BEIJING (AP) - The 2008 Beijing Olympics are under pressure to be smoke-free, falling into line with previous Olympic venues.
Vice mayor Liu Jingmin said Beijing Organizing Committee officials have talked with Health Ministry officials "about setting aside special smoking areas in Games venues so as to ensure most parts of these venues are free of tobacco smog," the state-run Xinhua news agency reported on Monday.
Enforcing such a ban will be difficult in China, where about 350 million people — about one quarter of the population — are smokers.
Beijing organizers have been under pressure to change people's behavior before the Games. In recent months, campaigns have begun to stop people from spitting and teach them to stand in line. Some taxi drivers and hotel workers are also receiving etiquette and English lessons.
Stop people from spitting and teach them to stand in line? Do all these Chinese people have to be potty trained, too? I cannot believe there is a culture out there that does not know how to stand in line. I’m going to go out on a limb here and guess that they don’t have drive-throughs at their McDonalds.
News flash: The Chinese have banned drive-through windows at fast food restaurants in order to appease the car insurance industry and limit the number of side swipes that occur while customers impatiently wait for their food.
News flash: At the grand opening of the new McDonalds in downtown Beijing, the Hamburglar was accidentally sandwiched between two cars while serving free promotional hamburgers. He will be flame broiled later this week at St. Cuksumcow on 4th Ave. Refreshments and condiments will be served directly after the service.
News flash: Ronald McDonald got trampled by fifty Chinese adults while ten American girls on their 4th grade summer field trip stood in line and watched in horror. The girls appeared to be ok but are being examined by an investigative psychiatrist. It seems the girls now involuntarily pee their pants when they see size 22 shoes or someone with red hair.
News flash: Grimace gets pissed at spitting Chinese customers and eats them all, smokes doobie afterwards, holds breath too long, turns purple and dies.
News flash: After a botched French fry robbery, the Fry Kids were spit on numerous times by Chinese customers. Depressed, the Fry Kids got fried with Grimace, stuffed fries down his throat (the truth comes out!), and made off with his weed.
Porn directors must have a hell of a time getting the guys to wait in the bukake line.
If you find a pen pal in China, send him/her some sun flower seeds. (“Eat, Spit, be Happy!”)
When using a urinal in China, be sure to step back and spread your legs so the guys on your sides and behind you can go at the same time.
And lastly…
When shopping for Asian porn in China, be careful of the patrons standing next to you. That may not be spit that lands on your shoe.
1 comment:
HA! Nice one.
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