Sprint PCS

Hey, Sprint, I’ve got a couple pointers for you. The next time you call me about a new phone and a new plan, could you have someone who speaks English on the other end of the line? Not that I have anything against people who don’t have English as their native language, but do you really think I’m going to sign up to get a new phone and a new service plan when I have no idea what an LX160 by LG is and can’t even understand how many minutes are included in the plan? “We’ll give you an LX160 by LG free of charge.” “Uh, does that have the pocket pussy option on it? P-o-c-k-e-t p-u-s-s-y. You’re not sure?” Seriously, you’d think they’d know enough English to understand that but no, she didn’t. And yes, I really said that. She probably had to ask her supervisor what that meant. “Sir, what’s a pocket pussy?” “Have you been looking through my desk again?!” Yeah, she may or may not still be employed.

She thought she was doing well as I said “ok” every time she paused. She thought she had the sale in the bag. “Shall we mail that out for you today, sir?” “No sweetie, not unless it has the pocket pussy option.” I didn’t say that, but I did tell her that I’d think about it, at least what I understood of the conversation. Then she pointed me to some link on the Sprint website. “Are you looking for it, sir?” as if I was sitting in front of my computer right then (actually I was) and was going to go straight to their website (sorry, hun). I’m not going to agree to a two year contract after a two minute conversation.

I shouldn’t say that. The plan I have now I signed up for after standing at the Sprint kiosk for two minutes. Like the TV purchase I wasn’t all there, not even sure if you can call what I was doing standing.

The other thing is, and remember I’m really not that normal, I’d lose my pool game that I play six times a day as I’m sitting on the crapper. What would I do to bide my time as I grunt and groan in fecal delight? Fuck that, I’m keeping that phone till either the battery dies or I drop it in the toilet. Anyone want to make odds on which one it will be?