Farting

I actually received a comment on this totally lame website, “Why talking about FARTING?” First off, I think the question was supposed to be “Why are you talking about farting?” I’m not sure, just going to guess. My question to you, why not talk about farting? Farting is cool. Farting is fun. Farting can make you shit your pants. Farting is just one of those things that I do. Deal with it. But I promise to try to not fart in the bedroom, assuming you are in my bedroom and naked. Anywhere else is fair game.

And more on Michael Vick:

The Associated Press reported that after consulting with the Falcons, NFL commissioner Roger Goodell and top league officials agreed Wednesday to let Vick play as the legal process determines the facts. A person with knowledge of the meeting, who requested anonymity so the case would not be influenced, said the NFL would stick to that position for the foreseeable future, despite its new personal conduct policy, the AP reported.

Let Michael Vick play? Are they talking play football or play with baby pit bulls? Fucking National Felon League. Way to step up on this one. The one man who has more power than David Stern is sitting on the side lines twiddling his thumbs. Mr. Goodell, I know it looks like you have aged 5 years since you took office in August 2006, but WHAT THE FUCK? You suspend Adam “Pacman” Jones for a whole season even though he hasn’t been charged with anything and you let Michael “Dog Killer” Vick play out the season as his trial goes on? I’m sorry, I don’t agree. Just because Vick is like the poster child of the N Fucking L doesn’t mean he can commit felonies and still vote in the presidential election. Felons can’t vote but they can play in the N Fucking L. Good, nice image to put out there for the young pups (get it?). And to imagine, I thought his brother Marcus was the fucked up one. What, Mr. Goodell, are you thinking? Do you think the federal prosecutors might be throwing darts at this one because they don’t have anything else to do? One, two, three, four witnesses. Hell, almost enough to give David Stern a basketball team. And when Vick’s three friends who were also indicted turn on him, dude, your boy is fucked. You know the feds are only after Vick, a high profile athlete. Do you really think his three cohorts will “stay true” and not rat on him? Poster boy to prison bitch within a year, I called it.

Brewers Game
Anyway, last night I went to the Brewers game with the Renter and her friend and his son. I had a pitcher at the bar beforehand and took four cans along with for before the game. The game was pretty boring and it was really hot and muggy. Around the fourth inning the Renter and I went outside to have a cigarette. When we returned to our seats we found the two seats on either side of ours were taken. So, instead of sitting shoulder to shoulder with some sweaty fat fucks we decided to go up to the 300 club where it was air conditioned. I don’t know what happened to the Renter but she got pissed at something. I tried talking to her about how I’m semi-claustrophobic and couldn’t go back and sit in our original seats, especially in that kind of humidity. After five minutes of basically talking to myself I gave up. Some people actually like to hear themselves talk, but I’m not one of those people. So I told her I was going to leave and walk home. I don’t know if she thought I was kidding or what but that’s what I did, walked out the door. Outside I found two other guys who were going the same direction and we all hopped into a taxi. Five minutes later I was back at the corner bar enjoying a $4.25 pitcher of Miller Lite (a.k.a. diet beer).

This story pretty much describes the way I live my life. If I don’t want to do something I won’t. In a social setting, I am not accountable to anyone. Sure, I might have left the Renter and her friend at the game, but it’s not like I left them there without a ride home or anything. It’s not like anyone would really miss me if I wasn’t there, so no big deal, right? I don’t think the Renter gets it even after living with me for almost a year now. It truly is all about me.