Arizona Vacation, Part One

ended up leaving on Friday night at 10:00 pm. The Renter supposedly had the whole timing thing planned out so we'd end up in Arizona at noon on Sunday. Note to all: lots of shit can go wrong on an 1,800 mile road trip.

The Renter was going to start the trip so I had a couple pitchers at the bar watching the Brewers get their asses handed to them by the Twins. 10:00 came and we filled up the tank and headed out. We stopped somewhere around midnight and I had a couple more beers at some hick bar that featured a bunch of 50-year-old people happily singing karaokee. We got back on the road headed towards St. Louis.

Apparently you have to be sober to both drive and to be the co-pilot. we had tossed the Mapquest directions and were going off the navigation feature on our phones. That seemed to work pretty well if you were paying attention to both the screen and the verbal directions. Sober driver, check. Sober co-pilot, not so much a check. I was looking at the screen and at the last moment noticed we were in the wrong lane. I think I got so much as a hand gesture and a grunt before the Renter cranked on the wheel. We hit a half-curb divider and caught a little air. Once we got back on the ground we were sliding sideways down the freeway at 60 mph. Don't ask me how we didn't roll it. We slid like that for a good ten seconds before she regained control and we screa hed to a hault, jumping the curb on the other side of the road. A cloud of tire smoke drifted over the hood and the smell filled the car. We sat there and looked at each other. I got out and checked the tires; they turned out to be ok. What a way to start the trip with St. Louis Slider.

The rest of the trip was less exciting, thankfully. Sure, there was the monsoon in Missouri and the one lane mountain freeway that was under construction in New Mexico and thank you Oklahoma for charging us $13.50 for letting us use your fine freeways. We typically slept at rest stops and gas stations. We got in to Phoenix around 11:00 am on Sunday. So here I sit by the pool plugging away on my phone just to let you all know that we made it safely (somewhat) and I'm enjoying what must be 95 degree weather sitting by the pool, cooler full of Budweiser within arms reach. Just marvelous.