Chula Vista, Wisconsin Dells

Trying to put this into words will not do it justice.

The Renter and I took two friends to the Chula Vista resort in the Wisconsin Dells.  They had their winter/week day special going on: $100 a night for two people, all you can eat, all you can drink.  It ended up being $238 for two nights after they added on their insane hotel tax but still, $119/person for 48 hours of eating and drinking.  I think I got my money's worth six hours after check in.

The first night I had all you can eat steak with three or four green beans.  When you have all you can eat steak there really isn't a need for sides.  For breakfast the next morning I had bacon with a side of eggs.  After overindulging at the indoor water park I kind of missed lunch (travesty) but made up for it with an awesome crab leg and fish dinner.  Mind you, this whole time I was drinking, for free.  Free.

A couple of the highlights of the trip:

While standing outside having a smoke a rather older woman was standing next to me.  I politely asked how she was doing and she said she had just taken a shower and felt wet and damp.  Having eaten like a king, fuel for the fire, I said I felt a little damp since I had just shit myself - and proceeded to rip a pretty decent fart while I was standing right next to her.  She smiled, backed away from me and went back in the hotel.  My friend blew beer out of his nose.

The next night, again standing outside having a smoke, a family guy with two kids in tow asked me where the shuttle bus in front of the hotel was going.  "Titty bar."  Apparently guys in their forties with two kids get brainwashed in marriage and don't know what "titty bar" means.  "No, the shuttle, do you know where it's going?"  I put out my cigarette and walked inside.  He was a lost soul.  Meanwhile, my friend was once again shooting beer out of his nose.

When I usually go out I like to have a pitcher of beer in front of me.  That way, if my glass gets low, at least I know there's more beer right at hand and I don't have to wait for service.  But at Chula Vista, this was not an issue.  The service was phenomenal.  It seemed like I always had at least two beers in front of me (the Renter would order two and pass them over to me).  Seriously, I can't put into words how much fun the whole party had.

When I went back to work, uh, talk about depressing.  After having a Sunday, Monday, and half of Tuesday of all you can eat and drink (yes, I couldn't leave free beer on the table Tuesday morning), and then having to go back to work, it was like the dream was over.

This special goes on till the end of February.  I'll be checking for availability later today.