"My best feature is my beautiful blue eyes. That is the best thing I have going for me."
Huh? If that’s the best thing you’ve got going for you, hell, you must be homeless and only have three limbs. Sure, I could see someone from Zimbabwe writing that because saying “I live in a straw hut with my mom and eight siblings and like my worms crispy” really isn’t much of a turn on. In that case, sure, your beautiful blue eyes might actually be the best thing going for you if only because all your brothers and sisters have brown eyes.
Seriously, ladies, if you want to attract the guys all you have to do is include the words “suck” and “anal” and “swallow” and “fuk” in your personals ad. Make sure you misspell “fuck” or the bad word finder will reject it. Oh, and if for some reason “anal” gets rejected too, just use “back door” or “rear entry” instead.
God, people should be paying me for this advice.
(No people from Zimbabwe were injured during the creation of this post.)
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