Apology

Ok, I must apologize for the last posting. I’ve had a couple complaints from people in the comment section and even several phone calls. Sorry if you were eating when you saw the pictures in question. But I was really proud of it and wanted to show the world my great talent. Swandad left his comment about being speechless and I stumbled across one of his entries from 2005.

Another highlight: The constant boob-grabbing/exposing that seemed to take place. Now while I am not at liberty to say who was grabbing what and who was exposing what; I can say that I was speechless. And it takes a lot to render me speechless. Must have been something in the beer.

So my turd (why does Microsoft Office not recognize “turd”?) is on the same level of an exposed breast in a semi-public setting? SWEET!!! And, as was the case in Swandad’s post, there must have been something in the beer (of maybe it just was the beer). I’m sorry for publishing what I though was a great achievement, a milestone in life if you will. I was a little sad that I had to flush it but since it was sticking out of the water it was starting to smell a bit. But, I am happy to report that I have been contacted by two video producers who insist that I can make millions making movies for them in the gay porn industry. They reason I can handle even the largest of penises if that big brown turd came out of my ass. Hmmm, let me think that one over…

Saturday night was my first night of being the official doorman at the local old people show lounge. I went out in the morning and got a black collard short sleeved shirt to go with my black pants and washed/dried it to shrink it just a little. The band was pretty good, people were dancing and the night went by smoothly without any incidents (even with me being slightly intoxicated). The crowd was old as usual (I was the youngest by at least 15 years) and they were dancing on the dance floor. There was a woman I had never seen before in attendance. She was pretty for her age and had a pretty nice body. She sat right next to me as her friend had to cancel and she didn’t want to sit alone (sure). So we got to talking a little bit, I honestly do not remember what we talked about, but the fact that she had a daughter that was exactly my age was a little disturbing. How old was this woman? And then I found out she had a son who was older. Oh boy, but of course that didn’t stop me and I continued to flirt. I was actually a little disappointed when she got up and left.

Sunday football had me up at the bar at 11:00 right when they opened. I had planned on grabbing some food right away but scratched that idea out as the first two glasses of beer had me feeling a little funny and I kinda liked it. They were having free food at halftime (1:30) so I figured I could make it that long. Halftime came and left, two heaping plates of spaghetti and meatballs later and I was feeling a little better, but not much. 6:15, seven pitchers of beer later and I was done. I passed out/slept for twelve hours without waking up till the roommate’s alarm went off (and kept going off every ten minutes for a whole hour, bitch). You would think I’d be refreshed or something but that’s not the case.