Bets and the G-men

Oh, Jenna Jameson. Oh, Jenna Jameson. Oh, oh, oh…

[Ready? Action!]

[Lights go on.]

Zzzzzzzziiiiiiiiiipppppppp!!!!!!!

Welcome back ladies and gentlemen for yet another exciting episode here on The Gravitation to the Corner Bar. [Cheers, applause.] Yes, yes, thank you, thank you very much. In today’s show we are going to cover a topic that I firmly believe in and practice on an all too often basis. The topic for today is the catch up bet.

The catch up bet occurs when your weekend bets on college and pro football totally suck donkey dick. Worse yet, Afghan donkey dick.

My weekend started with West Virginia losing to South Florida. Who? Yeah, that’s exactly what I said till I found out that South Florida was ranked. Whatever, I can let one game slide. Saturday afternoon I watched highlights of Penn State losing to Illinois. Since when did Illinois have a football team? And then the Ducks of Oregon lost to the Bears of Cal. After watching Oregon tear apart Michigan I figured they could beat even a good PAC 10 team. Nope. Fuck, down $88.

Sunday didn’t fare much better. First the Jets lost to the winless Buffalo Bills. Then the Atlanta game went over the total (who knew Joey Harrington could throw TD passes?). In the afternoon games I had Seattle (winner!) and Pittsburgh (loser). I was up $40 from the previous weekend but after this weekend’s slaughter (1-7) I was down $94. Tired, dejected, and drunk, I did what any true gambler does in these situations: the catch up bet.

I mulled over the Eagles/Giants game for the good part of an hour. The Eagles had just had an outstanding game against the Detroit Lions but their starting running back was out. The Giants were coming off a second half rally against a decent Washington Redskins team. I was torn between the two teams. But then I started thinking; there were a lot of home dogs that had won outright and the Giants were a three point home dog. In the end the time of possession for the decision was Eagles 55 minutes, Giants 5 minutes, with the Giants claiming the final 5 minutes. I took the G-men for a hundo.

After sitting at the bar from 11:30 to 7:00 I was pretty much beered out so I packed up my shit and headed home. To my giddy delight I found the game on one of the funky digital channels way up in the hundreds. The game came in bright, crisp, and clear. Yeah, it was good.

The Giants played a damn good game. Towards the end I started feeling sorry for Eagle’s quarterback McNabb as he was sacked 11 or 12 times. I was surprised he could still walk after the game with his surgically repaired knee and all. But the Giants won and I was a happy camper. Instead of being down $204 I was up $6. Just a little bit of a swing there.

(During the game my doorbell rang. It was pretty weird because nobody rings my doorbell and certainly not at 9:00 at night. Turns out it was one of the next door neighbors. Early on Saturday I had stopped one of his friends to find out who owned the grey Mercury that’s usually parked on the street. At first his friend was like “What Mercury?” till I told him I saw another neighbor back into his door and drive off on Friday morning. Good thing for that early MRI appointment otherwise I still would have been sleeping. So I gave the guy a pen and paper since I was pretty much done by that point, gave him my info and wished him good luck. I guess the broad who backed into his car was denying it all.)

(And then the Renter’s car almost took one on Saturday, parked in the same spot as the neighbor’s on Friday. Some broad in a full size pickup was backing up while talking on her cell phone. Pops and I couldn’t believe that the Renter’s car didn’t get hit. I had started to walk over just incase the woman decided to drive just like the one on Friday. You won’t find me parking my car there ever again.)

All in all it was a good weekend. Pops and I fixed the rotten boards that were falling off the garage on Saturday and watched a close Badger game. I got shit loads of sleep after getting shit faced early on Saturday and Sunday. And we had good weather in the mid 60’s. Couldn’t have asked for much more.

Oh, and the FA did some research on the TV bulb. After 10 minutes on the phone he too agreed that I should conserve the bulb so BOOYAH!!! (Although he did mention that I’m a dick and an ass but I can live with that.)