Missing Something in Life

I’m usually content with everything that happens in my life. I have delicately crafted my environment and lifestyle to give me a steady and stable base to stand on. Without this base I’d be a wreck. I’ve seen what happens to people who aren’t stable and I didn’t want that to happen to me.

For starters, I have a good job. I love my job as much as anyone can love their job (although I must say those porn guys have it pretty good).

I live cheaply. I don’t just go out and buy shit that I don’t need with the 61” TV being a huge exception. My Wrangler is paid off and I have no plans of getting rid of it. I haven’t really taken a vacation in two years. I recently paid $30 for a pair of Adidas.

Living cheaply allows me to spend $25 a day at the corner bar (God that’s $9,000 a year – fuck). This, my friends, gives me great pleasure. I’d be lying to you if I said it was mostly the atmosphere that gives me pleasure because come on, I love my beer. Hell, I’ve actually broken up with girlfriends in the past over beer. You have to keep your priorities straight. Since I like everything stable and constant, what’s more stable, some broad who takes it in the ass or a nice cold pitcher of Miller Lite? Yeah, I don’t need any drama in my life. But some wild anal sex every once in a while wouldn’t hurt.

But something still seems to be missing. One might point out that I don’t have a significant person in my life. You’ve read this blog, am I really marriage material? And not to brag or anything, but I’ve been good with my money over the years. I don’t plan on giving half of it away.

My family life is as good as it can be considering my sister is four hours away and my parents don’t talk to each other. Hey, I still get dinner at night and bag lunches packed for the next day. I consider that to be a good family life but then again I value food pretty highly.

My house is, well, my house. It’s stable. It’s not exactly clean or anything – some nooks and crannies are downright disgusting – but cleaning sucks. Cleaning ranks right up there with eating pussy, two big no-no’s. I have the deck to enjoy on sunny days and the grill to cook my meat on. While my house isn’t huge or fancy it works pretty well for me. And its 63 steps from the corner bar. Hell, that’s the main reason why I bought it.

Maybe it’s the whole stability thing that leaves me wanting more. Yeah, that’s not it. Knowing you have beer in the fridge, Southern Comfort in the cabinet, frozen pizza in the freezer, and enough money to go out drinking every day is pretty comforting.

Wait a minute, I think I’ve got it. The thing that’s missing from my life is not apparent to the naked eye. Sure, you could observe my daily routine and name a dozen things that most people have that I don’t but that would just be your opinion. It might be right, it might be wrong, but it wouldn’t be the thing that’s truly missing in my life. So ok, are you ready for it? Are you sure?

My left ACL.

I went to the doctor’s office for a follow up visit for the cartilage tear surgery. I sat down, showed her how much I could bend the knee, and assured her everything felt fine. Then she brought out some photos that were taken during the surgery. I had never seen anything like this before and was amazed at the clarity and quality of the pictures. She showed me where the cartilage tear was and how she cleaned it up. And then she flipped to the last picture.

“This is the front of your knee. See this space right here? This is where your ACL should be.”

Huh? Should be?

I guess back in 2001 when I flipped my truck over, besides the broken leg and ruptured spleen and kidney, I tore my ACL. Nobody had ever told me this. I was just under the assumption that my knee was weak due to the rod they stuck in my leg or the MCL surgery I had at the same time. Nope, yours truly has been walking on three ligaments for the past six years. Not only walking but jogging and lifting weights. Well, I guess that’s all going to come to a stop now that I know my ACL is gone. I never did like jogging that much anyway.

The doctor said the procedure for the ACL surgery is much more complex than what I just had done. They take a ligament from a different part of your body and sew it in where your ACL should be. Crutches for three months, no sports for nine, fuck that. I figure if I’ve made it six years without it I can make it another six till I keel over at the ripe old age of 36. Now I have an excuse to not go jogging or do squats.

I think I’m starting to run out of body parts that you can live without when they’ve been removed. Let’s just hope the next one is a pinky toe and not my penis.