Seriously.
This was after three flushes. I thought my shits were spectacular, but this takes the cake.
At the store, buying said beer, eight 30-packs (because that's all my Jeep will hold)...
Cashier: Thirsty?
Me: Just buying in bulk, saving on gas.
Me, thinking: I'm an alcoholic, what the fuck do you care? Want to go out tonight? Or come over to my house since I have all this beer? And get naked? My penis my or may not be operational, you know, being a Saturday and all.
Guy behind me in line: Are you expecting the apocalypse?
Me: No, this is actually a small purchase.
Me, thinking: I usually call ahead of time and they wheel out 30 30-packs for me. Don't give me shit because you have to go back home to your wife and kids, Mr. I have Pampers and tampons in my cart. Asshole.
And now I'm stuck watching HGTV bathroom projects when my bathroom might be 20 square feet (basically enough room for shitting).
No comments:
Post a Comment