Liking ‘Em Young

You all know how I like to joke about checking out the younger ladies. Maybe it’s not so much joking about checking out the young ones (clarify – 18 and over) because I must admit I do check them out, but more of joking about myself because I find myself checking out the young ones. Not that I’m a pervert or anything, but when you see a nice ass/rack jogging down the sidewalk you’re going to look. Picking out a nice butt is a lot easier than picking out a woman’s age.

Remember when I mentioned there was a new bartender at the bar where the Sunday Pool Crew and I go every Sunday? Yeah, well she was working again last night. Ever since she almost dumped a pitcher of beer in my lap I’ve developed a friendly banter with her. When she begins to hand the pitcher over the bar I take two quick steps back in fake anticipation that she’s going to dump another one. Last night I pretended to spill my empty pitcher when I went up for a refill. She laughs at all my dumb jokes and I stare at her breasts – er – yeah, I stare at her breasts.

As we were playing pool last night I leaned over towards the Renter. “Hey, do you think she has a boyfriend?” Summoning up some Ninja reflexes the Renter hopped off her chair and was flagging the bartender down before I could get a word of protest out. You have to pardon me a bit here as I don’t exactly recall what was said but man, I certainly remember one detail.

Me: So?

Renter: No, she doesn’t have a boyfriend.

Me: And…?

Renter: But she thought you and I were together.

Me: Oh puke.

Renter: Then I asked her if she liked guys like you.

Me: And…?

Renter: She asked how old you were.

Me: And…?

Renter: I told her you were 30.

Me: And…?

Renter: She said, “Really? Huh, um, I’m only 18.”

Me, spitting out my beer.

So now the 18 yr-old bartender at the place I go to every Sunday night knows that I am a ripe old age of 30 and have inquired about her in a dating kind of way. Well not really in a dating kind of way; I was thinking more of a sex on the pool table kind of way, but we won’t tell her that now will we.

18!!! Seriously, I just can’t win.