There are a lot of things in life that I'm afraid of. I don't like spiders at all. When (not if) dead people start walking around and beat on my door I'll most certainly hide in a closet (thanks Halloween). I know for a fact that if I drop $1,000 on two hookers I wouldn't be able to get it up. (First, I'd have to be drunk to pay a hooker. Second, I'd have to be really drunk to spend $500 on a hooker. Third, I'd have to be really really drunk to spend $1,000 on two hookers, hence the not getting it up part.) "So, how'd it go with those two broads llast night?" "Yeah, don't want to talk about it."
But tooday, standing outside at work I felt a rumble in my stomach. I had a pizza for dinner last night and I know my body doesn't handle cheese that well, let alone all the red peppers I doused on it.
Last drag of the cig and I notice my car isn't in the parking lot. The Renter drove today. I don't have my car. I've always said the most embarrasing/easy way out of work is to shit your pants. What boss wouldn't take pitty on an employee who shit his pants? But today I didn't have my car to drive home. Even worse, the Renter was at a conference so I was really stuck at work.
I could feel my ass crack start to sweat. I know when that happens I need to find a bathroom fast. Squeezing my cheeks together I hurrried back up stairs only to find the cleaning lady in the men's room.
I had to throw my underwear away.
No comments:
Post a Comment