Sara Kova and MJ

I found this on one of those celebrity gossip pages that I’m ashamed to admit I read sometimes:

In fact, the smoking-hot, 23-year-old blond (Sara Kova) seems to have induced delirium in several famous men during the three-day Atlantis idyll. At Thursday's birthday party for Stevie Wonder at the Cove, she was taken aback when single-again Michael Jordan did a fast break in her direction. "He was walking so intensely, I was a little nervous," she recalls. "He said, ‘Hi, who are you? I'm Leroy.' I knew he was Michael Jordan, but I played along. He asked if I wanted to come out on a boat with his friends. I passed on that one, but we did party together later at Aura."

His Airness is 44 years old; she’s 23 years old. When you’re the greatest basketball player ever and rich as hell, do you really get to have sex with extremely hot women who are 20 years younger than you? I’m speechless after reading this, truly speechless. Being 30 years old, I would find it hard to relate with someone who’s only 23. Sure I’d bone her, but just the fact that we’re that far apart in age would deter me from even trying. But I’d do her, kind of like that time I found that 18 year old passed out on my doorstep… (For the record I did manage to wake her up and she answered “Jyess” when I asked her if she was game. Later I realized that she might have mistaken “game” for “name” and I misunderstood “Jess” for “Gee, yes” but by then it was too late – insertion – and I was having troubles getting her back to consciousness to make sure that she was indeed game. So I did what every concerned man would do with a naked passed out woman in his bed; finished up quickly and left her on my 80 year old neighbor’s front step.)

And if you really believe that I had sex with an unconscious 18 year old you are truly a sick puppy.

I double checked her ID and she was really 19.

Ok, I’m feeling guilty. She was almost 19, not that it matters but you know how I am with truth and honesty (5.67% of this is true, the percentage has been dropping rapidly lately). You know, we gotta keep this site (un)real, dog.

Reading back through that I think I am the sick puppy for making up some story about having sex with a passed out woman. She really wasn’t passed out, just taking little catnaps and waking up every five minutes asking what my name was. She mistakenly thought I knew her and was yelling “Jess” when I was really yelling “Yes” and appeared to somewhat go along with it (didn’t struggle) or passed out again, I can’t recall which.

And yes, I’m going to church this Sunday.