Saturday, September 06, 2008

Crazy Woman

I didn’t think much of it at first. Dad and I were unloading some of my old toys (Transformers, Hot Wheels) from the trailer when this black Mercedes SUV pulled up. It took the person a bit to get it parked on the street – obvious signal that it was a woman driver. As I was walking back from the garage, sweat marks, disheveled hair and all, this woman asks me if I’m [real name inserted here – I swear this whole anonymous thing is what keeps the female readers who don’t know me at arms length. If they knew me I’d be getting pussy all the time. ALL THE TIME! Like right now even.]. She was older, probably mid-fifties with a hair style dating back to her era. I replied as I bent over the trailer for another box. She asked me if the Polock was around and I told her I hadn’t seen him for a couple days. She asked if he lived at my house and I told her he had slept out on the deck either Friday or Saturday night. “Ok, because he owes $15,000 that he took from me.” I replied, “That sucks” in stride as I headed back to the garage with the box.

Apparently she must not have appreciated my response.

I have received handwritten letters on the Polock’s behalf – hand delivered nonetheless – each of the last two days. The letters ramble on in classic crazy woman fashion going on and on about how could he do this to her and how he owes her money ($14,356 to be exact – told you, crazy). The letters have been six pages long on varying sized pieces of paper, usually about 5x8.

I laughed at the first one.

I swore at the second one.

The Renter called the post office. Now I have to take the letters in to the head postmaster(bator) to file a complaint. I guess they’ll give Linda (actual real name!) a call and they’ll tell her to stop or something. I’m not expecting them to do too much. Sure, they tramp through sleet and snow but have they ever handled a crazy woman before? Next week I’ll scan the letters in here for your perusal. While they’re actually kind of funny to read, it isn’t funny at all when they’ve been placed right next to your ROTH IRA statement. Oh, and she has her phone number listed in there a couple times. I ain’t blocking that out. You can feel free to call her and tell her how fucking crazy she is (after dialing #67 of course).

Strike that, just got a call from the Renter. The number listed is actually the Polock’s. One of the things on the list of stuff he owes her was a cell phone. Why she’d leave that number as a callback number, when he has the actual phone, blows my mind.

6’5”, 230 lbs, benches 250 six times, and I have to get the fucking postman to take care of the crazy woman.

Tell you what, bitch. YOU owe ME $4 for gas! Pay up!

God I’m such a pussy.

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