Wednesday Meeting

So I took a couple days off of work. I had some time to burn and really just needed a breather, a refresher if you will. Waking up at noon for four days straight is better than sex in my book. Well, I haven’t had sex in quite a while, but I do remember a lot of physical labor and a lot of sweating and I’m not all that accustomed to physical labor; the sweating is just something I live with every day. Sure I lift weights five days a week, but I get results from that whereas with sex I usually don’t climax and end up apologizing to the victim that, well, it’s just disappointing.

While I’m on the subject of sweating, my meeting on Wednesday went ok. I think. It didn’t start off all that well. I left work early and raced back home to change into the suit and tie. First off, it was 84 degree outside. I don’t have air conditioning in the Jeep. I was already as nervous as a Chinese guy who just got drafted by a Midwest basketball team, and when I’m in these situations you know what happens to me – I sweat. But this was ok because I was going to be changing clothes anyway. I got home, freshened up a bit (extra extra deodorant), brushed my teeth, and threw on the monkey suit. The monkey suit is pretty stylish (brown/tan) that I bought about two years ago. Two years ago I weighed 210 lbs. Now I weigh 230 lbs. You wouldn’t think so but 20 lbs adds a lot to your back and shoulders (two of my favorite body parts to work out besides chest). 20 lbs also adds a lot to your gut and neck (probably more so than to your back and shoulders). So there I was driving to the meeting, my belt a notch tighter than usual and my neck feeling like I had a wife hanging from it.

I got to the location and found a parking spot. Already sweating from the short mile drive, I got out of the car and put on the suit coat. I thought it felt a little tight but I figured it was just the shirt and tie that were cutting off my air flow. I walked in the door, asked the receptionist where I was supposed to go and headed off down the hall. I arrived at my destination and told another receptionist that I was there to see so-and-so. I took a seat and fumbled through some paperwork I brought with me. Realizing that I couldn’t go into this meeting with sweat flowing (yes, flowing) down my face, I asked if there was a restroom nearby. I walked in the restroom, grabbed a stack of paper towels, brought them up to my face when I realized… my suit coat color was flipped all the way up. I had spoken to two receptionists and neither one of them had said anything. Thanks, bitches.

I fixed the collar, sort of fixed the sweating, and went back to the waiting area. I met with my meeter (hate it when you can’t divulge any specifics) for the next 45 minutes. I don’t do well in these kind of meetings. I was told to be myself, use positive reflections on negative issues, and to, well, be myself. The only problem is that being myself doesn’t always work in these kind of meetings. These kind of meetings you have to be professional and portray yourself in a better image than you actually are. If you have read any postings on this blog you well know that I like to make fun of myself and the shit that happens in my life. I’m not one to tell you about my strong suits or brag about my accomplishments; I’m not that kind of guy. But I did my best, tried to say the right things while trying to be myself and, well, I guess I’ll just let you know how it went when I get some feedback.

Back to the time off. I haven’t done much of anything in the two days that I took off. Thursday I sat in bed (which is still in the living room, I hate painting) till noon and did absolutely nothing but watch TV till 6:00 when I made my way up to the bar. Today I sat in bed till 2:00 when it got too hot in the house (I refuse to turn on the air) and went outside. I put some used car oil in containers, realized I didn’t have an oil filter for the Jeep (I bought oil but no filter, go figure), and mowed the lawn. (Don’t get me wrong on this one, I can change my own oil but don’t ask me to do your brakes. I have a little manliness in me but not a whole lot.) I don’t know what the temperature was today, but by the time I got done with the lawn I was drenched. My chest, stomach, and upper part of my shorts where your stomach sweats and it drips down, just totally soaked. Yes, I looked sexy.

On this note (me looking damn sexy) I will leave you. Hopefully soon I can tell you about a second meeting.