The FA called today.
FA: I had to go down to the post office today to pick up a certified letter. Usually when you get a certified letter in the mail its something important like the IRS wants to audit you or incriminating pictures, like of me masturbating on my toilet or something.
Me: Yeah, because people sneak into your bathroom and wait for you to start whacking off.
FA: Speaking of which, the guys at [pizza place] and I were talking about the whole sitting down/standing up while you masturbate thing. They all agreed with me that it was more comfortable sitting down than standing up.
Me: Really?
FA: Yeah. Joe said it must have something to do with you tall people because Harry used to do it in the sink, too. The rest of us short people wouldn’t be able to reach that high.
Me: So what, because you’re only 5’10” you can’t get your penis over the edge of the sink?
FA: No, I’d have to stand on a phone book or something.
Thank you, FA, for giving me something to write about on a day that I don’t have any material to work with.
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