First up is Scarlett, who, if you believe the British tabloids, has signed on to star as porn queen Jenna Jameson in the adaptation of her best-selling and surprisingly well-reviewed autobiography, "How to Make Love Like a Porn Star: A Cautionary Tale."
When I first read this I got really excited. Really excited as in Paul Rueubens (Pee Wee Herman) excited. But then my hopes of whacking off in a movie theater came tumbling down:
Johansson denies any and all involvement in the sure-to-be skin-heavy flick.
Fuck. I’ll just have to go back to Elisha Cuthbert in The Girl Next Door.
But on a side note, thank you, Ms. Johansson, for not taking on this role as it would surely land me in the county pen for exposing myself while watching you perform in this movie. And I really don’t want to live the rest of my life with the nickname “Pee Wee.” Seriously, I’ll take “Shithead” over “Pee Wee” any day. (Wee Man of Jackass fame, I feel for you.)
Email of the day:
i know you aren't nice.
you are actually very selfish person. the most selfish person i know. you really don't care about anyone but yourself and what will make you happy and what you want.
you take people for granted and use them to your full advantage. you don't care how others feel or who you hurt along the way.
it's all about you......screw others.
nice, respectful, caring, compassionate, trustworthy, reliable, can count on......these words don't descripe you or fit you.
And you know what? That’s pretty much right online, except for the using people to my full advantage part. I don’t use people. Well, if you’re offering sex or sexual favors I will most certainly use you, but other than that I don’t want anything from anyone. Just ask my parents what I have asked for the last seven Christmases and birthdays – absolutely nothing. Maybe I should start asking for something specific. I swear I must have a lifetime supply of cologne and socks since that seems to be the only things they get me.
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