Kornheiser, Flying, Trip

On Monday it was reported that Tony Kornheiser was quitting the Monday Night Football crew and was being replaced with Jon Gruden. A lot of people didn’t like Tony on the show and criticized him often. There was a lot of speculation that he didn’t step down as was reported but was forced off the set. His reasoning was that he hates flying and being based out of Washington DC it meant he had to fly quite a bit. Some people don’t buy this. I do. Just look at John Madden and his Madden Cruiser. That guy was driven everywhere. And then there’s me. I haven’t been in an airplane since the summer of 2006. Since I am based out of Milwaukee, WI (“based”, makes it sound more important than “I’ve lived my whole miserable life in this Godforsaken city”), most flights that I would take would have to be routed through O’Hare (Chicago). O’Hare is a short 90 mile drive but if I’m going to be gone for a week I don’t want to leave my car in one of their parking lots for $25 a day. Then I have to find someone willing to drive me there and pick me up. That’s just a big hassle and I don’t like asking people to do stuff like that for me. The other option is to fly to Chicago. Usually the price of the ticket from Milwaukee to Chicago to say Cancun is pretty much the same as a trip from Chicago to Cancun so it doesn’t make any sense to make the drive. But the problem with going from Milwaukee to Chicago is the aircraft they use for the short distance flights. Once inside I can neither stand up straight or walk down the aisle without turning my shoulders one way or the other. Talk about a horrible feeling when you’re in an enclosed container with only one way out and you can’t fully extend any part of your body (I don’t think they’d like it if I popped off the emergency door in a fit of claustrophobia). The longer flights aren’t any better. Even though they might have more top to bottom clearance there is still the leg room issue. Wouldn’t you know it, that little metal strip at the top of the magazine holder lines up directly below my knee cap. Imagine having that digging at you for a three hour flight. Now I know Tony Kornheiser isn’t a big guy or anything, but there are many other reasons why people don’t like flying so I’m going to go on record and say that I believe him. Rock on, Tony!

My own dislike of flying is the main reason why the Renter and I are driving to Arizona tonight. The old roommate and I stayed at this hotel way back in 2005 for one of his work outings (he worked for one of those subprime loan shark companies whose actions are currently crippling our country – but boy were his work shindigs ever nice!). It was a nice place built into the side of a bluff/cliff. Well, they just ran a special for $80 a night so I jumped on it. Looking forward to a week of fun in the sun. Even though I have enough airline miles saved up for two free tickets I just couldn’t bring myself to book them. I’d rather spend 20 hours in a car than three hours cooped up on a plane. At least I can open a window or get off the freeway at any time I choose. American Airlines runs a mile special for Mexico in October, might as well save them for use then. Could you imagine a road trip to Cancun? I’ll fly that one.

On a more serious note, the FA sent me a text yesterday (printed without his permission, of course). “Drinks and a fire on our patio Saturday night? Let me know…” To which I responded, “I’ll be ¾ the way to Arizona.” “The Renter said ½ way. Guess that’s the point she’s planning on kicking u out this time!”

As of Thursday night/Friday morning she wasn’t talking to me for some reason or another and I was quite pissed to find her smoking in the house without any windows open. Mind you we have a puppy with the lung capacity of a small whoopee cushion. Did I mention I got the good deal on the hotel because it was nonrefundable?

Wish me luck, I know I'm going to need it.