Band-Aid

The weather man called for rain all weekend. Relying on the weather report I put the newly acquired 10'x20' canopy up on the deck. After I got it all set up I stood back and looked at the monstrosity; it was pretty freaking big. But, if it was going to rain, my ass would be more than covered.

It sprinkled a little bit on Thursday, nothing too serious. It didn't rain again till Saturday morning and then it only rained for three hours. I had brought my matress out from my room and had slept outside so I was thankful for the shelter. It leaked a little bit but what can you expect for $180. I bought some silicone sealant on Saturday and doused the canvas seams.

I didn't see a cloud in the sky after noon on Saturday. I could have been basking in the sun catching some rays but no, the weather man fucked me over. I could have taken the canopy down but it was an adventure putting it up for the first time. I wasn't exactly ready to go through the process of taking it down after having it up for just two nights.

It seemed to get dark sooner since the canvas was dark green. Apparently candles really are made just for women and gay guys because I burned the fuck out of my thumb trying to light four of them. I was doing fine until I got to the last one when my then hotter than hell lighter decided to make contact with my thumb. It hurt like a bitch right off the bat. By Sunday you could see the patch of skin that was turning white. It looked like it was pretty deep. Not good.

Monday afternoon it was ready. The skin was hard and dead, just ripe for the picking. I used my teeth and knawed at the tip of my thumb like a rat. A piece of skin a half inch long peeled off like butter. I figured it was better to get the dead skin off sooner so it could heal faster. What I didn't plan on was having this piece of raw meat exposed right on the tip of my thumb. There wasn't much left. I could squeeze my thumb and the raw skin would bow out like a balloon. I went to the cabinet at work and grabbed a Band-Aid to cover it up just in case.

Later in the afternoon I had to use the bathroom. For some reason I missed the 11:30 crap and had held it all the way till 4:00. I immediately realized that wiping my ass was going to be a problem with a Band-Aid covering most of my thumb. I went down for the first swipe without any problems. I went in for the second swoop and came back with a fecies smeared sheet of toilet paper that was stuck to the Band-Aid! I tried to flail my hand but that just made the toilet paper unravel and (yuck) graze the stall leaving trace evidence. I had to use my other hand to get the toilet paper off of my thumb. It went like this for every other wipe. Not much worse than having a poopy piece of toilet paper stuck to your thumb in a confined space.