0:00 as the Packers were still trying to score even though they were down by 26 (they should have been taking a knee to run the clock out). So even though the Packers lost we still came out ahead for the day. Stayed at the bar watching the night game till about 8:30 and went home as 6.5 hours of drinking beer is about all I can handle (especially after going from 11:30 till 11:30 on Saturday. I’d write about that but I don’t remember it).