Why I’m Single?

I found this some where out there on that world wide internet thingy. I think it might explain why I jack off all the time, er, I mean why I'm single.

Q. My boyfriend and I have been dating for three months. I have noticed that he does not use a washcloth when he showers. When he stays the night and takes a shower in the morning, I give him a washcloth, but after he’s dressed I notice he has not used the washcloth. As a result, I think he does not wash his backside very well and I smell him. When he sits on the couch an odor is left behind, and as he stands I catch a strong whiff. How do I tell a grown man to wash his backside?

A. I am not sure the washcloth is the issue. There are many ways of washing well, washcloth or no washcloth. Your boyfriend could start using a washcloth and it might not change a thing.

People have definite ideas about the way one should clean one’s self. It is often something they grew up with and they assume everybody else does it — or should do it — the same way.

In the coming together of couples, many find that their partner’s hygiene rituals are peculiar or even off-putting.

But here, the issue is more that you are smelling an offensive odor. People have great differences in the sensitivity of their noses. Some prefer for their partners to be nearly aseptic, while others don’t care, or even notice, if their partner smells ripe. Also, some people quite like smelling their own body odor.

As you know, olfaction is a huge factor in attraction. It is helpful, and even necessary, to like your partner’s smell.

Then again, your situation sounds extreme. You are talking about more than body odor. It may be that your boyfriend is truly unaware of his bad hygiene habits. It’s hard to be attracted to someone who is unhygienic and who even has fecal material on him.

I don’t know what the truth is — whether you are especially fastidious or he is truly smelly. But, in terms of making this relationship work, that doesn’t matter. You must address this. Otherwise, you will become increasingly repelled, he will feel increasingly rejected and that will be the end of that.

This topic is tough, but a resolution is necessary. If this persists as an issue for you, you will be put off and won’t last as a couple. Nor will you succeed as a couple if you can’t talk about difficult things.

Dr. Gail’s Bottom Line: An indelicate hygiene problem with one’s partner will cause a breakup if it is left unaddressed.