Beautiful Girls/B-Day

On Saturday the Renter asked me to not go to my mom’s house for dinner on Monday. I always go to my mom’s house for dinner on Monday’s. It’s the first day of the week and I get one of the two days I go over there out of the way right away. So I’m like what the fuck, does the Renter want to play tic tac toe or something instead? Then on Sunday mom called and said she had something to do on Monday. Fine, no big deal.

I got home on Monday and let the puppy out. I was making some cigarettes when the Renter walked in. “I thought you were going to your mom’s after work?” “She cancelled.” After making my stash for the night I changed and went downstairs to lift weights. I flipped on ESPN and got a little caught up in the Baylor/Duke women’s game. That Brittney Griner is something else (40 min, 15 pts, 11 rebs, 9 blks, 35 altered shots). Anyway, it was back/bicep night. These nights tend to take a while mostly because I am doing everything in my basement. When I’m doing wide grip chin ups (or any chin up for that matter) I only have one weight setting with which to do them – 230 lbs. Towards the fourth and fifth sets I’m only getting five or so reps in so I have to do a multitude of sets in order to get a decent number of reps in. Usually I like doing the big body exercises like chest, back, and shoulders but lately I’ve forced myself to include a number of bicep/tricep moves so I pumped off six or seven sets of various curls.

During my workout the Renter came downstairs looking for clean clothes. I noticed she had her hair all done up. Little odd for a Monday night but then again she isn’t completely normal.

After my workout I went upstairs and changed. (My workouts go set-two minutes rest-set, so it’s not like I get all sweaty and shit.) I took the puppy around the block for her 6:00/7:00 poop and put her in her kennel. While I was lifting weights I was starting to dread going to the bar on my birthday. Somehow everyone seemed to know it was my birthday even though I hadn’t told anyone. I like to keep that kind of stuff on the down low. So I thought maybe I’d stop up there for two pitchers and head home, avoid the whole karaoke crap. Only problem was I drank my last Bud on Sunday and didn’t have any beer in the house. Then the light bulb turned on. The Renter’s car was on the street. I could be a nice guy and put her car in the driveway – after a quick trip to the liquor store! I picked up a 30-pack of Natty Light and a lottery ticket from the store and drove home.

I thought about taking the puppy for a long, long walk to delay going to the bar. Like I said, everyone knew it was my birthday and I really wasn’t looking forward to it.

I went anyways.

Upon walking in the door it seemed like everything was the same as usual. It wasn’t until the bartender started pouring me a beer from the far left tap – most certainly not the Miller Lite knob. “What are you pouring me?” “Lite, your beer.” Then I saw he had a plastic cup on the top of the tap. They usually only do that if it is out or if the beer is paid for by a party. Then I saw the birthday balloons on all the tables. Then I saw the eggs rolls (my favorite!) and sloppy joe mix. I guess the Renter had arranged a little get-together. In attendance: the FA, the old roommate, Too Tall, Squeaks, Ge-offry, Mr. Suess, Yellow, Mr. Johnson, Mr. Fix-it and his woman, Billy B and the Walking Man. It was like a scene out of Beautiful Girls when Sharron Cassidy dragged Tommy “Birdman” Rowland to the VFW because she had to pee – only to be surprised with a birthday party (and if I reference Beautiful Girls, my favorite movie of all time, you know it was a big deal). Everyone was eating, drinking and having a grand time. I wish I could tell you how many shots I did but, alas, I lost track. I can tell you it wasn’t just one shot from each person but multiple shots. One of my friend looked at me. “Do you usually do shots?” I shook my head no but I sure as hell wasn’t going to pass them up. The Walking Man even gave me a bottle of Jagermeister which, while not my favorite, will most certainly be consumed this summer. All in all it was a good time.

I don’t remember leaving.

I don’t remember taking the puppy outside.

But I did make it to work today and had some leftover egg rolls for breakfast!!!