Haven’t Been in the Mood…

…for sex lately.

Yeah, right, just kidding. Internet access on my cell phone is like the greatest thing ever. I’ve “made it” with numerous new hotties on my phone this summer. Thank you ladies.

I haven’t been in the mood to write anything cool and funny (or gay and lame) lately because of troubles on the home front. You see, about a week ago my dad moved out of my parents’ house. No warning, no hints, just moved out. I’m still trying to come to grips with this.

I got the call on Saturday.

Dad: You’re probably going to receive a call from mom in a little while. I moved out today.

Me: Where?

Dad: Why?

Me: No, where?

Dad: Oh, Waukesha.

I didn’t need to know why dad moved out. Mom’s been on a downward slide for quite some time now. I saw the irrational post-it notes on the kitchen counter. I heard the whole one line conversation that went like, “What the fuck did you do with the red crock pot?” Yeah, because crock pots are so worthy of yelling about the second I step out the door. Crack pipe sure, but crock pot? So I really didn’t need a reason why from dad. I pretty much knew already.

But I didn’t think it would be like this.

The only one home at night when I swing by for dinner is mom. Even the two puppies are gone. Without the puppies there the cat stalks my puppy. Fucker bit Molly on the first day. Finally he did something that put me over the edge; cat met foot. Twice. I felt a little bad afterwards that Molly had to be bitten in order for me to feel oh-so-damn-good but I got over that quickly. My smile sure lasted a long time. Cat doesn’t come near me anymore.

So…

“What the fuck happened to my family?”

I think that one’s more worthy of the f-word than the stupid crock pot.

I’m not going to talk to them about it. Sure, it’s my family but I figure they can work this shit out on their own. They’re grown adults. I’m just a 31-year-old who has enough problems of his own (seriously, I think my finger nail is going to fall off from opening so many cans last weekend – wouldn’t that totally be like the end of the world?). I haven’t asked dad where exactly he’s living or if he’s living with someone. I really don’t want to get too involved.

And to couple all that up with a four game sweep of the Brewers by the Cubs. I’m telling you, it’s been rough over here.

At least Brett’s back. I mean, he is back, right?

(Yeah, and I don't want any phone calls about this from those of you who know me. Still working through the whole process, not exactly ready to talk about it.)