Saints And High Maintenance Hoes

Sunday, 3:40 pm and my phone rings. It’s volleyball girl. She wants me to play volleyball at 6:45. I’ve been drinking since 11:00, no I can’t play. I told her this before and she still pretty much demanded that I join as a substitute. I’m guessing she couldn’t get a whole team together and was relying on me to play. Fat chance. Maybe I’ll do it once, need a little practice before Cancun this fall.
Volleyball girl, for some reason she told K that she had been sleeping with K’s boyfriend for over a year now. I haven’t talked to the boyfriend or K yet but I’m still trying to figure out why someone would do this. VB girl is 23, K is 40 and married, BYOB is 44, so it’s not like VB girl is trying to get BYOB all to herself (you wouldn’t think at least). Women, I’ll never understand them so I’ve chosen to give up trying to understand them.

Congratulations to the New Orleans Saints for their win at the refurbished Superdome. Not that I was actually rooting for them or anything, but they had an exciting game with a blocked field goal (poor Mort) and a blocked punt that was returned for a touchdown. The combo package of Deuce and Reggie looks like it could be very effective with a little more practice.

Oh, I spoke with yahoo personal girl/woman today. She emailed me saying she had “windshield time.” Guess that’s her way of saying she’s in the car driving around. So I called her and holy fuck that girl can talk. She talked as much as I do when I’m loaded. During our 20 minute conversation she drove over a curb, told me in depth about her job, and for some odd reason spotted a Marty’s Pizza truck in the drive through of a McDonalds (I know at least one person who will find that funny, trust me). So she’s going trap shooting (scary) after work tomorrow and might swing by the corner bar. While it will be nice to meet her, I know she isn’t looking to actually date (does that mean I can’t slip it in?) and I know the reaction I’m going to get from the bar. Another guy brought in a broad last week Wednesday and everyone was giving her advice on what and what not to do. Man, I have so many not so pleasant but still funny stories about me up there I’m a little worried. “Did B tell you about the time he passed out and hit his head on the door and the bartender swung his legs out so he was all the way out the door?” “Did B tell you about the time the short mixed girl pushed him into the garbage can when he was wasted because he told everyone at the bar she gave him head in the parking lot?” Hey, I didn’t tell, the bartender saw me in her car and didn’t see her head. “Did B tell you about…” Dude, it’s going to go on forever.

Other than that I did the dreaded yard work this evening, raked the leaves (huge black maple), mowed the lawn, pulled some weeds. Oh, it was a blast. Now I’m trying to copy porn off my computer on to CD so I can wipe my computer clean and reload Windows but man, this shits taking forever. Not that I have a shit load of porn on it (well, maybe I do, but I haven’t actually downloaded anything in years, honest), but these 20 minute video clips are sapping my time and strength (this time with my pants on!). Starting to think about just zapping the whole porn collection but that would be just wrong. For the first time ever my no hassle hoes have become high maintenance.