My Great Accomplishment

After watching the Badger game at the parents house I went home to let the roommate in the house (what’s with women losing their keys?). Knowing something wasn’t right with my system I politely asked the roommate if she had to use the bathroom. At first she hesitated but I convinced her to go. As soon as she got out I ran in only to find the toilet paper missing. The roommate had hidden it somewhere but I wasn’t about to look for it as I was already clenching my cheeks in order to hold whatever it was needing to get out of my body. So I waddled to the closet with my pants around my ankles, grabbed a roll and plunked my ass down on the toilet. Almost immediately this monster turd shoots out of my ass. I took a look down to see what happened and I was like wow, that’s pretty impressive. I yelled to the roommate “You should see this sucker” to which she replied “Take a picture.” I had her go in my room and grab my camera. Pants around my ankles, I stood up and took this photo. But wait, I wasn’t done. Over the next ten minutes I grunted and groaned, sweating my ass off with each push. Here is the end result. The part that is brighter than the rest is sticking out of the water. You might notice that there isn’t any toilet paper in the toilet. Yes, I took these pictures without wiping my ass as TP in the photo would have certainly covered up my masterpiece. The roommate started to gag when I showed her the pictures. “I’ve never seen anything like that in my entire life. Seriously, how can you shit that much at one time. Do you do this every day?” Yes my friends, I do this every day, maybe not to this extreme but more or less so. I know, I’m a sick fucker for putting this on the internet. The roommate won’t be happy when I frame it and hang it in the living room.