Lack of Motivation/Larry Bird

Lately I’ve been going through a major spell of lack of motivation in my personal life. I just don’t have the motivation to do anything that I have on my list of things to do after I get off work. I think there might be one thing that I regularly keep to on my schedule and that’s lifting weights on Tuesdays. I normally don’t have dinner with mom or have anything else scheduled right after work so I’m able to hit the weights in the basement at 5:30 and get to the bar at 6:30 in time for some beer and tacos before the 8:00 pool league starts. How’s that for motivation?

I don’t know what started it but I have an inkling that it was porn. One Saturday I managed to successfully download two full length porn movies on to my computer. Oh and were they good ones, too. My main reason of downloading porn is to put it on my cell phone (because everyone needs 18 hours of porn on their phone). After I transferred the three new hours of porn I found that they wouldn’t play. They worked fine on my computer and I’ve never had a problem like this before. I checked the available memory on the phone and everything looked fine. With no explanation of why they wouldn’t play I became dejected and maybe a little depressed.

(Usually I can figure out why things like this don’t work, like when I sent myself a 2007 Word document that I couldn’t open at home. But this time, no such luck. Also note that there are many instances where I just suck and need someone to do it for me, like paying a friend $10 to hang an outside light fixture because I don’t like playing with electrical wires. I used to be able to install an aftermarket CD player in a car in under an hour but AC house wires scare the fuck out of me. That more than likely stems from an incident when I was in second grade and went to plug in the Christmas tree lights and my fingers slipped from the plastic to the metal prongs and I got a pretty good jolt.)

After spending a good five hours trying to get the porn on my phone I felt defeated. Besides the time-to-spare Tuesdays, lifting weights on the other week nights just took away from beer time. Once I even went straight to the bar after work and then felt majorly guilty leaving the puppy in her kennel for so long. (That guilt actually turned into me having “just one more” twice that evening.) The weekends weren’t any better. There are a number of outside yard related things that I should get done but keep putting off. The Jeep could use its first wash and wax of the year but I keep telling myself it will be warmer out next weekend. My room and bathroom could use a good cleaning but nobody sees my bedroom and very few people see the brown fungus growing in the toilet. I do manage to lift weights on both Saturdays and Sundays but again that’s probably due to the guilty feeling that builds during the week. The bar doesn’t open till later on those days so I generally lounge around watching TV till an hour before they open and then lift weights. Even then the weight sessions aren’t the greatest. Instead of doing three-four chest exercises I’ll stick with one and do it for ten sets – never changing the weight, mind you. Last Sunday I did five sets of shoulder shrugs just so I could convince myself that I was getting in a good workout (and yes, my neck is very sore today).

The upcoming weeks are going to be very trying as far as all this is concerned. While it was 40 degrees today it’s supposed to get up to 70 on Thursday. 70 degrees means sitting on the deck and consuming as many beers as humanly possible while the little puppy gets as much fresh air as caninely possible. Baseball starts in a week. The Brewers typically start their games at 6:00 which means a very quick workout (if at all) in order to be ready (cooler filled) for the start of the game. Add to that the corner bar will probably be closing as it goes under new management so I’ll probably want to be up there, too. The possibility of the bar closing and the July 5th no-smoking law will more than likely make me clinically depressed.

But as of today I am officially older, possibly wiser, and definitely thirstier. I am set to handle all these challenges in stride as I embark on my “Larry Bird” year of life. This will be the year where I no longer leave scrapes and scabs on my face as I fall walking home. This will be the year where I control my bodily functions to the point where I only pee and poop my pants twice (that’s four total incidents). Yep, this year is going to be a doozy.

Do they have internet service in prison yet?